May 22 cont...
I was feeling really frustrated, short tempered, melancholic and by now, out of the Henro loop.
What was I doing?
I worked out that this return saga was going to cost me $1,000 NZD with travel, accommodation, stamps and the eventual framing of the scroll.
I kept feeling unfairly bitter towards Hiroki San, my (misleading) information centre at Koya San, but I knew there was a high chance I might not have bought one then anyway, remembering how money aware I was at the time. But I would have liked to know my options and had the choice.
I also knew it wasn’t Hiroki San’s fault either. How could she know if she had never done it herself? And she was absolute kindness and generosity and would be devastated if she knew she hadn’t given correct information.
It would be doing myself a notsosmall favour if I got over it...
Emotionless Return - T1 again
May 22 cont...
The train finally left.
I got off and Bando Station and, because I had been there before, I didn’t bother looking for Henro signs. I just headed in the general direction.
On the way, I found a Post Office and withdrew some money. The exchange rate had now dropped to 68 yen to the NZ dollar. Painful! And the exchange fee was $14.50 each time I made a withdrawal.
I walked around the corner and the Temple was right in front of me. I felt no emotion as I went through the process.
I almost burst into tears as the woman at the stamp office yelled Huh Huh! as I walked in, forgetting that this was the only place where I was meant to take off my shoes at the door.
I got the scroll stamped, and for some reason, I got the book stamped a second time too. I think I wanted the stamp guy to see why I was having my scroll stamped but that it wasn’t my first time.
Either way, he hardly batted an eye.
The train finally left.
I got off and Bando Station and, because I had been there before, I didn’t bother looking for Henro signs. I just headed in the general direction.
On the way, I found a Post Office and withdrew some money. The exchange rate had now dropped to 68 yen to the NZ dollar. Painful! And the exchange fee was $14.50 each time I made a withdrawal.
I walked around the corner and the Temple was right in front of me. I felt no emotion as I went through the process.
I almost burst into tears as the woman at the stamp office yelled Huh Huh! as I walked in, forgetting that this was the only place where I was meant to take off my shoes at the door.
I got the scroll stamped, and for some reason, I got the book stamped a second time too. I think I wanted the stamp guy to see why I was having my scroll stamped but that it wasn’t my first time.
Either way, he hardly batted an eye.
The Devils On My Shoulder Conspire
May 22 cont...
I came out and went to the shop where all the excitement of my first day, with people all around me, buying me things, giving me settai and advice had been only three weeks ago. It was like being back at a fairground on a Monday morning. It was quiet and empty and the lady only recognized me when I showed her the bag O’Sha San had signed.
As I looked around the store, there were scrolls everywhere, some with frames, and all cheaper than the one I had bought. How could I have missed them? I felt so naïve and deflated. I couldn’t function again.
I had to go and sit down for a while.
I texted my frustrations to GLM…
Hi Sweetheart – I’m at T1 but I just don’t think I can go through it all again. I’m so over it! But it doesn’t feel complete either. I feel bitterness – not good…
It probably wasn’t fair on her but I needed to vent.
I felt really stale and I knew I was lacking the bright eyed excitement that opened the Helpful Doors last time.
But I also kept getting that saying in my head again – I’m not even giving Shikoku a chance to weave its Magic’.
I also said to myself – how will I feel if I don’t carry on?
In two days time, when I’m not so tired (and premenstrual!) and the pilgrimage has a fond reminiscence about it rather that the bitter perpetuality it felt like today - How would I feel if I was in Osaka or Tokyo with my incomplete scroll?
I decided that it was only 10 in the morning, I had nothing else to do, it was sunny and the next Temple was only 10 minutes walk so I may as well get to it.
I came out and went to the shop where all the excitement of my first day, with people all around me, buying me things, giving me settai and advice had been only three weeks ago. It was like being back at a fairground on a Monday morning. It was quiet and empty and the lady only recognized me when I showed her the bag O’Sha San had signed.
As I looked around the store, there were scrolls everywhere, some with frames, and all cheaper than the one I had bought. How could I have missed them? I felt so naïve and deflated. I couldn’t function again.
I had to go and sit down for a while.
I texted my frustrations to GLM…
Hi Sweetheart – I’m at T1 but I just don’t think I can go through it all again. I’m so over it! But it doesn’t feel complete either. I feel bitterness – not good…
It probably wasn’t fair on her but I needed to vent.
I felt really stale and I knew I was lacking the bright eyed excitement that opened the Helpful Doors last time.
But I also kept getting that saying in my head again – I’m not even giving Shikoku a chance to weave its Magic’.
I also said to myself – how will I feel if I don’t carry on?
In two days time, when I’m not so tired (and premenstrual!) and the pilgrimage has a fond reminiscence about it rather that the bitter perpetuality it felt like today - How would I feel if I was in Osaka or Tokyo with my incomplete scroll?
I decided that it was only 10 in the morning, I had nothing else to do, it was sunny and the next Temple was only 10 minutes walk so I may as well get to it.
An Attitude Makeover Yields Results - T2 & 3 again
May 22 cont...
I walked dejectedly to the next Temple, went through the motions and knew I was going to have to give my attitude a makeover if I was going to get anywhere near another Temple without walking.
I stood at the side of the road with my thumb out and fledging smile then, sure enough, an older Henro couple stopped and picked me up.
They couldn’t speak any English and the man was obsessed with his GPS! So obsessed that despite huge and very clear roadsigns that even I could read, we got lost. When we went past the turn off, I said San Ban desu ka? And when they both turned around and said Hai, I pointed behind us – which is where we eventually ended up. From there, the man kept asking me which way to turn but, because I had walked it the last time (and had guido’s who did all the navigation work), I didn’t know which way by road.
We finally got to Temple 3. I got out, got my bag, thanked them very much and went straight to the stamp office. I figured I didn’t have to (and, at this stage, didn’t want to) go through all the rituals again with everybody watching me.
I walked dejectedly to the next Temple, went through the motions and knew I was going to have to give my attitude a makeover if I was going to get anywhere near another Temple without walking.
I stood at the side of the road with my thumb out and fledging smile then, sure enough, an older Henro couple stopped and picked me up.
They couldn’t speak any English and the man was obsessed with his GPS! So obsessed that despite huge and very clear roadsigns that even I could read, we got lost. When we went past the turn off, I said San Ban desu ka? And when they both turned around and said Hai, I pointed behind us – which is where we eventually ended up. From there, the man kept asking me which way to turn but, because I had walked it the last time (and had guido’s who did all the navigation work), I didn’t know which way by road.
We finally got to Temple 3. I got out, got my bag, thanked them very much and went straight to the stamp office. I figured I didn’t have to (and, at this stage, didn’t want to) go through all the rituals again with everybody watching me.
Pimping A Ride
May 22 cont...
I got back out to the gate before all the current Henro could leave and had my thumb out when a What country are you from Please? lady stopped to talk to me.
Her English was sketchy and she kept offering me a cup of tea at her house a few doors down.
I showed her my book and scroll, explaining that this was my second time and why and that I just wanted to get going and get it finished. As she was talking to me, the Henro were starting to all leave.
She finally left me but came back a minute later with her own Henro book of stamps to show me. After a while, she sensed my distraction and urgency to get a ride so she started waving and yelling at people to see where they were going.
I had hitch hiked for years back home and had developed a sixth sense of who was approachable and who wasn’t – the well meaning woman was making people feel uncomfortable because they had no intention of giving me a lift (mostly because their cars were already full or had Monks in them etc).
After a while I had to say Onegai shimasu!! – No Please! Pointing to myself, that I could do it myself.
She finally got the hint and cheerfully left saying Gambette.
I got back out to the gate before all the current Henro could leave and had my thumb out when a What country are you from Please? lady stopped to talk to me.
Her English was sketchy and she kept offering me a cup of tea at her house a few doors down.
I showed her my book and scroll, explaining that this was my second time and why and that I just wanted to get going and get it finished. As she was talking to me, the Henro were starting to all leave.
She finally left me but came back a minute later with her own Henro book of stamps to show me. After a while, she sensed my distraction and urgency to get a ride so she started waving and yelling at people to see where they were going.
I had hitch hiked for years back home and had developed a sixth sense of who was approachable and who wasn’t – the well meaning woman was making people feel uncomfortable because they had no intention of giving me a lift (mostly because their cars were already full or had Monks in them etc).
After a while I had to say Onegai shimasu!! – No Please! Pointing to myself, that I could do it myself.
She finally got the hint and cheerfully left saying Gambette.
Back Into The Fold - T 4, 5 & 6 again
May 22 cont...
My older couple were the last to leave and again offered me a ride.
I exuberantly accepted and, after a while, was relieved to see that the guy had the GPS sorted. I relaxed and started enjoying the scenery.
When we got to Temple 4, they said they were going to Temple 10 today and did I want to come with them?
Did I want to come with them????!!!!!!
YES! – I was back in the flow and the fold.
Shikoku was working it’s unique Magic and charm once again.
I arigatoed animatedly.
Now that I didn’t have to think and plan, and now that I wasn’t walking, I was able to see things I hadn’t noticed before and be reminded of the things I had.
I still wasn’t sure if they understood that this was my second time, and the reason for it so when we got to Temple 6, I excitedly said I had stayed here the first time and showed them the photo of Taieriki San, Kenji San and Yahiro San at exactly the spot where they were in the picture and said, pointing, Golden Week.
They definitely got it now.
It felt wrong not doing some form of ritual so, because I was starting to feel light and much more confident again, I started playing. I found myself alternating between saying my Gya Teis and reciting all the words to either Amazing Grace or Extraordinary Machine in a way that anyone who didn't understand English might think I was saying the Hanya Shinkyo. I was having fun again...
My older couple were the last to leave and again offered me a ride.
I exuberantly accepted and, after a while, was relieved to see that the guy had the GPS sorted. I relaxed and started enjoying the scenery.
When we got to Temple 4, they said they were going to Temple 10 today and did I want to come with them?
Did I want to come with them????!!!!!!
YES! – I was back in the flow and the fold.
Shikoku was working it’s unique Magic and charm once again.
I arigatoed animatedly.
Now that I didn’t have to think and plan, and now that I wasn’t walking, I was able to see things I hadn’t noticed before and be reminded of the things I had.
I still wasn’t sure if they understood that this was my second time, and the reason for it so when we got to Temple 6, I excitedly said I had stayed here the first time and showed them the photo of Taieriki San, Kenji San and Yahiro San at exactly the spot where they were in the picture and said, pointing, Golden Week.
They definitely got it now.
It felt wrong not doing some form of ritual so, because I was starting to feel light and much more confident again, I started playing. I found myself alternating between saying my Gya Teis and reciting all the words to either Amazing Grace or Extraordinary Machine in a way that anyone who didn't understand English might think I was saying the Hanya Shinkyo. I was having fun again...
The Roadside Revisited - T7 to 10 again
May 22 cont...
I was surprised how quickly we got through.
At Temple 7 we had Udon across the street and the couple kindly paid for mine – Don’ worry.
GPS Henro lady at Udon place opposite Temple 7
Next we were going up the 333 stairs at Temple 10. This was the Temple I remembered Yahiro San telling me was good for Women, to rid them of their misfortunes.
I had been having a text conversation with Madam during the morning – she had been telling me that the building the Salon was in might be sold.
Again I gonged, prayed to and lit everything I could, this time for her.
After I said my goodbyes and thank yous to my GPS Guidos, I skipped back down the stairs saying Everything will work in Madams favour! all the way to the bottom.
As I was consulting my map and cars were driving past me, my friends came back up to me and showed me which direction they were going in, to go home.
They then amazingly offered to drop me off at a Hotel.
By now it was almost 4 so I accepted happily.
I remembered the Roadside Hotel and how they had been so kind as to get the elderly couple to return the maps I had purposefully left behind. Also – the Hotel had been happy to drive me to Temple 11.
The couple drove me for what seemed embarrassingly like miles, that were, I’m sure, completely out of their way.
We finally got there, I jumped out and said profuse thank yous and went into the Hotel.
The same zero English, smiling Kitty woman came out and she had given me a key before I could even ask.
I had paid, arranged breakfasto and a ride to the Temple and was in my room less than 10 minutes after walking in the door.
I was surprised how quickly we got through.
At Temple 7 we had Udon across the street and the couple kindly paid for mine – Don’ worry.
GPS Henro lady at Udon place opposite Temple 7Next we were going up the 333 stairs at Temple 10. This was the Temple I remembered Yahiro San telling me was good for Women, to rid them of their misfortunes.
I had been having a text conversation with Madam during the morning – she had been telling me that the building the Salon was in might be sold.
Again I gonged, prayed to and lit everything I could, this time for her.
After I said my goodbyes and thank yous to my GPS Guidos, I skipped back down the stairs saying Everything will work in Madams favour! all the way to the bottom.
As I was consulting my map and cars were driving past me, my friends came back up to me and showed me which direction they were going in, to go home.
They then amazingly offered to drop me off at a Hotel.
By now it was almost 4 so I accepted happily.
I remembered the Roadside Hotel and how they had been so kind as to get the elderly couple to return the maps I had purposefully left behind. Also – the Hotel had been happy to drive me to Temple 11.
The couple drove me for what seemed embarrassingly like miles, that were, I’m sure, completely out of their way.
We finally got there, I jumped out and said profuse thank yous and went into the Hotel.
The same zero English, smiling Kitty woman came out and she had given me a key before I could even ask.
I had paid, arranged breakfasto and a ride to the Temple and was in my room less than 10 minutes after walking in the door.
Research and Request
May 22 cont...
I felt quite fresh still but hungry so I got changed and went for a walk. I needed to buy another book and some food for tomorrow as well as dinner.
Luckily I was in a really commercial area and soon found a large supermarket. I got the book, a quarter of a water melon, some Pringles and had got a little noodle salad at a convenience store earlier on my walk.
I dawdled back to the Hotel with my walkman on, eating my Pringles feeling like all was going to be ok afterall.
When I got back, the lady said excitedly Internetto!!, indicating to a corner of the dining area where I sat happily for the next hour.
I'd always loved incense and wanted to find a way of learning about the making of it here in Japan. I googled incense makers or masters. I found a link to an American man so sent an email asking him if he knew of anywhere in Japan where I might be able to learn something.
Lastly I emailed RTN telling him about the Scroll drama and asking if he would mind giving me an advance on my wages to get it framed.
Fingers crossed in all directions.
I felt quite fresh still but hungry so I got changed and went for a walk. I needed to buy another book and some food for tomorrow as well as dinner.
Luckily I was in a really commercial area and soon found a large supermarket. I got the book, a quarter of a water melon, some Pringles and had got a little noodle salad at a convenience store earlier on my walk.
I dawdled back to the Hotel with my walkman on, eating my Pringles feeling like all was going to be ok afterall.
When I got back, the lady said excitedly Internetto!!, indicating to a corner of the dining area where I sat happily for the next hour.
I'd always loved incense and wanted to find a way of learning about the making of it here in Japan. I googled incense makers or masters. I found a link to an American man so sent an email asking him if he knew of anywhere in Japan where I might be able to learn something.
Lastly I emailed RTN telling him about the Scroll drama and asking if he would mind giving me an advance on my wages to get it framed.
Fingers crossed in all directions.
Sparkling
May 22 cont...
I went up to my room and on the way I got a can of Premium White Peach Sparkling (didn’t say what) with 5% alcohol out of the vending machine by my room, and congratulated myself on how well that was going to go with the watermelon - strawberrys and champagne – Japanese style!
I wolfed it all down, stripped off then started writing.
Everyone is confused at why I’m having to do Temples 1 to 22 again and I’m having to explain over and over and I’m over it.
Temple 22 will be the real achievement.
Apart from Koya San, it will be the real end of the Pilgrimage and hopefully I’ll reach there tomorrow.
TEXTS…
EL to GLM: I’m OK now. After I blurted 2 you, I figured I was already at T1 & T2 was only 10 mins down the road so I may as well walk that far. Then I put my thumb out 2 hitch & an older, slightly batty but very kind couple picked me up & took me all the way 2 T10! So all is well in E land again. Good news – Chiharu is coming 2 Japan to have her baby so we will catch up 4 a few days… :-)
SMG to EL: You are a graduate coming back now as Master.
EL to SMG: Didn’t feel like it this morning. I felt sluggish, resentful & out of the loop but your words came back to me – I stopped hating it & chose another emotion & here I am – already half way (again)…
I went up to my room and on the way I got a can of Premium White Peach Sparkling (didn’t say what) with 5% alcohol out of the vending machine by my room, and congratulated myself on how well that was going to go with the watermelon - strawberrys and champagne – Japanese style!
I wolfed it all down, stripped off then started writing.
Everyone is confused at why I’m having to do Temples 1 to 22 again and I’m having to explain over and over and I’m over it.
Temple 22 will be the real achievement.
Apart from Koya San, it will be the real end of the Pilgrimage and hopefully I’ll reach there tomorrow.
TEXTS…
EL to GLM: I’m OK now. After I blurted 2 you, I figured I was already at T1 & T2 was only 10 mins down the road so I may as well walk that far. Then I put my thumb out 2 hitch & an older, slightly batty but very kind couple picked me up & took me all the way 2 T10! So all is well in E land again. Good news – Chiharu is coming 2 Japan to have her baby so we will catch up 4 a few days… :-)
SMG to EL: You are a graduate coming back now as Master.
EL to SMG: Didn’t feel like it this morning. I felt sluggish, resentful & out of the loop but your words came back to me – I stopped hating it & chose another emotion & here I am – already half way (again)…
Car Hopping
May 23 (2.63 walk, 131km drive)
As I was having breakfast, another Henro woman was too. She didn’t speak any English so we just kept our heads down and ate.
The Smiling Lady said Ju Ichi Ban and indicated to the other woman. She was telling me that she was also going to Temple 11 and that she had arranged for me to go with her if I wanted. I said Arigato then the other Henro went to her room to pack.
I already had my bag ready with me so I quickly checked my emails. I was pleased to see mail from David Ollen, the Incense link, who gave me some very good advice and an address and name of a Master in Osaka.
Yay!
I wasn’t sure if it would lead to anything but I felt good that I had a potential option for when I finished the Pilgrimage.
My Henro Guido came down and we went out to the carpark to her little van. I found out she was only going as far as Temple 21 today but I thought I could figure out what to do to get to Temple 22 later in the day.
As she was rearranging her car for me, another Henro woman who I recognized from the day before also came out and was loading her car up beside us. I asked her how far she was going today. She said in halted English Temple 22. My eyes lit up and I asked if she would mind if I tagged along with her. She said she would like that.
I then had to explain to The Lady and the other Henro woman that I would go with Mayumi San so I could get to Temple 22 today. The Henro woman wasn’t fazed and just shrugged her shoulders but The Lady looked confused but didn’t have the English for clarity so just waved bemused as we all left.
Mayumi San was a happy cheerful person and I could tell we were going to have a great time. She also had GPS, so I knew I could relax too. I settled back feeling very cho psycho (sp? A phrase Makoto San had taught me that loosely meant very happy!)
As I was having breakfast, another Henro woman was too. She didn’t speak any English so we just kept our heads down and ate.
The Smiling Lady said Ju Ichi Ban and indicated to the other woman. She was telling me that she was also going to Temple 11 and that she had arranged for me to go with her if I wanted. I said Arigato then the other Henro went to her room to pack.
I already had my bag ready with me so I quickly checked my emails. I was pleased to see mail from David Ollen, the Incense link, who gave me some very good advice and an address and name of a Master in Osaka.
Yay!
I wasn’t sure if it would lead to anything but I felt good that I had a potential option for when I finished the Pilgrimage.
My Henro Guido came down and we went out to the carpark to her little van. I found out she was only going as far as Temple 21 today but I thought I could figure out what to do to get to Temple 22 later in the day.
As she was rearranging her car for me, another Henro woman who I recognized from the day before also came out and was loading her car up beside us. I asked her how far she was going today. She said in halted English Temple 22. My eyes lit up and I asked if she would mind if I tagged along with her. She said she would like that.
I then had to explain to The Lady and the other Henro woman that I would go with Mayumi San so I could get to Temple 22 today. The Henro woman wasn’t fazed and just shrugged her shoulders but The Lady looked confused but didn’t have the English for clarity so just waved bemused as we all left.
Mayumi San was a happy cheerful person and I could tell we were going to have a great time. She also had GPS, so I knew I could relax too. I settled back feeling very cho psycho (sp? A phrase Makoto San had taught me that loosely meant very happy!)
Yet Another Wrong Move
May 23 cont...
Suddenly I sensed something was wrong. I remembered that last time, the Hotel man had driven the opposite way from the direction we were driving now. I turned to Mayumi San and said Oh no! Have you already been to Temple 11? She said Yes, that she had done it yesterday afternoon before coming to the Hotel.
DAMN!!
No wonder The Lady looked confused. She obviously knew which way Mayumi San was going and my language barrier had got me in trouble yet again!
I was sooo angry with myself and tried to discretely hide my tears of frustration and disappointment from Mayumi San as we got further and further away from where I should have been going. The back track I was going to have to do tomorrow was going to be huge!
I had to let it go and stay positive for Mayumi San’s sake. This was her special journey too and I didn’t want to bring her down, or make her feel bad because of my own stupidity.
Suddenly I sensed something was wrong. I remembered that last time, the Hotel man had driven the opposite way from the direction we were driving now. I turned to Mayumi San and said Oh no! Have you already been to Temple 11? She said Yes, that she had done it yesterday afternoon before coming to the Hotel.
DAMN!!
No wonder The Lady looked confused. She obviously knew which way Mayumi San was going and my language barrier had got me in trouble yet again!
I was sooo angry with myself and tried to discretely hide my tears of frustration and disappointment from Mayumi San as we got further and further away from where I should have been going. The back track I was going to have to do tomorrow was going to be huge!
I had to let it go and stay positive for Mayumi San’s sake. This was her special journey too and I didn’t want to bring her down, or make her feel bad because of my own stupidity.
Welcome Familiarity
May 23 cont...
The delightful Mayumi San
It didn’t take long to realize that I really liked Mayumi San’s sense of humour and her taste in music. We were laughing and singing out loud in minutes.
As usual, when we got to the Temples, my process was twice as fast as Mayumi San’s but I was relieved to see that she didn’t feel rushed or pressured and did all that she needed to do and I got to relax, take in the Temples and wander around streets briefly, stopping for snacks and drinks.
Around lunch time, Mayumi San asked me what I liked to eat. I said anything, Udon etc. She asked if I would like Udon for lunch and I repeated again – anything. She bought up restaurants on her GPS and we started heading toward a restaurant but I realized that I had eaten Udon the day before and felt like McDonalds. When I told her, she was relieved and excited, and there was a McDonalds just coming up in front of us.
It was heartwarming to recognize so many streets and roads, remembering the last time I was walking them and with each of my companions and Guido’s. The flavour had changed slightly this time around but I was still (now) enjoying it.
The delightful Mayumi SanIt didn’t take long to realize that I really liked Mayumi San’s sense of humour and her taste in music. We were laughing and singing out loud in minutes.
As usual, when we got to the Temples, my process was twice as fast as Mayumi San’s but I was relieved to see that she didn’t feel rushed or pressured and did all that she needed to do and I got to relax, take in the Temples and wander around streets briefly, stopping for snacks and drinks.
Around lunch time, Mayumi San asked me what I liked to eat. I said anything, Udon etc. She asked if I would like Udon for lunch and I repeated again – anything. She bought up restaurants on her GPS and we started heading toward a restaurant but I realized that I had eaten Udon the day before and felt like McDonalds. When I told her, she was relieved and excited, and there was a McDonalds just coming up in front of us.
It was heartwarming to recognize so many streets and roads, remembering the last time I was walking them and with each of my companions and Guido’s. The flavour had changed slightly this time around but I was still (now) enjoying it.
Mayumi San & Makoto San Up A Tree - T12 to 21 again
May 23 cont...
The 'Tree Tower' at Temple 12
Not even a fraction of its width
The 'Tree Tower' at Temple 12
Not even a fraction of its width
I was amazed as we drove, just how far and how high I (we) had walked last time. No wonder I was shattered at the end of each day!
We ended the day with the Gondola ride at Temple 21 but this time both ways. We had already realized we weren’t going to make it to Temple 22 after all so Mayumi San offered to book us into somewhere together.
As she was making the phone call, the other Henro woman turned up. She was staying at the Gondola Hotel. We said quick hello’s then left for our own accommodation.
I was very aware that this was my last official Henro In Shikoku night. Tomorrow I would do Temple 22, say goodbye to Mayumi San, somehow get to Temple 11 then leave the Island.
I was a little afraid of having no plan and wasting money trying to force one but at least I had a lead to follow on the Incense trail.
Mayumi San went and had a bath and I wrote.
When she got back, we drove to the nearest Lawson and got dinner, including dessert and drinks.
We went back to the Ryokan and had an impromptu party. All day we laughed and by that night, we were on a roll! It reminded me of the fun I had with Makoto San at Mamasans Little Mermaid guest house.
In fact, Mayumi San reminded me a lot of Makoto San, her sense of humour was similar and Makoto San would say I want Girlfriend – I don’t have Girlfriend!
Mayumi San said a couple of times that she wanted a Boyfriend.
I told her about Makoto San and she said she would like to meet him. I showed her a picture and video I had on my phone of him.
I wondered if Kobo Daishi was a match maker too? I hoped so!
I finished my drink and felt tired. I knew everyone would be finished in the bathroom by now so I said good night to Mayumi San, shut the screen between our rooms, changed into my Yukata and went to the bathroom.
There was only one other woman there. We spoke only briefly then I went to bed.
We ended the day with the Gondola ride at Temple 21 but this time both ways. We had already realized we weren’t going to make it to Temple 22 after all so Mayumi San offered to book us into somewhere together.
As she was making the phone call, the other Henro woman turned up. She was staying at the Gondola Hotel. We said quick hello’s then left for our own accommodation.
I was very aware that this was my last official Henro In Shikoku night. Tomorrow I would do Temple 22, say goodbye to Mayumi San, somehow get to Temple 11 then leave the Island.
I was a little afraid of having no plan and wasting money trying to force one but at least I had a lead to follow on the Incense trail.
Mayumi San went and had a bath and I wrote.
When she got back, we drove to the nearest Lawson and got dinner, including dessert and drinks.
We went back to the Ryokan and had an impromptu party. All day we laughed and by that night, we were on a roll! It reminded me of the fun I had with Makoto San at Mamasans Little Mermaid guest house.
In fact, Mayumi San reminded me a lot of Makoto San, her sense of humour was similar and Makoto San would say I want Girlfriend – I don’t have Girlfriend!
Mayumi San said a couple of times that she wanted a Boyfriend.
I told her about Makoto San and she said she would like to meet him. I showed her a picture and video I had on my phone of him.
I wondered if Kobo Daishi was a match maker too? I hoped so!
I finished my drink and felt tired. I knew everyone would be finished in the bathroom by now so I said good night to Mayumi San, shut the screen between our rooms, changed into my Yukata and went to the bathroom.
There was only one other woman there. We spoke only briefly then I went to bed.
Bennie K and the Kitty - T22 again
May 24
After getting up and dressed at 6, Mayumi San and I had breakfast then left.
Bennie K was playing on the car stereo which seemed like a perfect start to the day.
We drove straight to Temple 22 and did our things.
Temple 22 bell
While Mayumi San was completing her process, I befriended and took a picture of a Temple kitten. I was adorable, even though it was clearly flea infested. I had found that I scared most domestic pets because, of course, I didn’t speak their language.
Mayumi San got a picture of her and I in front of Kobo Daishi, then she took me to the Train Station. My last sad Good bye.
I sat on the train with a trillion college students all posturing and preening. Teenagers! In Makoto Sans words – same world wide!
After getting up and dressed at 6, Mayumi San and I had breakfast then left.
Bennie K was playing on the car stereo which seemed like a perfect start to the day.
We drove straight to Temple 22 and did our things.
Temple 22 bell
Mayumi San got a picture of her and I in front of Kobo Daishi, then she took me to the Train Station. My last sad Good bye.I sat on the train with a trillion college students all posturing and preening. Teenagers! In Makoto Sans words – same world wide!
Exhilaration at Eleven - T11 again (Final Temple!)
May 24 cont...
Surprisingly, I found that I needed to return to Tokushima in order to catch a connecting train back to Temple 11 so I dumped my main bag at The Agnes and just wore my scroll, hat and white satchel on the train to the station near the Temple.
I felt light and relaxed so the walk to the Temple was an easy stroll in the sun – the opposite to what it was when Yahiro San and I walked back from it to the station a few weeks ago, which felt like it took forever and was torture.
At the Hondo I said my Gya Teis but at the Daishido I sang Amazing Grace. It felt like the right thing to do and summed up my experience. By the time I finished, there were a few Henro around but I didn’t let them affect this significant moment and they showed no judgment or surprise.
At the office, the Monk was cheerful and commented Last One!!
I walked out feeling exhilarated.
Once I got away from the main Temple area and back onto the road back to the station, I felt an urge to make a final video summing up how I felt.
I had done it!
In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt that I had written on the bottom of Yahiro Sans stick in this very village, I did the thing I thought I couldn’t do.
On an impulse, I left my Henro hat hanging on a tap by a door to a house. As I walked further along, a man stopped me to tell me I had forgotten my hat. I cheerfully said Hai! and kept walking – mentally skipping.
Surprisingly, I found that I needed to return to Tokushima in order to catch a connecting train back to Temple 11 so I dumped my main bag at The Agnes and just wore my scroll, hat and white satchel on the train to the station near the Temple.
I felt light and relaxed so the walk to the Temple was an easy stroll in the sun – the opposite to what it was when Yahiro San and I walked back from it to the station a few weeks ago, which felt like it took forever and was torture.
At the Hondo I said my Gya Teis but at the Daishido I sang Amazing Grace. It felt like the right thing to do and summed up my experience. By the time I finished, there were a few Henro around but I didn’t let them affect this significant moment and they showed no judgment or surprise.
At the office, the Monk was cheerful and commented Last One!!
I walked out feeling exhilarated.
Once I got away from the main Temple area and back onto the road back to the station, I felt an urge to make a final video summing up how I felt.
I had done it!
In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt that I had written on the bottom of Yahiro Sans stick in this very village, I did the thing I thought I couldn’t do.
On an impulse, I left my Henro hat hanging on a tap by a door to a house. As I walked further along, a man stopped me to tell me I had forgotten my hat. I cheerfully said Hai! and kept walking – mentally skipping.
Done But Not Dusted Yet
May 24 cont...
I knew the Train was about to leave so I ran to the Station. For the first time since I have been here (apart from ignorance of Platform 1 and Tokushima Station) I missed the train.
I had 20 minutes until the next one, so I wandered back up the street looking for Udon. No luck.
I went into the Café where Yahiro San and I shared our last coffee and cake together but was a little confused at what was available. The Café lady was obviously busy and I was aware that my time was limited so I said Arigato, Sumimasen and left again.
At the Station, I went to the bathroom then as I came out, the lady from the Café frantically rushed up to me, encouraging me to come back. I explained to her that I didn’t have time now but thank you anyway. She finally understood and said good bye to me. I got my ticket, went over to my Platform and sat down to wait.
I was doing something on my mobile phone when I became aware of someone approaching me. I looked up to see the lady from the Café! She had gone back and returned with the most heavenly cobs of hot buttered corn.
For the thousandth time, I was speechless with appreciation and after she had gone, I had to remind myself to breathe between each mouthful.
I knew the Train was about to leave so I ran to the Station. For the first time since I have been here (apart from ignorance of Platform 1 and Tokushima Station) I missed the train.
I had 20 minutes until the next one, so I wandered back up the street looking for Udon. No luck.
I went into the Café where Yahiro San and I shared our last coffee and cake together but was a little confused at what was available. The Café lady was obviously busy and I was aware that my time was limited so I said Arigato, Sumimasen and left again.
At the Station, I went to the bathroom then as I came out, the lady from the Café frantically rushed up to me, encouraging me to come back. I explained to her that I didn’t have time now but thank you anyway. She finally understood and said good bye to me. I got my ticket, went over to my Platform and sat down to wait.
I was doing something on my mobile phone when I became aware of someone approaching me. I looked up to see the lady from the Café! She had gone back and returned with the most heavenly cobs of hot buttered corn.
For the thousandth time, I was speechless with appreciation and after she had gone, I had to remind myself to breathe between each mouthful.
Leaving Shikoku
May 24 cont...
I got back to Tokushima, collected my bags, said goodbye and heartfelt thank yous to Takashi San and left for the final time. I had paid for that night in advance but figured that The Agnes and Takashi San had gone above and beyond their call of what could be expected from them on behalf of accommodating me, my baggage and parcels over the past month so I left without asking Takashi San for a refund.
I quickly went up to TOPIA to see if Claire San was there but she wasn’t so I bought a bus ticket for Osaka and went to the Platform to wait.
I had half an hour so I dragged out the contact details for the Youth Hostel I had stayed at at Shin Osaka and made a reservation.
Sorted!
I then quickly ducked into a nearby CD store and bought Bennie K as a momento of Mayumi San and the last days of my trip.
Apart from briefly going over bridges, it seemed we were perpetually driving through huge cities that seemed actually just one continuous city for 4 hours.
I enjoyed the familiarity of arriving back at Osaka Station, knowing where to go and what to do.
I carried on to Shin Osaka Station then onto the Hostel.
I booked in then went to my room.
I got back to Tokushima, collected my bags, said goodbye and heartfelt thank yous to Takashi San and left for the final time. I had paid for that night in advance but figured that The Agnes and Takashi San had gone above and beyond their call of what could be expected from them on behalf of accommodating me, my baggage and parcels over the past month so I left without asking Takashi San for a refund.
I quickly went up to TOPIA to see if Claire San was there but she wasn’t so I bought a bus ticket for Osaka and went to the Platform to wait.
I had half an hour so I dragged out the contact details for the Youth Hostel I had stayed at at Shin Osaka and made a reservation.
Sorted!
I then quickly ducked into a nearby CD store and bought Bennie K as a momento of Mayumi San and the last days of my trip.
Apart from briefly going over bridges, it seemed we were perpetually driving through huge cities that seemed actually just one continuous city for 4 hours.
I enjoyed the familiarity of arriving back at Osaka Station, knowing where to go and what to do.
I carried on to Shin Osaka Station then onto the Hostel.
I booked in then went to my room.
Looking Over The Edge
May 24 cont...
The feelings that were coursing through me were surreal - as if I was someone else watching me. The outrageous adventures (that I dearly crave a year to fill out and give meaning, feeling and texture) already seemed like last year, yet I still wasn't finished. My body was on hyper alert, knowing it had a few more days it had to function through.
Had I really done it?
Had I really been through all that I had in a little over three weeks, half a world away from my tiny country?
How did this happen?
Having inherited a tendency to dream, it was almost frightening to have lived and breathed reality and I now knew it was fortunate that I didn't have time to relax or think too much about what I was doing - I feel sure the self-sabotage that threatened a few times would have won, and I would have returned to an unrequited life that might not have been able to accomodate even dreams any longer.
The magnitude of the very thing I set out to do, to achieve something outrageous in order to believe in myself, was starting to sink in and make my breath shallow and short. Now I had no excuses. Not only that, because I had been so open about why I had been doing it, now there were also expectations. What would I do next? How would this affect me and what profound effect was this going to have on my future?
The feeling was similar to when my brother, The Saint, offered to support me once when I had an exciting business concept that I had sold to everyone including myself, but had used the excuse that I didn't have the money to go ahead with it. When he set up and automatic payment of way-more-than-enough money to go into my account every week, suddenly I was faced with having to go through with my brilliant idea.
I remember getting off the phone from him, feeling elated like I had won Lotto then saying Oh Fuck! What do I do NOW?!
Obviously my subconscious knew I wasn't ready to make one of my zillion dreams a reality and the same week I was to open my business, I got offered the job at the Film Company and was able to be financially responsible for myself again.
What if I went home and did nothing more?
What if my strength and new found realisations about myself went beige and faded away?
What if I was presented with something bigger than the Pilgrimage?
Come to the edge he said
They said - we are afraid
Come to the edge he said
They did
He pushed them
And they flew...
Guillaime Appolonairre
And what if what I had done worked only in alienating me from my surreality at home? Not fitting here but no longer fitting there?
I was reminded of something I read a few years ago written by Joe Jaworski...
“Finally, the quest accomplished, we return with the elixir for the restoration of society. It is difficult to leave the bliss of the final stages of the journey, a state of high adventure, to return to the long forgotten place from which we first came, where people who are fractions of themselves, imagine themselves to be complete. Upon returning, it is hard to take the return blow of reasonable queries, hard resentment, and good people at a loss to comprehend. And we are returning only to prepare to journey forth once more”.
All I knew at this stage was that despite all my proficient and effective self sabotage mastery, I had completed what I set out to do despite myself and, right now, I had to remain focussed on tying up the remaining threads before I could fall apart and unravel if that was what my body demanded to compensate for going against everything I had so carefully trained it to do...
The feelings that were coursing through me were surreal - as if I was someone else watching me. The outrageous adventures (that I dearly crave a year to fill out and give meaning, feeling and texture) already seemed like last year, yet I still wasn't finished. My body was on hyper alert, knowing it had a few more days it had to function through.
Had I really done it?
Had I really been through all that I had in a little over three weeks, half a world away from my tiny country?
How did this happen?
Having inherited a tendency to dream, it was almost frightening to have lived and breathed reality and I now knew it was fortunate that I didn't have time to relax or think too much about what I was doing - I feel sure the self-sabotage that threatened a few times would have won, and I would have returned to an unrequited life that might not have been able to accomodate even dreams any longer.
The magnitude of the very thing I set out to do, to achieve something outrageous in order to believe in myself, was starting to sink in and make my breath shallow and short. Now I had no excuses. Not only that, because I had been so open about why I had been doing it, now there were also expectations. What would I do next? How would this affect me and what profound effect was this going to have on my future?
The feeling was similar to when my brother, The Saint, offered to support me once when I had an exciting business concept that I had sold to everyone including myself, but had used the excuse that I didn't have the money to go ahead with it. When he set up and automatic payment of way-more-than-enough money to go into my account every week, suddenly I was faced with having to go through with my brilliant idea.
I remember getting off the phone from him, feeling elated like I had won Lotto then saying Oh Fuck! What do I do NOW?!
Obviously my subconscious knew I wasn't ready to make one of my zillion dreams a reality and the same week I was to open my business, I got offered the job at the Film Company and was able to be financially responsible for myself again.
What if I went home and did nothing more?
What if my strength and new found realisations about myself went beige and faded away?
What if I was presented with something bigger than the Pilgrimage?
Come to the edge he said
They said - we are afraid
Come to the edge he said
They did
He pushed them
And they flew...
Guillaime Appolonairre
And what if what I had done worked only in alienating me from my surreality at home? Not fitting here but no longer fitting there?
I was reminded of something I read a few years ago written by Joe Jaworski...
“Finally, the quest accomplished, we return with the elixir for the restoration of society. It is difficult to leave the bliss of the final stages of the journey, a state of high adventure, to return to the long forgotten place from which we first came, where people who are fractions of themselves, imagine themselves to be complete. Upon returning, it is hard to take the return blow of reasonable queries, hard resentment, and good people at a loss to comprehend. And we are returning only to prepare to journey forth once more”.
Syncronicity – The Inner Path of Leadership - Page 120
All I knew at this stage was that despite all my proficient and effective self sabotage mastery, I had completed what I set out to do despite myself and, right now, I had to remain focussed on tying up the remaining threads before I could fall apart and unravel if that was what my body demanded to compensate for going against everything I had so carefully trained it to do...
Acknowledgement - Koya San
May 25
I made my way to Koyasan yet again, getting off the bus and walking briskly to Kobo Daishi's resting place. On the way, I stopped and got the final stamp. From previous experience, I knew not to expect any reaction.
I went around the back way to Kobo Daishi's mausoleum and paid for two bundles of incense and two candles. I lit them and placed them on either side of him and said thank you to everyone I could think of who had helped me over the past two years to get here.
I then sat back and ate half a rice cake and had a long drink of Aquarius. I put the remainder of the food and drink on the offering alter - my last Kai with KD!
I quietly sung one verse of Amazing Grace, said a last Gya Tei and left, waving as I rounded the corner. There were the usual hordes of tourists, worshippers, businessmen and I weaved my way between them back to the path with my completed scroll on my back, like a quiver of arrows. By now I just wanted to get away from it all. If the place had been deserted, I might have rolled around in it but my achievement felt diluted by the commercialism.
As I walked quickly along the path, tears were streaming down my face. A group were coming toward me - yet another bus Henro tour party - all kitted out in their new garb including packet creases and the bright eyes of a new adventure. With them was the usual monk. As we approached each other, the monk looked deep into my bloodshot swollen eyes, slowed and with a knowing smile, bowed his head deeply and reverently.
He knew.
Without realising I needed something I had just got it.
Still with tears and taking quick breaths through a tight throat, I left the grounds, then Koyasan, content.
I made my way to Koyasan yet again, getting off the bus and walking briskly to Kobo Daishi's resting place. On the way, I stopped and got the final stamp. From previous experience, I knew not to expect any reaction.
I went around the back way to Kobo Daishi's mausoleum and paid for two bundles of incense and two candles. I lit them and placed them on either side of him and said thank you to everyone I could think of who had helped me over the past two years to get here.I then sat back and ate half a rice cake and had a long drink of Aquarius. I put the remainder of the food and drink on the offering alter - my last Kai with KD!
I quietly sung one verse of Amazing Grace, said a last Gya Tei and left, waving as I rounded the corner. There were the usual hordes of tourists, worshippers, businessmen and I weaved my way between them back to the path with my completed scroll on my back, like a quiver of arrows. By now I just wanted to get away from it all. If the place had been deserted, I might have rolled around in it but my achievement felt diluted by the commercialism.
As I walked quickly along the path, tears were streaming down my face. A group were coming toward me - yet another bus Henro tour party - all kitted out in their new garb including packet creases and the bright eyes of a new adventure. With them was the usual monk. As we approached each other, the monk looked deep into my bloodshot swollen eyes, slowed and with a knowing smile, bowed his head deeply and reverently.
He knew.
Without realising I needed something I had just got it.
Still with tears and taking quick breaths through a tight throat, I left the grounds, then Koyasan, content.
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