Hindsight

May 1 cont...

After my sobfest in the room, I had called Naomi, Chiharu's sister who offered to help me if I got back to Tokyo. Her voice was so kind I wanted to wrap myself up in it.

When I checked my emails, there was one from Chiharu saying that Naomi had rung. Chiharu confirmed Naomi would help me but that their Mother's house in Iwate was being renovated so I was unable to go there.

By now I was starting to feel that I could integrate back into my human form and in a moment of clarity I realised I was about to give up on Shikoku before I had even given it a chance to work its magic on me. That didn't seem fair or right. I also knew that my Temple spin-out was completely self-induced. Not one person looked at me, or in any way showed any judgement toward me or my appearance. In fact it was me judging myself all along.

I replied to Chiharu saying I would go to Shikoku afterall.

After the (horrendously expensive) internet, I made another coffee and sat down by the American man and we talked for an hour. He had been to New Zealand and loved it - especially Wellington. (I found often the first reference a person would make, when told them I was from New Zealand, was to the Lord of the Rings and usually with rolling eyes of ecstasy at the landscape).

I got my laundry and went back down to the room. When I opened the door I admit I could have been a little more contained in showing my relief to see two young English sisters sitting at the table in their pyjamas, writing postcards 'back home' IN ENGLISH!. We talked and laughed for a few hours - with Kimiori San walking in and out restlessly. She seemed lost and uncomfortable - I knew that feeling intimately and felt sorry for her but didn't have the words to do anything about it.

We all finally went to bed about midnight.

Even though it was late, feeling lighter (cleaner) and a little bit excited, I texted the few people I had spun out at, letting them know I had put off Giving Up for a day or two...