Gaijin Henro

Belief 101

2006-09-17T01:00:00.000+12:00

Journal Entry - Dec 03, 2005

I don’t believe in myself.

I first became conscious of this a few years ago when I had nowhere to live for 9 months except my office. I slept under my desk at an angle to avoid the security guards flashlight through my reception window and had to sprint down the hall in my pyjamas and lock the women’s bathroom door to take a shower.
I wrote There is nothing more disheartening than to not believe in something and soul destroying when that something is you.

The last time I needed to believe in myself was when I left my family. I’d had a long history of suicidal depression and knew I had to leave (and sort myself out) or I would die.

When we were on holiday in the South Island, on the last day, in Nelson, I announced that I was going to do something I’d wanted to do ever since I was 6 years old – a skydive. I was nervous when I made the phone call but everything from that moment felt like a dream. It felt so good and right that even after I was back on ground I floated for weeks.
Upon reflection, it occurred to me that not everyone could do what I’d just done, so maybe I could do, well, anything!
Not long after we returned, I moved out of the family home.
My (ex) husband wrote in a card I would rather have an alive best friend than a dead wife and let me go gracefully.
Not everyone was so understanding and I was ostracised from all our friends and the groups I belonged to for leaving my children.
Back then there seemed to be a lot of good reasons for doubt in myself.

Now there are none.
I’ve overcome drug, alcohol and gambling addictions, depression, an obsessive compulsive disorder and potential bankruptcy, all on my own and now I am mentally, emotionally and financially sound, and spiritually strong.

So now feels like the right time to start the Belief Assignment, therefore, I've taken a Kong sized leap of faith and paid for tickets to Japan next year.
On the 28th of April, I fly to Japan and start a two month, 88 temple, 1200km pilgrimage around the island of Shikoku.
Walking.
By myself.
When I told my boss about it he said “It sounds like it might be one of the most important things you ever do in your life, so take whatever time you need to finish it”.

The support and encouragement I have received so far is overwhelming and I started secretly fantasising that I might even be able to do it - which stopped abruptly tonight when I worked out my budget.
Let’s just say I will have only slightly more Yen than sense...

The Saint...

2006-09-17T00:30:00.000+12:00

So I saved all the money I could, a few friends and family gave me contributions and off I set.

In the week before I left I kept thinking 'What the feck have I got myself into?' The reality of walking 1200 kms, by myself, in a foreign country hit home with a whumpf - you know that falling feeling in dreams?

My brother, whom I will always think of as The Saint, came with me to Christchurch 10 days before I left and paid for me to have Lasik Eye Surgery.

It really is a miracle procedure. Not only was it painless but I could see even as I got off the operating table and could only wonder at why I didn't get it done sooner.
Of course I knew why I didn't get it done sooner! Fear of having my eyeballs sliced and scraped by a strange man in a green paper suit.

Now I say to anyone who shows interest - You haven't got a moment to lose!

The Saint and my New Eyes the day after the transformation...

____________________________________________

So my new eyes and I set off for our big adventure.

It was exciting until I got to Tokyo Train Station - then I felt like I hit a brick wall. At least in a country like Finland one can make out letters. In Japan everything is intelligible hieroglyphics!! I couldn't even work out where the bathrooms were, so, can you imagine me trying to get an any-vehicle-will-do ticket to Osaka?
Let’s just say on the third day I got a paralysing case of Culture Shock and I couldn't remember seeing that particular clause in my travel insurance. Luckily I had another form of insurance - contact with my family and friends. Through their texts and emails, I was able to stumble through the confusion and carry on.
From there things got manageable. I still got frustrated but only 10 times a day instead of a minute. I tried out different demographics to see who were the most probable English speakers and got slicker at getting help...
Writing this account might be the (second) most ludicrous thing I've ever done and I am sure to be misunderstood, misquoted or sued, so, even though there are many fantastic websites and blogs and books dedicated to the Pilgrimage, I felt it would be wrong of me not to share my experiences too,

But then, if I had read this, I might not have set off at all...

Pounamu (given to me by my dear friend Mike)

Pikoura - Friendship and Co-operation. Working together. Growth.

The harmonius interweaving of lives in family, relationships, and friendship.

Reassurance from One Who Knows

2006-09-16T09:00:00.002+12:00

April 9

-----Original Message-----
From: Eleanor Lefever-Tashcen
Sent: Sunday, April 09, 2006 12:50 AM
To: Dave Turkington (Shikoku Henro Trail.com)
Subject: Shikoku Pilgrimage

Greetings from New Zealand.
You must have almost finished your 2006 endeavour by now!
I am about to leave for Japan in 19 days to do the pilgrimage - its such a shame I won't be able to meet up with you - I imagine by then you will be having a well earned rest at home.

I have read numerous sites and pages on the pilgrimage but started to feel overwhelmed.
I decided to do the best I could with preparation and just let the rest unfold.

If you could give a naive probably-not-nearly-prepared-enough pilgrim one piece of advice before she leaves home - what would it be?

I look forward to reading your updated entries on your site...
Warmest regards
E

----- Original Message -----
From: Dave Turkington
To: Eleanor Lefever-Taschen
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 1:58 PM
Subject: RE: Shikoku Pilgrimage

Good to hear from you. Thanks for the message. Yes, i am now back home.

Once piece of advice? Hmmmm....... I think it would have to be two pieces.

1) Being unprepared means absolutely nothing. You are taking the best approach in my opinion - prepare the best you can and simply not worrying about what might happen after that. This is by far the best way to approach the walk. Let each minute, hour, kilometer, day, and week simply unfold as they happen.

2) Very much related to number 1 is to not go into this with many expectations. Live each encounter fully and enjoy everything and everyone you meet to the best of your ability. I found that the true pilgrimage is not related to the temples at all. The real heart of this trip is what happens to you as you walk the trail between the temples. Unfortunately i am stupid and heard headed so didn't learn this until after my first walk. This second time around is much, much more enjoyable and meaningful because i do see that now.

Enjoy yourself. Have a good time. Ignore the walking on concrete and cement. Ignore the rain. Ignore the traffic. Ignore the blisters. Greet everyone you see. Make thousands of friends.

I'd love to hear from you when you get back home.

Dave

-----Original Message-----
From: Eleanor Lefever-Taschen
Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2006 7:53 PM
To: Dave Turkington
Subject: Shikoku Pilgrimage

Oh Dave!
I don't know what I expected you to write but this is perfect and confirms what I had already decided. Upon training, I realised that it wasn't how far I went each day or how many hills I did, it was being able to put one step right after the last one - the mental aspect of walking - so I stopped using my pedometer and relaxed.
Thank you so much for your reply, and so soon after returning yourself.
I will certainly keep in touch.
Warmest regards and thanks again...
E

Regrets I Have

2006-09-16T08:00:00.002+12:00

Travel start eve - April 28

1: That I didn't go to the doctor the minute I got a strep throat last week

Now it's the morning of the first day of travel. I'm coughing so much I've given up on sleep. My chest cavity feels like an Antique Nut Cracker and my throat feels like a funny bone.
Each day I hope for signs that I've turned a corner but the only corner is the one I've backed myself into and the window for seeing my own doctor has shut.
The worst though, is not how it is for me, but how irritating I am to be around. Over the next 15 hours I'm going to be surrounded by people who'll be forced to endure my cough and germs and I won't know how to say 'Please put me out of our misery' in Japanese.

2: That I didn't do more in depth research into what things cost

I have no idea whether a train trip is going to cost me ￥1,000 or ￥10,000. I don't know how much food or accomodation costs. I researched it so long ago I've forgotten.
I have a meagre budget of ￥32,000 per week - roughly ￥5,000 ($75 NZD) per day. I seem to remember that a modest room in backpacker style alone is around that much. I had been looking forward to eating food at some stage.

3: That I didn't buy the very shoes I'm wearing 3 months ago when I first tried them on

I have blisters already. The shoes are miles away from being broken in, from even being comfortable. My boss shared his 'number 8 wire' tramping trick of using Gaffer Tape on rubbed places to prevent blisters.
I'm counting on this working.

4: That I didn't make better use of the time I had in the last month

This past week I've been getting to bed no sooner than 2am then getting little sleep because of coughing. As I write this I'm constantly faint.
Although my four jobs are up to date, I've left only crutches at three of them without the instructions how to use them. I'll walk back into chaos and no-one will be accountable but me...

What I Got Right

2006-09-16T07:00:00.002+12:00

Travel start eve cont - April 28

1: Having the courage to do a high dive by braille out of my comfort zone

2: Getting a mobile phone that was patented by James Bond

3: Keeping everyone more informed and organised than a concertina file

4: Not sparing expense with gear. A week ago I had enough for a day trip to the Wellington Zoo. Thanks to The Saint, I'm as fully equipped as my limited knowledge could anticipate

5: Seeing there were no Temples or Deities dedicated to either Abba or Trance therefore halving the contents of my backpack

6: Going to bed at 2am each morning in order to have a clear conscience

7: Stocking up on generous and caring friends and family

8: Having my health checked on long before I was ready to leave. My iron levels (and energy) have improved immeasurably and I'm reasonably fit. Didn't need teeth work - didn't need injections - didn't need tracking device implanted.

9: Getting all of my business affairs aligned. ie: New passport, license, bank card. And paying all bills three months in advance so I'll still have a months grace when I get back

10: Not giving up hope or faith, at any time over the past six months, that I'm meant to be doing this for reasons more profound than I'm consciously aware of

TEXT...

SMG to EL:

Go girl, a big(ger) adventure has started. And also a constant stream of minutes each of which you'll remember for the rest of your life, that have real meaning - unlike the forgetful minutes and hours we will continue to sleepwalk through.

Navigating my way out of the country

2006-09-16T04:00:00.003+12:00

April 28

I only managed to get on the first plane through a constant stream of synchronicity - some would say miracles.
It started from when RTN told me to confirm my bookings. Even though it was typed as clearly as a neon EXIT sign on the top of my itinerary, I hadn't seen it.

Then, at the airport, Virginia pointed out that my plane had final boarding RIGHT NOW! There were no departure calls.
When did they stop having departure calls?
If they had got together at that point, I feel confident a scene from a movie would have followed where they casually swap affectionate stories – RTN having to remind me to confirm my bookings and Virginia having to point out my final departure, a zoom in would show their eyes suddenly bulging at the same time as they realise that there was a serious risk of E never coming back then both sprinting down the departure lounge yelling 'STOP - that woman shouldn't have been allowed to leave her bedroom!!'

I still suspect Customs were tipped off because they couldn’t seem to get rid of me quick enough and I was in Papeete before I had even worked out where to plug in the headphones.

My 5 planets in Virgo will never accept that sniffing's OK!

2006-09-16T03:00:00.002+12:00

April 28 cont

I was one of about 5 gaijin (foreigners) on the connecting flight from Papeete to Japan - all the rest were young Japanese couples.

Watching the interactions was insightful.

Everyone was extremely quiet - couples whispering discretely to each other. No raised voices or laughter.

All the couples seemed to have a 'best friends' kind of body language. The men seemed to be very attentive and engaged in their partners, but then, I didn't know what kind of 'holiday' they'd just had (wink wink).

There was no cross interaction, however, with fellow travellers. Maybe they'd just spent 2 weeks all on the same package deal and couldn't stand each other - I'd been there before.

And I noticed numerous people sniffing - loud and often. I thought it might have been the altitude and stale cabin air because I was needing to blow my nose often too.

Later when I was studying the Lonely Planet - I read that it was socially unacceptable to blow ones nose in public - that it was preferable to sniff until being able to go to the bathroom...

Escaping Narita

2006-09-16T02:00:00.003+12:00

April 29

NTS (note to self): Airlines give out life savingly useful items such as circulation cutting polyester socks and eyeshades but not sanity preservingly essentials like TOOTHPASTE or TOOTHBRUSH!! Don't forget to pack for return flight!

At customs, the man didn't like the answer 'Pilgrimage' I gave to the question "What is the reason for your visit to Japan?".
He also didn't like my cell phone number and gruffly told me to change the form - over there.
Luckily I had Chiharu's sister, Naomi's, Tokyo cell phone number.
Upon returning and nervously showing him the altered form, he said cheerfully "Oh - that's nice!" taking his hand away from the holster on his belt to wave me through.

Luckily a lovely bear of a Kiwi guy and his Japanese wife, Sue, helped me navigate the remainder of customs. A GPS tracking device would have been the only other way to escape the Narita warren.
Sue then helped me get a bus into Tokyo.

It was amusing to watch her and the ticket girl talk animatedly for 5 minutes, with much pointing at brochures and 'ahsoing' then, with my vague look of '...and?' Sue would say something like 'Oh - that's ￥500'.
Then at the end of it all, when I had my ticket and platform number, the girl said goodbye (to Sue) in perfect English.

While waiting for the bus, I slipped into the bathroom and had a quick clean-up in the Wheelchair/Mothers toilet. Worked wonders for my state of mind, but I realised that the time it took and the strange noises I made - and lets not forget being a Gaijin with no hair when I finally did come out - were'nt going to make me a lot of friends that week.

"You are asked not to use portable phones on the bus as they annoy the neighbours".

Within 5 minutes of leaving the Bus Depot, I noticed that every second car was called Cedric. Whoever Cedric was, I hoped he was paying a tax for all the smog his name was creating.
I hadn't seen this amount of smog since Paris.

For someone who had the attention span of a jandal, I was ecstatic to find Japan stimulation heaven...

Tokyo Train Station Stimuli

2006-09-16T01:00:00.003+12:00

April 29 cont...

I got off the bus, put on the pack for first time and was instantly mortified as I swayed before getting my balance.

I could see the Tokyo Train Station (it was the size of a notsosmall city) but didn't know how to get across the 32 lane street to get to it. With a look that told me I wasn't the first to ask, the girl in the convenience store blandly pointed to the Underground that I had stepped over to get in the front door of the store.

I got to the train station to find a maze of row after row of sterile tiled floors and shops.

I finally asked an attendant where I could find a place to get bus tickets - he seemed to find pleasure (more because he didn't have to walk far to show me, than a passive-agressive power-trip) in pointing at the line right beside me.
I paid for an overnight trip to Osaka. It was going to be dark so I wasn't going to regret not seeing the countryside (which I was about to see more than enough of anyway) and I could sleep, saving money on accomodation.

When I had paid, I stood in bewilderment again. I felt like I was surrounded by a transparent brick wall - nothing made sense - no-one made sense and I literally froze. I forced myself to start walking and set off in a direction (they all looked the same).

I saw a bank of lockers and remembered reading about them in the Lonely Planet.
I found one the size of a caravan which was perfect for my pack, changed a note and shoved the change in the slot - quietly pleased with myself (of course I had to stand back discretely to watch how others did it first, keeping my hands out where everyone could see them so they didn't get nervous).

What a release!
How the feck was I going to lug that thing around for the next two months!!
I seriously considered enquiring whether they had Sherpa's in Japan.

Getting Connected

2006-09-15T23:00:00.002+12:00

April 29 cont...

Busting! Asked directions to bathroom - right in front of me.

No mobile phone reception! Asked directions to Vodafone store - 2 stores down.

All bad news at Vodafone.
Hara San did everything she could to get phone connected but couldn't. We tried to ring her New Zealand contact number but got Telecom!
I burst into tears.
The money The Saint paid and the trouble my boss went to to help me get global roaming - all a waste.
I decided to go back to my locker to get the contact number I had on my contract.

As soon as I put my key in, the counter zeroed so I had to pay another ￥400 once I got the Vodafone paperwork out.

Not gonna cry!
Not gonna have a tantrum!
Want to go home right now!

I took a deep breath then went back to the shop. We rang Vodafone New Zealand (with Hara San hurriedly updating her contact list) and I talked to HT (that was her name). She then talked to a nervous Hara San. HT said the contract hadn't been completed properly - which she was going to do right then - and that I would be connected in five minutes.

Hara San and I counted down those minutes then I encouraged her to do the honours.
She was really nervous - and then jubilant when it worked.
It was worth all the stress just to see the look of satisfaction and joy on her face.

Seating Arrangements

2006-09-15T22:00:00.002+12:00

April 29 cont

Nowhere in Tokyo Station could I find somewhere to sit (much less lie) down so I went to a faceless cafe. Luckily the plastic displays reminded me a bit too graphically of Cheech and Chongs 'Dogshit' so I saved a modest mortgage on food.

Lucky I didn't step in it...

Finally I found some odd seats, in the far corner of the station, consisting of two padded poles.
They were so high off the ground, everyone was swinging their legs. Was this to discourage loitering?
The people standing around looked a bit too eager for one of the sitters to unsit and I didn't have faith that the 3 seconds of Tai Chi I could remember was going to fend off any of them if I jumped the queue so I went back to what I had a blank belt in - Mindless Wandering...

TEXTS...

EL to SMG:

Tokyo could cause an addiction to Constant Stimulation! Dichotomies like being able to smoke inside but not outside, a distinquished looking older gentleman being escorted forcefully by 4 Police. The only seating at train station are two vinyl covered poles running horizontally-one behind back, the other under legs and about a metre off the ground-almost need a leg up! Sculptures everywhere and such aesthetic streets. Wish you could see it all!

SMG to EL:

So Tokyo is kinda like Palmerston North, or maybe Stratford?

Church of The Latter Day Starbucks

2006-09-15T21:00:00.003+12:00

April 29 cont...

I was surprised to come across a fantastic art exhibition. I talked to the artist, Ken, who was 57 and had clearly been having a nana nap.
He put his jacket on, straightened himself up then told me what some of the themes meant in his work.
After aisles and rows and lanes of eateries and department stores, he was a pleasant, somewhat entertaining, island.

I suddenly felt like Alice in Wonderland getting to big for the room and had to get out onto a street. Even though some of the streets had that toxic combustable-egg stench, like the canals in Italy when they get blocked off for maintenance - that smell, and smog, were still preferrable to the underground recycled air.

It was cooler, fresher and drizzling slightly as I wandered around, up and down alleyways and streets.

Seeing Starbucks suddenly in front of me was like seeing the welcoming open doors of a church on a rainy night, and through an admirable feat of restraint, I managed not to sprint through its doors, throwing my arms out shouting 'HALLELUJAH - PRAISE THE BARISTA!'.
I couldn't restrain myself any longer, however, when I saw the Honey Dispenser (I'm sure I embarass everyone at home with my insistence on having honey instead of sugar with my Soy Latte), and gushed severely all over the poor person who was trying to clean up that area. I could tell I was frightening her so I hurriedly apologised and sat down quietly to my coffee and started writing.

The Honey Dispenser in Starbucks now on my Wishlist

Going Back Into The Cave

2006-09-15T20:00:00.002+12:00

April 29 cont...

When I left Starbucks, I gave the boy back the pen I had borrowed off him to write, with ￥100. When I worked it out, I gave him about $1.50 which is probably why he tried to give it back.

I got lost trying to return to the train station - probably because I was going in the opposite direction. As it was, when I got back towards it, the construction site I thought was just opposite it (but decided there were probably 100 sites like it and walked past it) was the construction site opposite it.

When I got back underground I was stunned to instantly recognise where I was (beside the Vodafone store) and headed straight to the Sitting Poles.

When I was in the Vodafone store ealier, Hara San had a trainee guy who sat silently beside her, listening to and watching everything she said and did. When she got up and walked out the back, he followed. When she went to get a list from under the counter, he followed.
I was impressed with how focussed on her task she was because, if one couldn't see his physical form, one would never know he existed by the way she was able to ignore him.

When I walked back past tonight, I looked in and saw Hara San, walking through the shop with her shadow still following.
Was he really training or was he paying to trail her? I would have to ask Madam Mary how I could tell the difference.

Fair suck of the Sav mate!?

2006-09-15T19:00:00.002+12:00

April 29 cont...

The bus finally left, surprisingly with me on it.
I was so afraid my embarrassing lack of Japanese would help me only in missing it, that I sat at the stop for an hour.
Sat being the pleasant surprise - the one redeeming feature of having my pack so full was that I could sit on top of it comfortably.

I talked to a wonderful salt-of-the-earth Japanese Christian woman the same age as me. She had seen Lord of The Rings and loved the country side. She thought all the actors were Kiwis.

She said I had a Crocodile Dundee (Australian) accent. I asked her if that was why no-one seemed to understand me and looked at me blank, but she suggested, matter of factly, that it was more likely shock at my (lack of) hair.

Sleepers

2006-09-15T18:30:00.002+12:00

April 29 cont...

The bus was really a small Dormitory made for long distance travel. All the curtains were pulled when we got on. My seat reclined right back so I did what I saw others doing and looked back to the person behind me to indicate I was about to lie my head in their lap.
There was a little flap in the seat in front that one pulls down to put ones feet into in order to stretch out fully.
I discovered it helps to arrange the flap before reclining because I found myself in a contortionist manouvre Houdini might have seen as a profound revelation.
However, I needn't have wondered how much I could have charged for that show because everyone was asleep already.

It amazes me how Japanese can sleep so well while travelling. And that's from someone whose been known to sleep standing up in a phone box!

There was a young guy on the plane from Tahiti, who, I swear slept every waking second! He seemed to have a degree in Catatonia.
He went to the bathroom once, ate his meals efficiently with his eyes closed and slept.
And he seemed to be able to sleep at odd angles, with one foot in his shoe and the other one resting half in the other shoe.
The hostess even had to wake him (un-gently) to ask him to put his belt on for landing, which he did, then promptly fell asleep again.

The other thing I noticed on the bus was that not one person snored.
In fact, I could only hear one person even breathing and that was the elderly woman beside me, which was probably just as well.

Later in the night I felt I was safe in blowing my nose.

I'm Here, Really Here

2006-09-15T18:00:00.002+12:00

April 30

We had a strange stop around dawn.

The bus pulled into a parking lot and shut down for half an hour. I looked around to get clues but nobody said or did anything so I guessed that the driver was having a break and that I missed what it was all about through not being able to understand the novella length announcement when we left Tokyo (that everyone slept through).

Because I had slept the whole night, I was ready to roll and found myself being quite impatient and antsy pantsy so when we got going again, I unclipped the curtain and put it over my head so I could watch the countryside without letting light into the bus. It would have looked odd to any passing motorist but causing highway pile-ups was the risk I was prepared to take.

The houses so far were the sort you see in magazines - miles of them and I couldn't get tired of watching them go by. Some of them were grand and most of them were antiquated but all of them had that rustic look to them. Only occasionally there was a Western style house that stuck out like a Honda Civic parked in the middle of a row of Daimlers .
I didn't like to think what the piles were like though because most of the houses were surrounded, literally up to the front door, by rice paddies.

The other thing I noticed were the mountain ranges - like Lucy's Gully in my hometown - and I kept thinking with dread - I'm going to be climbing them soon. I remembered the one time I climbed Lucy's Gully. I only succeeded because I hadn't thought to bring a cell phone and the number for the Westpac Rescue Helicopter with me, so was forced to keep climbing till I came out the other end.

It was only now that it was surrealy sinking in - I was nowhere near Lucy's Gully - I was in Japan. I was actually here and really doing it!

A Fascination With Public Restrooms

2006-09-15T17:00:00.002+12:00

April 30 cont...

We arrived in Osaka about 7am.

I went up to the bus depot to ask about getting to Mt Koya but the depot was still shut so I went across the street into a shopping mall and found the Wheelchair Toilet. Being 8 hours away from Tokyo, I was fairly sure my mugshot hadn't yet been posted in bathrooms warning people of Strange Gaijin Behaviour in Public Toilets so I had another clean up, including clipping my hair, being meticulous in washing away the evidence.

The Wheelchair/Mothers Bathrooom Suite was something to behold and could have had an entry fee and guided tour!!
The seat was warm and there were buttons everywhere. There were cables, two basins, mirrors and other things I was too scared to push in case I got pinned down and shrink wrapped!

While waiting for the bus depot to open, I went to a cafe and ordered Iced Coffee thinking I would get a creamy cold coffee with icecream in it like we do at home, but I got exactly what I asked for - a coffee with ice in it.
It was undrinkable to me, even after adding sugar.

Maybe I was deluding myself but I noticed that everytime I put my pack on, my back seemed to resist less each time. Could it be accepting it and starting to make the pack a part of itself? I just hoped it had influence over my legs because they still buckled.

It was such a pleasure to have my eyesight - not having to bother with contacts or glasses - in or out or on, and being able to see signs.
If only I had thought to ask for the procedure that helps with translation of hyroglyphics.
The Christian lady had said I had beautiful eyes. I was chuffed for 5 seconds but, looking around, I could see there was an oversupply of Brown eyes and wondered how many other people knew about the black market demand for Gaijin Eyes.

I felt deja vu on the bus last night remembering back to when I travelled around the South Island of NZ, by myself, in the middle of winter. I don't know what triggered the deja vu - I did get a lot of stares of perverse fascination back then that clearly said 'Why would someone do such a stupid thing?!' and I was getting those same three-headed-freak-show looks all the time here too.

It took a while yesterday for my mind and body to click back into that 'on-to-it' mode again where I needed to constantly plan ahead and anticpate my needs and potential (probable!) problems etc.

I've done this.

I could do this.

The reality of walking would be more challenging than last time because last time I hitch hiked, and even though I had planned to hitch this time as well, cars couldn't take me up steps and mountain tracks!

So far, the clothes I'd bought with me had been perfect. Last night, outside the bus depot, the temperature would have been about 8-10 degrees and I was snug. I still had two layers I could have put on too.
My shoes were wearing in finally - and not an hour too soon.
Have I already said my Ice-Breaker was worth every cent my friends paid for it?!

I realised I had to make more of an effort to learn Japanese. Up till now I had been able to point to the phrase book (the author of the first Phrase Book deserved a Nobel!), but there is nothing worse than a Japanese person to feel shamed and when I pointed to 'What Station is this?' to the elderly (still breathing) woman beside me on the bus, she rested it on her nose and I was suddenly embarrassed to realise her eyesight was poor and she couldn't read it at all.

At the Bus Depot last night I was entertained by a constant catwalk of The Beautiful Girls. They really were beautiful, head to toe, extreme in their level of make-up and coiffure. Even the way they carried their bags was endearing with the straps resting in the crook of their arm and their hands facing up, like exotic waiters.
Almost every girl wore high heels of some sort, which I realised was why they linked arms when they walked together - they were holding each other up.

I tried not to worry about my cold. I'd been using Coldrex every 4-6 hours but when they wore off, I'd start coughing again and I could feel I'd damaged something to the right side of where my deuodenym was. In fact - that was the main reason I took the pills - I didn't know the Japanese for 'Don't worry - it's only my lung, I'll clean it up later'.

Narrowly Missing Missing Planes &Trains

2006-09-15T16:00:00.003+12:00

April 30 cont...

I hit the Virtual Brick Wall 2 or 3 times - and I hadn't even had lunch. My boss Tony knew the look I got and said I looked like a rabbit caught in headlights. I thought I looked more like a hyperventilating Goldfish. Yet each time I was able to find someone to show me (or in the case of the elderly Information Centre man, lead me rapidly) to the right place, platform, train etc.

At one point I was almost dizzy from doing circles on the spot, looking for any signs that I was even in the right station, much less on the right platform and was surprised to hear someone behind me say in perfect english 'Do you need help?'.
I turned around to find an older American gentleman (from Kansas) who helped me on to the train I needed. If he had promised to be my GPS till death did us part, I would have married him right then.

When I finally found the place to buy the ticket, I was able to get a return fare to Mount Koya including entry. After I bought the ticket, I wasn't sure if Nankai was the station I needed to return to or if I should have gone back to Osaka (turns out Nankai wasn't even a station but the name of the train company - so that was never going to work), or even if I was going to stay on Mount Koya.
When I talked to the Kansas Man, he said I could catch a train to Shikoku from the fifth floor of the building we were in. I definitely wouldn't have worked that one out!

Nobody told me Gotham City was a suberb of Osaka.

Masks

2006-09-15T15:00:00.001+12:00

There seemed to be a constant layer of smog.

I sat opposite a middle aged woman and her mother who were wearing paper masks. They weren't everywhere but weren't uncommon.
Yesterday I saw a tall handsome 30ish man and his pretty wife and children - the man was wearing a mask but no-one else was.

They're even acceptable to wear at work, in shops and hotels etc.
I couldn't help but wonder what other Japanese thought of those who chose to wear the masks.

In New Zealand we would have an increase in visits from friends and family, asking in Really Loud Voices, 'Are You OK Dear?'

The Information Centre - Koya San

2006-09-15T14:00:00.003+12:00

April 30 cont...

On the way to Kobo Daishi's Mausoleum on Koyasan

Off one train onto the other train, off that train onto the cablecar, off the cablecar onto the bus...

Koyasan (or Mount Koya) immediately reminded me of Queenstown. Exquisite but ohsomanyshops.

I realised later that I had arrived at the start of Golden Week, a public holiday, which explained the swarm of buzzing Japanese tourists.

I couldn't read the map or any signs so I had no idea where Kobo Daishi was and had to go by instinct. I got off at the last stop and yet again stood rotating on the spot like a dog chasing its tail, hoping to get clues.

I saw a kind looking gentleman and asked if he spoke English. He said the magic words 'A Little'. I asked him if he knew where the Information Centre was.

Just then he got distracted and waved frantically to a woman across the road.

I said 'Ah - your wife?'.

He nodded and said 'She speaks good English' with the relief of someone who just had a near miss with having to give a speech to fill in for the person who didn't show up.

Hiroki San and Yasu San

I spent the rest of the day with them.

Hiroki San was Japanese but spent 16 years in Canada and both Yasu San and Hiroki San were born in Shikoku and were teachers in Osaka.
Hiroki San was so knowledgeable because she came to Koyasan often with her family as she was growing up and seemed proud to be able to give us a guided tour (it was Yasu San's first time to Koyasan also) and I'm not sure if I would have found Kobo Daishi's resting place if not for her.

Hiroki San led us to one of the Temple offices.

At every Temple, once they have done their rituals, the Henro goes to the office to get the official Temple stamps and insignia, which is done in calligraphy over the stamps.

As we were waiting, the jubilant man in front of us unrolled a scroll with a picture in the middle of it and numerous stamps all around it. Hiroki San translated that this man had just got his last stamp. I said Congratulations, not really being sure what for, then asked Hiroki San if this was the same pilgrimage as the one I was about to do.

She said, No, it was another one.

Hiroki San asked the Monk at the Office if he had books for the pilgrimage for sale. He gave me a blue one and signed the front of it with a short prayer for the book then put the first stamps and insignia on it.

The first stamp - Koyasan

I had an odd sensation, when I paid for it, of being an imposter. That I was deceiving Hiroki and Yasu San's because I had never completed anything in my life and the feeling that I was merely appearing to set off on the pilgrimage were both familiar and hard to dismiss.

At that stage I had expected to go back to Namba then on to Shikoku but Hiroki San convinced me it would be better to stay on Koyasan and go to Shikoku the next day. She said they would help me find accomodation. I was tired and knew I needed all the help I could get so thanked them profusely.

Tombs in the Korean section of the Koyasan graveyard...

An Education

2006-09-15T13:45:00.002+12:00

April 30 cont...

Hiroki San was tireless.
She reminded me of my wonderful ex Mother in Law.

Unfortunately, Yasu San had just arrived back from a week in Portugel so was exhausted. Hiroki San took us to Temple after Temple, up and down stairs, up side paths etc. It was my first day with my impossible backpack on so I was also starting to buckle. It felt like Yasu San and I were two little children following a teacher that one wouldn't dare indicate discomfort to!

Koyasan's next generation of Monks

We kept seeing large groups of children in uniforms walk past. Apparently they were the children of the Temples and were learning to be monks.

I commented on the amount of streets and shops and she said it had always been like that, if not even moreso in Kobo Daishi's day and that it was what he had always wanted.

Hiroki San told us so much information I knew not to try to remember it all and later I realised I had got exactly what I had asked Yasu San for-

An Information Centre...

The Imposter

2006-09-15T13:30:00.003+12:00

April 30 cont...

The Temple that Hiroki San booked me into was just like you see in pictures. I felt a little intimidated and like an intruder but if, upon interrogation, I had to admit to only using Meditation to get some decent sleep, I didn't think I could run very far with my pack so I made myself walk through the gate.

A few monks met me at the door and if you could picture the worst Laurel and Hardy cliched comic skit titled What Not To Do When Entering A Temple, you could imagine what happened in the next 15 minutes. How I managed to take my shoes off, put on the slip-ons, check in and get shown to my room without having to pay a ￥75,000 bond will remain a secret to the Deities that were at dinner that night and felt sorry for me .

The feeling of relief to be in a room, where I could like down flat for the first time since I left New Zealand, was overwhelming. I never thought I would be so happy to feel like the christmas wrapping my Mother always meticulously flattened out to recycle.
I didn't care that I couldn't perceive any obvious formation that could be manifested into a bed and lay down immediately on the Tatami mats until a Monk told me it was time for my dinner.

I was shown to another room exactly the same as mine four doors down. Even though Kazu and Chiharu's restaurants are the reason I don't need food in my cupboard at home, I still found the three little tray/tables with lots of little bowls of indefinable food a mystery.
There was also a burner made of a little rock that was on fire with a metal net bowl on top of it, lined with some kind of paper and full of more food.
When I got there it was starting to boil but I didn't know how to turn the rock off. I had read too many stories of Temples burning down regularly and, still smarting from my Check-in fiasco, I felt sure the Deities would have split by now in anticipation of a busy night ahead.

I heard someone outside and jumped up quickly to see a Monk showing a young couple to their room next door. I intimated that I needed his help.
A minute later he came in and merely blew on the stone and the fire went out. Acting as if that's what all the Monks did for me at the hundreds of other Temples I had stayed at, I moved straight on to asking him what everything was.

Most of the contents of the broth that had been cooking were different varieties of fungi. In the other bowls were shredded seaweed, tofu, pickled vege's, rice, and orange and some cold battered deep fried slices (tempura) of green pepper, pumpkin and eggplant and a soup.

I tried to eat, or at least try, everything but I have never been able to eat Fungi and couldn't even look at the soup.
The soup had a substance that was too much like what my brother used to call Crab Snot when we were kids - a slimy green felt moss that grew on the concrete corrosion barriers by the sea. Great for running and skidding along in bare feet as children but dubious to injest orally.

I finished with two cups of green tea, dialled the Monk to say I was finished and went back to my room.

When I got there, a futon mattress had been laid on the floor which had a pillow and snug looking duvet on it.

First I put my flat cellphone on to charge then I evaluated my money situation.

I had never bragged about being a genius, however, even I could calculate that if I hadn't already paid for the return trip, I would've been sitting on the bumper of the Cable Car to get back down the mountain.

I started to feel a bit sick but kept my mind distracted the best way a Virgo knows how, by tidying up three days of hectic travel mess.

A Bath In A Teacup

2006-09-15T13:00:00.002+12:00

April 30 cont...

The bathroom at the end of the hall was 3 basins and a mens and womens toilet side by side. The womens had a traditional Japanese squat toilet and a western toilet. I was amazed that the latter was a heated whizzy one like the one in the Wheelchair bathroom the day before.

The bathing was downstairs and communal. I didn't feel up to that so I decided to have a sponge bath in my room.

My room consisted of a TV, phone, low square table with a duvet over it, then a table top on top and two cushions, a heater, water urn that had hot and cold options, a round bamboo box that had a tea set inside. One of the walls was screens. Another wall had a shrine area and, to the side of that, shelving . There was a small sunroom I could get to through more sliding screens. It had been a furnace earlier so I had left the screens shut however, it was cooler by now so I went in and pulled the curtains.

I made sure my passport and return tickets were hidden away deep in my pack because I knew the Monks would put me on the first plane back to New Zealand if they had seen me having a sponge bath out of a small bowl and a large tea cup while kneeling over the flannel sized towel! It felt kind of wrong and funny at the same time but I felt much better. I'm not sure if that was because of the notable reduction in travel grime or from giggling during the exercise to remove it.

Then it was all I could do to hold back the hysterics when, suddenly, I realised I had nowhere to rinse the dirty water!

I put on my Yukata , waited by the door and listened for people in the hall. Feeling like a naughty Nun, I shuffled discretely to the bathroom. It wasn't easy opening sliding doors, without spilling anything, with both hands full and walking in slip-ons that kept slipping off - but miraculously I did it without slopping, tripping or being sprung.

Before lying down to sleep, I put the heater on to dry my towel and flannel. I was very snug but during the night I had to turn it off. The air got too dry and the duvet was warm enough to camp in a mild snow storm...

TEXT...

EL to SW:

Your pack and I are staying in our first Temple on Mount Koya. Haven't had to wear it until today - I'm sure my body will get used to it soon. Shikoku tomorrow...

The Monkey

2006-09-15T12:00:00.002+12:00

May 1

I had set my alarm but was awake about 5:10am, 20 minutes before the alarm was due to go off. I had to lift the covers to check it was really me who was awake, voluntarily, at this time that was still too early to be called morning.
I quickly brushed my teeth in the basins at the end of the hall, then got dressed for the morning worship at 6:00.

Today felt like the official first day of my Pilgrimage and I planned to go back to Kobo Daishi to spend more time with him and ask his guidance on my Pilgrimage - which I hadn't got a chance to do the day before with Hiroki San The Whirlwind.
In honour of the reverence I felt, I put on my best clothes (the ones Madam Mary calls my 'Monkey' clothes) and went down to the service.

As soon as I walked in I became nauseous with the realisation how imposterous I must have looked. Me, with my clipped head in my Monk costume, quite clearly with no clue what was happening and what to do, next to some Japanese women who were dressed like tourists from Miami, bowing and offering and praying and chanting in a way I just knew they were taught in the womb from the moment of conception. I felt as out of place as if I was asked to burp Tupperware dressed in Dolce and Gabbana.

I sat down (I found it impossible to kneel like the Japanese did) but soon became distraught with fits of uncontrollable coughing - the very inappropriateness of them making them worse.
One of the ladies beside me compassionately rubbed my back and the spasms stopped for a while. (I realised it was the cloud of incense that was provoking them).

The Monks chanted in unison, which was captivating - when I could hear them.

It seemed to go on forever and I was doing all I could to control myself (tears of humiliation and outbursts of coughing) and just wanted to run away, and may have found an excuse to, if I thought my legs were still in the same room as me.

Finally a Monk said something and, one by one, everyone went up to an altar table in front of us (but behind the Monks) and did a ritual that I did my best to imitate when it was my turn.
Most of the Monks left then the head Monk turned around and talked for a while. I didn't know if I should bow my head in prayer or watch and listen. Thankfully I realised he was telling us the history of the Temple.

When he finished and left, another Monk came up to me and said "Follow me, please".
I had a sudden feeling of specialness until I realised he was addressing all of us, I just happened to be the closest to him.

He led us through the inner sanctum which the Monks had been chanting in and we were able to look at everything. He did his best to explain things briefly.
At one deity altar I indicated "And this...?".
He paused, obviously trying to think of the English words to explain and decided to summarise by saying simply that the Deity was 'very rich'.
Someone behind me asked him another question about the same deity in Japanese and he talked animatedly, non-stop, for 20 minutes with everyone occasionally laughing. I felt really excluded but knew it was my own fault for not putting more effort into learning Japanese, Sanskrit and the last 2,500 years of Budhist history.

He then indicated it was time for breakfast.
That I understood...

Spitting the Dummy & Throwing the Towel

2006-09-15T11:30:00.002+12:00

May 1 cont...

When I got back to my room my embarassment turned to anger at my ignorance and naievety. There was no way I could do this! Everyday felt like an interminable struggle from the moment of waking to the moment of blessed sleep and I wanted out!

Joseph Campbell said the Hero gets the journey he is ready for. This was not the journey I had hoped for at all. I admit to suspecting I was badly under prepared - I just didn't anticipate how being under prepared would collide so fatally with not knowing the language.

I got changed back into my walking clothes, pulled apart my pack and angrily took out everything 'Monk' styled, as well as my second pair of shoes and my Oliver Statler bible and put them all in a plastic bag. I was amazed at how much the bag weighed.

I immediately noticed two things.
All the clothes I had removed were black or grey and even before putting my pack on, I felt like a load had been taken off my shoulders.

My ego had been decimated but it felt like the realistic, grown-up part of me suspected this might happen - and maybe knew it needed to.

I still wanted to go and visit Kobo Daishi so I put everything in a corner and walked along the road to his burial place in the cemetary.

It was a nice feeling to be able to get there easily from having been there the previous day.
I paid for five bundles of incense, kept four, lit one and sat in front of the gates to his Mausoleum.
As I sat there a young, fit looking, hard-core Japanese Henro arrived and proceeded with his rituals. I watched him and, with tears of regret, knew I had made the right decision to abandon this ridiculousness.
What was I thinking?
Whatever it was was so far removed from my office job, city living reality, I couldn't believe I could fool myself that I might have been able to do it.

I still prayed to Kobo Daishi.
I had some unravelling to do and felt comforted that someone-anyone might be with me.
Yet, strangely I felt he had been with me all along.

One of the many representations of Kobo Daishi

As I walked the scenic route back to the Temple through the graveyard, I kept turning around, thinking I could hear someone behind me.
The Daishi?

Wild Abandonment

2006-09-15T11:00:00.002+12:00

May 1 cont...

I got back to the Temple 10 minutes late for checkout, found my bags in the hallway and one of the novice Monks cleaning my room. With that humiliating feeling of a one-night-stand who had overstayed her welcome, I apologised and quickly bundled everything up and went to check out.
In the office, the Monk asked what I was in Koyasan for.
I told him I had planned to do the Pilgrimage.
He winced and said "Oh! So hard!".
I said "I know - I can't do it - not enough money or Japanese!" and he nodded as if to say 'You got that Sister!'

I caught the bus, cable car, train and train back to Namba then walked around in circles looking for a Post Office to post the clothes. After three lots of directions and narrowly avoiding Tantrums In Public Places, I finally found it. It cost over half my days allowance but it was worth every Yen!

I then went to McDonalds of all places.
I knew I needed something familiar, and cheap - some comfort.
The week before I would have confidently put $100 on a bet that I would never have looked for these things in McDonalds but, right then, it was everything I needed.

So now what to do?
I didn't want to be there for two months and I couldn't afford it - money or mental health.
Options...

Change flights to return sooner - two weeks would be plenty. The cost of changing flights would be a saving in the long run
Go to Iwate to see Chiharu's home
Still go to Shikoku, but just be a tourist
Find an Incense Master to see if I could spend some time with them
Take a package deal trip around Japan

I decided to make my way back to Tokyo, contact Chiharu's sister, Naomi, and ask her to help me.

Or maybe I would just go for a walkabout with no plans and see what happened...

TEXTS...

EL to GJM: (My 15 year old daughter)

Hi Darling-I'm on Mt Koya staying in a Temple. I'm going over to Shikoku today. This is such hard work! I don't understand anything or anyone and no-one understands me. I have just realised how unrealistic it is trying to do the pilgrimage and might have to change plans.

GJM to EL:

Wel jus du wot feels rite an dnt go on jus coz u fel u hav 2!

The Damn Bursts

2006-09-15T10:15:00.002+12:00

May 1 cont...

I didn't think it was possible but things got even worse giving me sudden insight into why my hair was only 1\2 cm long - so I couldn't pull it out!

I finally got help finding a Youth Hostel - I just had to get from Namba Station to Shin-Osaka Station, go out the exit and walk two blocks. A doddle if you walk out the correct exit - which I didn't of course. I had to ring them twice just to get there but they were soooo patient and Shin-Osaka Youth Hostel, in the Koko Plaza, was soooo flash it was worth it. I found out it was only two years old and joy-of-joys, the two reception guys spoke reasonable English.

I went to my room and, I don't know why, was surprised to find it was a four bed dorm.
I could see there were two other roomates already there but thankfully they were out.

I felt like a grenade that hadn't had it's pin in for quite some time and just wanted to explode already!
I collapsed on my bed and writhed with sobs of regret and humiliation.

Regaining Sanity in Shin-Osaka

2006-09-15T10:00:00.002+12:00

May 1 cont...

When the worst passed and I felt empty, I halfheartedly retrieved the crumpled information sheet to get bearings around the Hostel. Eventually I rolled off my bunk and cleaned up my face to have a look around.
I braved a peek into the (communal) bathroom and was thrilled to find a seperate gorgeous shower room. With an 'I'm SO there!!', I sprinted back down to my room, got my shower stuff and small amount of laundry and raced back up again before anyone could tell me it was for Japanese, Long Term or Sane guests only.

I was so excited! My first shower since I left home and it even had soap and shampoo.

I washed and shaved and (vehemently denying the possibility five minutes earlier) sang.

Conveniently, the laundry was in the same bathroom area. Washing machines were ￥300 and dryers were ￥100, so I handwashed my laundry in the shower, put it in the dryer then went back to the room.

As I was putting my shower stuff away there was a polite knock on the door and an elderly Japanese woman came in. I guessed she must be the fourth roomate but she looked really vague so I showed her which bed was hers, and when she was having trouble with her key, I showed her her locker and how it worked.
Her name was Kimiori San.
We tried to communicate but it was difficult.

Just then an announcement came over the intercom that there was free tea and coffee in the lounge.
Earlier I had noticed a dark skinned American (AKA English Speaking!) man and hoped I might get a chance to chat with him. I went up to the common room and tried not to seem too eager when I saw that he was there, so I casually made a coffee and sat down. He said Hello, introduced himself and gave me two biscuits (like two wafers with Nutella in between) which I called Dinner.

The man, however, was talking to someone else but I had noticed there was internet, so, before the indentation of the previous users butt had disappeared, I was logged on and checking emails.

Hindsight

2006-09-15T09:30:00.004+12:00

May 1 cont...

After my sobfest in the room, I had called Naomi, Chiharu's sister who offered to help me if I got back to Tokyo.
Her voice was so kind I wanted to wrap myself up in it.

When I checked my emails, there was one from Chiharu saying that Naomi had rung. Chiharu confirmed Naomi would help me but that their Mother's house in Iwate was being renovated so I was unable to go there.

By now I was starting to feel that I could integrate back into my human form and in a moment of clarity I realised I was about to give up on Shikoku before I had even given it a chance to work its magic on me.
That didn't seem fair or right.
I also knew that my Temple spin-out was completely self-induced. Not one person looked at me, or in any way showed any judgement toward me or my appearance. In fact it was me judging myself all along.

I replied to Chiharu saying I would go to Shikoku afterall.

After the (horrendously expensive) internet, I made another coffee and sat down by the American man and we talked for an hour.
He had been to New Zealand and loved it - especially Wellington. (I found often the first reference a person would make, when told them I was from New Zealand, was to the Lord of the Rings and usually with rolling eyes of ecstasy at the landscape).

I got my laundry and went back down to the room.
When I opened the door I admit I could have been a little more contained in showing my relief to see two young English sisters sitting at the table in their pyjamas, writing postcards 'back home'.
We talked and laughed for a few hours - with Kimiori San walking in and out restlessly.
She seemed lost and uncomfortable - I knew that feeling intimately and felt sorry for her but didn't have the words to do anything about it.

We all finally went to bed about midnight.

Even though it was late, feeling lighter (cleaner) and a little bit excited, I texted the few people I had spun out at, letting them know I had put off Giving Up for a day or two...

SDMG SOS

2006-09-15T09:00:00.002+12:00

May 1 cont...

At the Youth Hostel, at exploding point, and between sobs, SMG was the first person I texted...

I hardly knew SMG - we met just before I left - but he could always express what I knew all of my friends and family had in their hearts but didn't have his words for.

'I'm hating every minute here - is it too early to come home yet? I feel so fucking stupid and naive - what was I thinking?'

His reply...

'First thing - I really feel for you and the stress of (such) a new situation. And, yes, it is too early to come home. I know nothing about it, so, disregard this freely. First, just stop hating it. Take a deep breath. Choose another emotion - just pretend. Second, you'll have input overload -->stress-->freak out (aaagh!). Can you simplify? Uniform daily patterns, and/or rest in a library for a day. Best wishes, love S'

Then soon after...

'If you are going to be near a land-line, I could organise to call (it's cheap) maybe help to hear a familiar voice. Prob give me a day's warning, or today.'

This set me off on a fresh round of sobs, but of relief and gratitude.
How can anyone who hasn't been in this situation fully comprehend how perfect those texts were?

I felt hugged and soothed and now sure that, with texts like these, this kind of support, not only could I go on, but that I had to.

This never was just about me...

Cracking the Code

2006-09-15T08:00:00.002+12:00

May 2

So, I took SMGs advice and worked out a plan.

I got up early and went to the Train station (sans pack), where I had my first exhilarating heart-racing breakthrough.

I studied a map and realised, for the first time, that all the major stops were also in English. I had been so freaked out that I had a mental block and could only see hyroglyphics.
I knew I needed to get to Osaka Station in order to get to Shikoku, found it on the map and set off to attempt to get a ticket without anyones help.

The ticketing system is really very simple in Japan. One just needs to know which line one needs. There are billboard sized maps of the lines, with all stations clearly marked, above the ticket machines. Upon identifying the line, then the station, you look for the stop and it says two numbers - these are fares. The higher number being the amount for adults and the lesser number for children.
The machines have screens with big squares. You put in your money and the amounts within the money range you have put in, will come up on the squares. You press the relevant square and a ticket pops out, followed by change.

Once you have the ticket, you walk through the gates, putting the ticket in the slot, it reads and clips it, then it comes back out at the other end of the gate for you to keep until you get to the destination station.

After getting off the train, you walk through an indentical gate, putting the ticket in again, but this time it calculates if the fare paid is correct, and if it is, it keeps the ticket, the screen says Thank You and the barriers open. If it isn't, the barriers stay closed and the screen asks you to see an attendant.

I was ecstatic when I did it, all by myself, for the first time.
Only later I found out that I'd got it for the wrong train service because I got to the other end, confidently put my ticket in and the gate closed and I had to see the attendant.

Two days ago that would've had me writhing on the station floor in a sobbing hysteria, but today, even that couldn't set me back - I had cracked it...

A Filet of Faith

2006-09-15T07:00:00.003+12:00

May 2 cont...

Now that I had the magic ticket, there was plenty of time for breakfast so I had another Filet o Fish Fest.
I felt 152 times better and a tentative emerging sense of control.

I got back to the Hostel to check out and made the second best decision of the day. I asked the guy at reception about train or bus fares from Osaka to Shikoku.
Not only did he ring and make a bus reservation, he wrote out a number of generic notes such as "Where is the bus/train departure platform? - Thank You."

I checked out with as many Arigato's as the poor man could handle and went to the Train Station, caught the (aforementioned wrong) train then showed one of my notes to about three people - the last one was a teenage school boy who, bless his Rod Stewart hairdo, walked me all the way to the depot.

It was a breeze compared to the previous days of public transport trauma.

While I was sitting on my (much lighter but still heavy) backpack, I saw a Henro and was reassured when he got on the same bus as me. Maybe I could follow him when we got to Tokushima?

Once I settled into my seat on the bus, I opened a fresh packet of Hindsight And Perspective, and could see why I stressed so much. I forgot about jetlag, was pre-period, had info overload (as SMDG suggested), culture shock and severly limited means of communication.

I knew it would happen again, and probably soon, but what made this time different from my South Island trip, is that this time I had communication with people who, despite my numerous flaws and dress sense, loved and supported me more than my limited sense of self-worth could conceive as even sensible.

Maybe just maybe...

Saint Claire

2006-09-15T06:00:00.001+12:00

May 2 cont...

The bus arrrived in Tokushima, on the island of Shikoku, about 2pm and I managed to find a loose thread on my backpack to investigate until the Henro got off the bus and I could accost him with questions.
Unfortunately he was resuming his pilgrimage at Temple 18 and was about to catch a train but he helped me find the Information Centre, which was so easy it was embarassing, and I caught the lift up to the sixth floor where it was located.

I would have bet that Claire San, the Canadian woman at TOPIA, would be rich if she got paid 10 Yen for every Gaijin whose jaw dropped with amazement to see her smiling face behind the counter. I would have happily paid that 10 Yen myself right then!

To say she was a Miracle would be like saying I'm quite fond of Eddie Vedder's voice - a GROSS understatement!!
She rang and booked my next four nights accomodation, gave me maps, phone numbers, an article and a list of accomodation places for the entire 88 Temples.

I was speechless (and I knew people who would pay good money to see that!) .

The reason I asked her to help me was because it was Golden Week which is comparable to our Easter in that there are only two days or so work in amongst a week of Public Holidays - and I had already experienced Koyasan on a Public Holiday so knew what madness it could be.
She admitted she hadn't done quite so comprehensive an itinerary before and was looking forward to my feedback.

The Miracles of Saint Claire

Each of the places cost more than I had budgeted for but in order to even start the Pilgrimage, after wanting to bail, I came to terms with the fact that I was going to run out of money anyway and decided not to worry about it till it happened.

I said goodbye to Claire San, not being able to express my devotee like gratitude adequately enough and almost skipped the 200 paces to my first lodging.

My Love Affair With Agnes Begins

2006-09-15T05:00:00.001+12:00

May 2 cont...

As soon as I walked into the lobby of The Agnes hotel, I knew I was in Henro Heaven.
It was ￥6,500　a night, including Western style breakfast, and worth twice that amount! Compared to the Temple lodging on Koyasan at ￥9,500 and even though they were quite different venues, there was no comparison for me and my needs at that moment. My very own room with an amazing bathroom with a bath deep enough for a diving board, heated everything, and even a 'Pants Press' folded up in a cupboard.

Suddenly I had a brainwave!

In the four days Claire San had booked for me I would be doing a loop of the first 17 Temples, ending back up in Tokushima before going on to Temple 18. I decided to halve my pack yet again, leaving the remainder here - that's if Takashi San from the Hotel would allow it.

I went down to talk to him immediately, before I could lose my confidence. He was wildly accomodating! I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather stay after my first four gruelling days on the Trail and paid in advance.

Jubilant from success at my first ever attempt at Intelligent Thinking, I walked to the department store I had seen earlier. SOGO was massive and the choices and presentation of food would have had Peta Mathias wringing her pinny in ecstasy.

Arms laden with bags of food and feeling more alive and in control than I had since I left home, I had faith that the Specialty Coffee Shop I walked into was finally going to deliver a Coffee Like No Other, making it a perfect day.
Not so. It was a JAP. Just Another Perc, but at the equivalent of $7 NZD.

While I was there, I couldn't resist sending multiple texts to everyone sharing the days achievements but got multiple texts as replies from Vodafone saying I had insufficient funds.
Huh?
I was on Global Roaming for goodness sake!

Smork Free Floor

Back in my room I had a bath, then, sitting in my underwear (I hadn't been able to figure out the aircon) I spread the contents of my entire pack over every loop of carpet on the floor, taking out all that I wouldn't need then packing everything away again, marveling at the extremes I had unneccessarily prepared myself for.

I now had my food, a light pack, maps, accomodation and money. I was as ready as I could be.
I was so grateful that with a little (lot of) help from my friends, I chose to take the risk afterall.

I would have failed if I had bailed, but just taking the risk, regardless of the outcome, felt like success already...

TEXT...

EL to GEC:

Hey there Craig Whanau! I just sent a text to u but had run out so Global Roaming not picking up tab - got $2 top-up 2 send this! G-special favour? Could u get pre pd card & text me #? Going into mountains tom & can't ph Vfone. So precious u r! Had hell few days but gd now-am writing all down. 1st 6 temps tom.

Inheriting the Matrix - T1

2006-09-15T04:00:00.002+12:00

May 3 (15kms)

It felt a little weird sitting in the exquisite restaurant having a continental breakfast among highly coiffured business people, in my tramping clothes and shoes, attempting to show that, yes, I had experience with more than a billy can and camping cutlery.
Even if I had pulled it off, I ruined it when I notsocovertly smuggled 5 butters, a bun and a banana from the buffet table for lunch.

I dropped the spare bag off at reception and jauntily walked the one block to the train station.
My previous days confidence was temporarily challenged because there wasn't a word of English and I was back to Charades to get my ticket.

I got to the platform and wasted no time introducing myself to a waiting Henro (whom I later nicknamed The Laughing Henro) who took me under his soontobe sweaty armpit.
On the train we met another Henro and the three of us got off the train and strolled the three blocks to Temple One.
They talked in blokey Japanese and I nodded and laughed when they did, not being able to understand a word but feeling like a Fellow Henro in the Elite Henro Squad starting out on the Epic Henro Adventure into the fierce and unknown wilderness where no Henro had been beforzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip - Oh! We're here already?

I could only assume the Laughing Henro had been given special instructions by Kukai himself, because he excitedly draggeed me around the Temple One shop, thrusting Henro Garb into my hands like a frustrated housewife on Sale Day in Kirkaldies and Stains with her neighbour.
The only neighbour in the street with a Gold Credit Card!

With my limited funds, however, I had resigned myself to only getting a sash to wear around my neck. Of course that would NEVER DO! I HAD TO HAVE a Name Slip Book, and I REALLY NEEDED The Hat and climbing mountains would be IMPOSSIBLE without The Stick.
I managed to ward off The Stick but could see the sense in The Hat (no hair - walking miles in sun and rain - previous experience with Sunstroke) and it didn't seem a big deal to indulge him with the Name Slip Book because it didn't cost much.

I still had my backpack on and, even though the contents had halved, it was still the size of a shipping container. The nervous tic the saleswoman had developed in the short time we were there was enough for me to pay quickly and move my roadtrain outside before I damaged anything.

The rumour that a Gaijin Henro was in the hood spread quickly and before I could take my pack off or arrange my new acquisitions, we had a posse around us all talking at once to my Henro.

After grave discussions, my Henro, speaking on behalf of everyone, earnestly told me 'You need The Stick!'. Everyone was nodding at me with the disturbing intensity of Dawn of the Dead Zombies so, in an effort to lighten the mood I said jokingly "Alright, alright - I'm going to get The Stick!"

While I was inside he must have told them I was about to starve. I obviously confirmed this news when I came back out, holding The Stick and showing them my empty purse, because suddenly they were all thrusting money and other settai into my already overflowing arms.

An older woman, who looked like a hard core biker chick (but instead of black leather ridgies, she was wearing white Henro clothes) sidled up to me. With bandana headband keeping her short gray hair off her face, one eye squinting so the smoke from the cigarette she had in her mouth didn't get in it, she fished out a ￥1000 note and handed it to me, saying multisylabically in her gravelly voice '...settai' and sauntered off again before I could thank her.

During this brief exchange, two monks - A Blue one and a Brown one - were talking in a huddle with my Henro and the shop staff. I was a bit nervous they might be discussing how much I would be worth on the Gaijin Slave Market, but the Blue Monk broke away and suddenly grabbed a bag off the shelf with the Henro symbols on it, thrust it toward me saying urgently and nodding for emphasis 'Settai! Settai!'

By now I was completely overwhelmed and burst into tears.

I had read tales about how generous the inhabitants of Shikoku were toward Henro, but these people were assuming I was legitimate, and were treating me as if I were a visting Deity. How could I tell them that they were wasting their Yen, that I probably wouldn't make it to the next set of traffic lights.

The Blue Monk, ignoring my outburst, had a thought then said something that set everyone in a flurry of activity. The now-not-so-nervous shop woman finally handed him a black markerpen. The Blue Monk took the bag back off me and wrote something on it. In a unison resembling spectators at a tennis match, everyone looked at what he had written, looked at him like he was the incarnation of The Daishi himself then looked at me as if I he had just bestowed me with the key to the The Matrix.

Now I was getting really nervous. Not because I didn't think I could handle The Matrix but because all I had in my reportoire to show my appreciation was 'Arigato' and I could see that wasn't going to cut it this time.
It seemed the combination of clutching my new bag to my chest, bowing as low as my centre of gravity would allow me while snivelling Arigato, seven times in quick succession, was deemed as an honest enought attempt because with a satisfied look on his face, the Blue Monk retreated with the Brown Monk following him, and everyone started breathing again.

Henro Couture...

As mysteriously as they had all appeared, they suddenly vanished and I was left with my Henro who led me to a nearby cafe.
He was shaking his head as he lit his cigarette.
I watched carefully out of the corner of my eye as I was rearranging everything to monitor whether it was with disappointment (at how I handled myself) or wonder (that these people were naive enough to take me seriously).

He then told me that the Blue Monk was a Temple Master called Yamamoto San and that what he had written on the bag was the name of his Temple and his phone number. He then said that Yamamoto San insisted that when I got to Temple 26, I was to call him and he would pick me up so I could stay with him.
He said to me over and over 'You very lucky! He a Temple MASTER!'.

After repeating it a few more times, and only once he was satisfied I understood the significance of everything that had taken place, he asked me how far I was going.
I said 'Hachi Ju Hachi Ban' - Temple 88.
He asked me if I had my map with me. I said I didn't have any maps.
This is when he got his nickname - he started shaking his head again and laughing as if to say 'You really have no clue do you!!' He then took out two map books and some smaller maps and said 'Settai' as if he was giving me water wings so his conscience could let him sleep that night.

The Laughing Henro and other Henro who led me to Temple 1

Unable to keep this Startling Story of Stupidity to himself, he then went on to tell it to the Cafe guy, shaking his head and pointing at me. Then they both laughed at me. I could tell they didn't think I had a Hope In Jikoku of reaching Hachi Ju Hachi Ban.
I didn't think I did either so I laughed with them...

NOOOOOO!!!

TEXT...

NMG to EL:

I hear the force is strong with you...

(typo - he clearly meant farce)

Thrusting Myself on New Friends - T2,3 & 4

2006-09-15T03:00:00.002+12:00

May 3 cont...

The Laughing Henro had other carp to fry, so, after going through the stamp process, I said Saionara and headed (I hoped) toward Temple 2. He said Gambette (Good Luck) and kept watching till I was out of sight, just to make sure he had all my details for the identikit picture he just knew he was going to be helping the Police with later that week.

The peacefulness of walking along the road to Temple 2 made my ears feel like they had just stepped out of a Pachinko Parlour into a back alley. The previous hours excitement and drama already seemed like yesterday.

I'm not sure if it felt so good getting to Temple 2 because I didn't get lost in the 300 paces it took to get there, or because I had a legitimate reason for taking off my backpack.
Whatever the reason, I felt elated going through (my version) of the motions. This time I didn't have the desire to whistle while staring with fascination at the ceiling hoping The Pilgrimage Police weren't watching while I got my stamp.

As I stumbled my way back out onto the road, already starting to lose my sense of direction, I spotted a Henro couple who I quickly caught up to. I discretely tailgated them all the way to the next Temple but, as we arrived, I thought it would be rude if I didn't at least try to apologise for almost tripping one of them over.

Taieriki San assured me she hardly even noticed me stepping on her heels so I quickly changed the subject and asked how far they were going today. Because it was obvious I was going the same way, she was forced to admit they were going to Temple 6.
I asked her if I could follow them and, without even consulting her husband, the brave woman said Yes.

Looking behind her, to check I was at a safe distance, she led me to the Temple Office to get our books stamped. While I was having mine done, she obviously told her husband, Kenji San, that I was going to be with them because they immediately bought out food to boost their energy levels.

I was glad of the pause because I needed to put some gaffer tape on my feet and change my socks for thinner ones.
I was only at Temple 3 and my feet were already wanting a trade-in..

We soon set off for Temple 4.

As we walked, we attempted to get to know each other.
Taieriki San spoke a little English but Kenji San spoke none at all. After an hour my mind started wandering and I kept dreaming about the next time I played Charades back home - I just knew all this practise was finally gonna make me a winner!!

I started to get that I'm Being Followed feeling and looked back to see another Henro behind us.
Feeling overconfident and chummy, I said Konichiwa and, upon finding out he was also going to Temple 6, I made an executive decision and invited Yahiro San to join The Gang.

Taieriki San, Kenji San and Yahiro San

I hardly noticed the time go by as we all amiably chatted.
My new friends had the patience of Soup Kitchen Volunteers while I flipped backwards and forwards through my phrasebook saying a long drawn out 'ano...' (which I learnt off Saint Claire and roughly meant 'ummmm...') until I could find the word I needed. It was only after half and hour that we realised Yahiro San spoke wonderful English and I was able to retire my weary phrasebook for the rest of the day.

I found out that all three were yet more teachers, in their 50s and 60s. Also, that this was Kenji San's second time round.
He never stood a chance.
He was instantly nominated 'Guido' and the rest of us switched on our Cruise Controls...

The Navigator

2006-09-15T02:00:00.001+12:00

May 3 cont...

If there was a Degree in Henro Trail Navigation, Kenji San would have received it with honours. He had the intuitve instinct of an Adept who did orienteering on his weekends off and made the Labrynth between Temples seem like a go-cart track.

The Gang may have found it endearing that I had so much faith in Kenji San's navigation abilities - that I never once questioned his lead. But the truth was, there were subtleties on the signs posts (like signs) that were an absolute mystery to me and I couldn't bare the looks of pity from any of them if they learnt my humiliating secret.

I failed my Brownies badge, Arrows for Absolute Beginners...

Henro Trail Navigation for Dummies

A Country Lane Blessing

2006-09-15T01:00:00.001+12:00

May 3 cont...

We were all surprised when the older gentleman coming toward us on a scooter, who we all got into single file to make way for, pulled over in the middle of the little country lane, turned his motor off and removed his helmet.

He reminded me immediately of a hard case Kamatua (Maori Elder) so I stood back to watch what was sure to be a fascinating encounter.

Sure enough, he talked animatedly and waved his arms dramatically for the next 20 minutes with my humble friends ahsoing and nodding reverently as if they were being told the method Kobo Daishi himself had used to build the very bridge we were so auspiciously standing right beside.

He then got off his scooter and went around us all, one by one, brushing our heads, shoulders and sides with a swatch of something, (doing what Yahiro San referred to soon after as a Mysterious Blessing) after which we bowed our appreciation.

Finally he nodded, satisfied, as if to say 'My job is done here', put on his helmet, mounted his scooter and charged off.

I didn't really find out what he was telling them (I'm not positive they understood either) but one piece of advice they were happy about was, upon arriving at our lodging at Temple 6, we should leave our bags behind then walk to Temple 7 and back before dinner.

All I heard was 'leave our bags behind'.

Now they were speaking MY language!

TEXT...

RT to EL:

We're all enjoying sharing yr txts :-/ prhps u need to phase out th sake more slowly ;-)...

Kai Karma - T5

2006-09-14T23:00:00.003+12:00

May 3 cont...

Between Temples 5 and 6, I asked Yahiro San to relay to Taieriki and Kenji San's that I would like to share my food with them for lunch. By the looks on each of their faces, I guessed they were mentally checking their Karmic Bank Balances to see if they could afford a withdrawal. Taking food from a simple and clearly not financially fortunate Gaijin seemed like a big ask of their consciences.

I, however, was flush with Karma and needed to share it around. With the amount of generosity I had been given in the last 24 hours, it felt like my responsibility to distribute it.

Before one of them could break ranks and turn me down, knowing the others would follow, I quickly unpacked all the Kai. It was only then they started relaxing.
They took their packs off with a syncronised sigh of relief realising that, in fact, they were about to do me a favour.

I may have had exquisite SOGO delicacies, and lots of them, but anyone could see their expiry date was in three minutes.

Giving Stick

2006-09-14T22:00:00.001+12:00

May 3 cont...

I couldn't have chosen three more humble, kind and patient people out of a line-up to accompany me (that's why I knew to leave it up to the Universe!) and walking with them felt soothing - as if any worries I had ever had had were in fact someone elses all along.
Our conversations were relaxed and stimulating and, apart from the two storied building on my back, and my hips and shins developing stress fractures, I was happy and enjoying myself.

However, as we were walking, I was wrestling with my conscience like a Sumo on sickleave.
It was a well known and lamented fact that Asphalt was the Enemy but it felt like a sin punishable only by Terminal Mortality to be resenting The Stick.

The Stick, most Henro knew, represented two things.
The Pilgrimage motto was We Two Pilgrims Together - meaning Kobo Daishi and Me, and The Stick represented Kobo Daishi. There were even bowls of water beside lodging front doors to wash the bottom of The Stick - aka Kobo Daishi's feet.
The other significance came from the old days, before roads and signposts. Pilgrims would often die on the Henro trail and The Stick was used to mark where they were buried.

So resenting The Stick felt like Dissing the Daishi!

The reason for my resentment?
I could justify juggling my Phrasebook, waterbottle, sunglasses and hat, but The Stick just got in the way. I was sure it would be essential on the Mountain trails, as The Laughing Henro insisted, but right now, on the ashphalt, frankly, it was as useful to me as a zimmer frame would be to Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road!

In an effort to justify the awkward appendage, I commented lamely to Yahiro San, when he asked after it, that it was 'quite stabilising on uneven surfaces'. He then admitted that he had looked for one at the last Temple we were at but couldn't see any to buy.

Ten Four Universe - Reading you loud and clear!

Later in the afternoon we were all having quiet-time managing our weariness. I casually asked Yahiro San if he could hold my stick for me while I wrote something down in my little notebook. I dropped back to write and Yahiro San walked ahead and started talking to Kenji San.
Even after putting my notebook away, I stayed looking down so that I could avoid Yahiro San's eye contact, and watched him surreptitiously from under the brim of my hat.
I was pleased to see that he had integrated The Stick as if it was his all along, and didn't look back once to see where I was, so I started talking to Taieriki San.

After an hour or so, he turned and went to hand it back to me as casually as I had passed it to him. I made my hands into a cross (which is Japanese Charades for 'No') and said 'Ie! I want you to have it as Settai'. He looked a bit confused but kept carrying it. Because he hadn't said Thank You, I knew that he hadn't quite understood.

When we finally arrived at Temple 6, he went to hand it to me again, saying Thank you (for the lend).
I put my hands behind my back, looked directly into his eyes and said slowly and meaningfully 'No Yahiro San - I would like to give you The Stick as Settai'.
His face lit up and this time he said 'Oh - thank you very much!' and reverently put it with all the others in the Stick Rack beside the door.

I quickly turned my back because I didn't think I would be able to talk out of my constricted throat. I had forgotten how humbling it could be to give something to someone who had no idea how precious they were.

Tatami Gold...T6&7

2006-09-14T21:00:00.002+12:00

May 3 cont...

I had read on the net that lodging places were often nervous that Gaijin wouldn't like their Japanese food and wouldn't know what to feed them, so, after the experience with Indefinable Foodstuffs on Koyasan, I found it easier to have my lodging not include meals. It made it cheaper, I was in more control of what had intimate relations with my intestines and the lodgings seemed happier to accept me.

At Temple 6, we quickly dumped our packs as Scooterman suggested and walked the short distance to Temple 7. When we got back we checked in proper, the others went off to have their dinner and I was shown to my room.

It was divine.

It was almost exactly the same set-up as the room on Koyasan.
The sun spilled through from the tranquil Zen garden outside, forming a golden pool on the Tatami mats that said Come Bathe In Me. I peeled my shoes and socks off and lay on my back for five minutes soaking in the gammas.

As the sun moved, I thought I would have a go too.
I gingerly pulled myself into an upright(ish) position, retrieved the last of my food from the pantry in my pack and made a delicious salad.

Earlier in the day, we worked out that Taieriki San and Kenji San were breaking away to climb a mountain the next day and Yahiro San and I were going to go on to Temple 10 together.
The check-in was such a flurry that, when we all got led off in different directions, I didn't get a chance to find out where my friends were going to be or make arrangements for meeting up the next day.

I had just finished clearing away my salad when I heard a quiet 'Sumimasen E San' outside my door. I hobbled over and slid it open to find Taieriki San standing politely in the hall. She said matter of factly 'Could you please be at the front door by 7am to meet Yahiro San'. I said Hai! and Arigato! Then I asked when her and Kenji San were leaving. She told me they were leaving at the same time. I was relieved. I couldn't bear not saying goodbye to them.
She bowed and left.

Even though I was exhausted from staggering 15 km's in 8 hours, I resisted the temptation to just collapse and mould myself back into the Tatami. Instead, I made up my bed, sent some texts and plugged in my phone then did my writing.

I had pesky worries about the next two days hanging around my head like fruitflies but I waved them aside before they could morph into fighter planes and freefell into a coma.

TEXTS...

EL to F&F (Family and Friends):

Walked 8 hours today with 3 others to Temple 6 - sunny but not too hot. My feet want a divorce and I'm walking like a pregnant 80 year old!

NMG to EL:

Stop and take a break for a couple of days u maniac!

The Parting Gift

2006-09-14T20:00:00.002+12:00

May 4 (20kms)

I woke up early and got dressed but stood by my door with my bathroom things till I could tell everyone had gone to breakfast. I still didn't know the rules for washing and didn't want to draw attention to myself by cleaning my teeth over a bowl that everyone else knew was for rinsing the toilets.
I poked my head out into the hall and seeing there was no-one around, I went first to one bathroom, then the other. I didn't know which one was the Womens because both bathrooms had urinals (I was just thankful that I knew they were urinals) so, knowing my reconaissance time was limited, I just dived into the nearest one (bathroom - not urinal).

I'd just got back to my room and got my stuff collected together when Taieriki San gently knocked on my door. She had a worried look as if she wished she had thought to bring her rubber gloves in case she had to scrape me off the Tatami. I think she got a shock when I opened it immediately, fully loaded and ready to roll, with a cheerfulness that the Monks might have had a law against at that time of the morning.

When we got to the front door, without looking at me, Taieriki San discretely slid me a package. Even after only one quick peek at the stash she had just slipped me, I was prepared to put her on the payroll to be my Food Pimp immediately without references.

I said Arigato as casually as if she had just given me a club sandwhich wrapped in a serviette then, with my hands shaking like a pokie addict having to choose between Double Up and Take Win, I put my shoes on and we joined the others.

Seperation Anxiety - T8 & 9

2006-09-14T19:00:00.002+12:00

May 4 cont...

I could tell the transaction had gone un-noticed because, when we got outside, Kenji San was still showing Yahiro San some Aikido moves my dear friend Brenda would have found inspiring.

I put my sunglasses and hat on, then we all walked as slowly as we could the 50 paces to the end of the street where we were to part. Doing my transparent best to postpone having to say goodbye, I asked if I could get a picture of the three of them.

The sadness I was feeling wasn't only that I was saying goodbye forever to two special people that, in a nano second, had been more accepting and generous towards me than some people who had known me all my life, but that, even if I could ask Yahiro San to translate for me, I could never fully express how much that meant to me.

I had been dealing with judgement all my life - from having an 'infamous' father and having an obsessive compulsive disorder from a young age. When I was lucky enough to meet people who showed me only acceptance, it was hard for me to let them go because, as I had discovered, they were rare and I never knew when I was going to meet some of their breed again.

Taieriki and Kenji Sans walked over the road to their vehicle and, after waving goodbye to them, Yahiro San and I set off walking in the opposite direction toward Temples 8 and 9.

I didn't fully understand why but something that Kenji San had said and done had a very profound effect on Yahiro San and I had a feeling they would see each other again.

333 Steps to Wellbeing - T10

2006-09-14T18:00:00.001+12:00

May 4 cont

The Temples were already becoming a blur but when we got to Temple 10 and Yahiro San told me the rumour that climbing the 333 stairs would rid women of their misfortunes, it was hard not to thrust my pack at him and sprint up them four at a time.

333 Steps to Wellbeing

Every since I was about 16, I had been on a personal mission to unravel who was under the layers my surroundings had wrapped around me so when we finally got to the top, I let my inner pyromaniac loose and lit everything there was to light. I gonged every bell I could find and prayed to every deity that had fallopian tubes. Then, finally, as we descended the stairs, having seen all the coins on them as we were going up, I got a handful out of my purse and threw them out in front of me shouting "Here's to Wellbeing!" with a conviction that Louise L Hay could've written an book about.

It was a glorious feeling to experience a Temple I felt a connection with...

A Temporary Extension - T11

2006-09-14T17:00:00.002+12:00

May 4 cont...

Suddenly it hit me where we were!
Temple 10.
The last Temple with Yahiro San.
I suggested we sit down and have something to eat - truth is I just needed to sit down. The pesky fruitflies I had swatted away last night just returned as Fighter Planes and were looking for somewhere to land.

The past two days had been arduous but bearable because of my wonderful companions.
I had been told many times already about the torturous mountain climb from Temple 11 to Temple 12 and I was quietly freaking because I truly didn't know how to read the Japanese maps (I had been incredulous there were no maps available in English). I had tried to participate a few times and given up, trying to keep my hyperventilating goldfish routine discretely to myself.
So, I was scared at the thought of being by myself finally, but I didn't want Yahiro San to see how worried I was.
As if that lot weren't enough, my period was about to kick into full 'stream' ahead.

As we were eating, I asked Yahiro San where his train station was. I was completely disoriented but we had crossed some lines earlier in the day so I knew we couldn't be far away.
He said he would catch the train at the next station from where he had planned to so he could walk a little further with me toward Temple 11.

Even though it was only a small purchase of time, I felt like I had been given another year to live.

I then asked if he would do me a favour and write me some signs in Japanese that I could hold up if I needed to.
I got him to write:
"I'm lost - could you show me the way to the next Temple please?"
and
"Could you please take my bag to the next Temple and leave it at the office?"
then
"My name is E, this is my bag that I will pick up as soon as I arrive - Thank you for looking after it until then".

Insurance Policy

Yahiro San ended up walking with me all the way to Temple 11 afterall.

My shoulders weren't as sore as the day before but my hips felt badly bruised where the strap around my waist went and my toes had periods of numbness. My hips bones ached on and off too but overall I felt quite chipper, however, after reaching Temple 11, the walk to the Train Station was interminable and felt like it kept getting further away the closer we got. Even Yahiro San admitted to feeling exhausted.

When we finally did get there, Yahiro San checked his times and we had half an hour to spare, so, wanting to make the most of our last 30 minutes together, he offered to buy me a coffee.

Refried perculated coffee and three day old cake never tasted so divine!

Feeling a little melancholy and nostalgic already, I asked if I could write something on his stick then took out my calligraphy pen.

Of all the sayings I had created over the years, ironically all I could think of was a fridge magnet an old friend Brent gave me for my birthday years ago...

"Do the thing you think you cannot do" (Eleanor Roosevelt)

I had in mind the next part of the trail he would do in the future, from Temples 11 to 12 - the part I was anxious about doing the next day.

On hindsight I realised I was writing to my own subconscious.

While I was writing, Yahiro San rang the Roadside Hotel that Claire San had booked me into and arranged for them to pick me up.

There were some things I would never forget and the freezeframe of him standing at the entrance to the station, waving goodbye to me proudly holding The Stick was one of them.

With tears wedged out of my tight throat, I waved desperately until I couldn't see him anymore...

Yahiro San - The Free Spirit

The Roadside

2006-09-14T16:00:00.002+12:00

May 4 cont...

I now felt as lonely and vulnerable as a Youngkie that had fallen from its nest.

The Lady from the Roadside Hotel who picked me up didn't know a word of English but I could see the compassion in her eyes.
When we got to the Hotel, she booked me in and got me to my room before I could say 'Will you be my Mummy?'.

I was pleased to see it was tres Western, which meant I had my own bathroom again.
The bathrooms in hotels were always a small, fully contained formica box that one steps up into. Yahiro San had told me they were called Unit Bathrooms and they really appealed to my Virgo penchant for orderliness.

What didn't appeal was the cloying stench of cigarettes.
New Zealand had laws against smoking inside and I was amazed how quickly I had forgotten how nauseating it could be.
Years ago, when I was sick and couldn't afford to go to a doctor, I particpated in a research project with the Malaghan Institute. It was to study the effects of Cigarette and Marijuana smoke and was extensive. I had never smoked a cigarette in my life but I had been surrounded by people who had, but I was still surprised by the finding that I had the beginnings of emphysema.
(I also had anaemia - which it turns out is why I wasn't feeling well).
Before I even took my pack off, I flung all the windows open, hoping to deter the atmospheres plans for a Welcome Party for my lungs.

I prised my feet gingerly out of my shoes and studied the blisters. Ironically, I had got blisters from the gaffer tape that I had put on to prevent them. It was my bad though because I hadn't put the tape on very well and it had folded over on itself, causing the chaffing.

I made a dinner of the last of Taieriki Sans food. While I was eating I went through my Henro bag. I had ended up with about 17 more maps than I needed so I took out some of them and left them on the counter for the next lost Henro.
I then had a bath and listened to the MP3 player my boss gave me for christmas while soaking my wearys.

As Yahiro San was saying goodbye, he told me I needed to be back at Temple 11 by 7am. He had set me up with a life saving legacy - a very fit older couple we had met during the day. They were going to meet me there and escort me up the mountain to Temple 12.

The relief was exhausting but now I was staring into a fresh packet of worries.
What if I couldn't keep up?
What if any of my stressed body gave out?
And I didn't even want to go down the road of potential Period dilemma's!!

I couldn't remember the last time I had worn my physical endurance suit but I knew it was moldy, ill fitting and out of date! I considered getting out my travel sewing kit but knew it was too late for repairs. I would just have to do the best I could without unravelling.

It was fortunate I had walked over 20kms that day because as soon as I closed my eyes, sleep wrapped its warm arms around me.

TEXT...

EL to RT:

Did 20kms and got to Temple 11. Now sitting in bath listening to some Homegrown-blisters and swelling being placated before tomorrows torture...

Breakfasto Bungle

2006-09-14T15:30:00.001+12:00

May 5 (15kms)

NTS: Must remember that natural consequence of going to bed early is waking early. Useful information for getting to work on time.

As I was checking-in the previous night, I recognised the look on The Lady's face.
Pitch Blankness.
She had absolutely no idea at all what I was saying - ever - and would almost hyperventilate if I even threatened to speak. I worked out that it was best just to say nothing, nod a lot, keep my hands where she could see them and move very slowly.

As she showed me to my room, I interpreted her charades to mean that 'Breakfasto' was included in the price and she would bring it to my room at 6:30am.
Knowing the Japanese strict adherence to anything that went tick tock, I realised at 6:40 that I wasn't getting my breakfasto delivered to my room. In fact, I wasn't positive I was getting breakfasto at all, so I scoffed a quick bun then went downstairs.

Luckily I had my pack on because I only leapt 3 feet in the air instead of the potential 22when The Lady lunged at me. She said 'Breakfasto?!!' with such panic that I thought she might have a nervous breakdown any minute.
I said Hai! and quickly sat down where she indicated.
Despite the meal being slightly cold by now I had never tasted such divine salmon! If I wasn't in such a hurry, and if I didn't think it would tip The Lady over the edge completely, I might have tried for fourths.

A man was pacing outside and I knew he was waiting to take me back to Temple 11.
I skulled my Miso and quickly said thank you and goodbye to The Lady. I was completely sympathetic to her traumatised Hello Kitty wave and the smile she was soon going to be able to hear out of...

The Uprising

2006-09-14T15:00:00.001+12:00

May 5 (14.82kms)

We got to the Temple right on 7 so I rushed up to the main area. My guido's weren't there so I went back to the carpark. They had just arrived and looked as happy and relieved to see me as I was them.

We walked back up the main area. I thought they were going to do their biz, so because I had done mine yesterday, I just stood around looking at the masses of trinkets that were always on display. I casually looked up to see my two friends looking at me expectantly. I didn't realise they had done theirs yesterday too but the path up to the next Temple started to the side of the main area, which is where they were waiting for me. Doh!

There was no mistaking the seriousness of the situation - this was an uphill battle right from the first step!
My body immediately started to riot. My legs were negotiating a strike, my lungs demanded more airtime and my heart threatened to detonate if it didn't get an increased allocation of chest cavity. I was dumbfounded, however, that my back was so supportive - it didn't protest once. Surprisingly it approved of the forward stance I was forced to take.
Thankfully it only took my body half an hour to realise that it could rebel all it wanted, the steps weren't going to surrender and lie down anytime soon, so, in its best interests, it resumed a united front for the rest of the day.

I was relieved also that my Guido's, Iwamoto San and Myoko San, who were in their early 60's, were obviously experiencing the same challenge because I didn't have to be the one to ask for pitstops.

Iwamoto San and Myoko San

My new friends didn't speak much English but it didn't matter that we couldn't talk because breathing took priority.

Climbing with Kukai

2006-09-14T13:00:00.001+12:00

May 5 cont...

Just before I left New Zealand, I had been telling someone, while chewing my nails pensively, about the Mountains I was going to be climbing. They suggested that the Japanese idea of climbing Mountains was possibly not quite the same as ours. It felt like they had given me a safety harness and crampons but I tried not to get my hopes up and kept visualising Mount Everest just to be realistic.

Fortunately whoever told me that rumour was right. Although the Mountain was strenuous and steep, it was more what we in New Zealand would class as a good days hike up into ranges.
The paths were not only breathtakingly beautiful but manageable, with a trillion steps edged with fake synthetic logs, and it was only occasionally that we had to climb rock faces. The vegetation was not a lot unlike ours, with enough ferns to make me feel represented and every few hours or so, we would come upon a small mountain shrine that was always a sign to my weary bones we were going to have a break.

Small shrine between Temples 11 and 12

But, just like New Zealand, I’m not sure it would have been so convivial if it had been raining.

We quickly settled into a climbing order - Iwamoto San led the way, I was in the middle and Myoko San was behind me.
There were unexpected benefits climbing with two fit 60 year olds because their maturity meant they stopped often to enjoy the scenery – obviously their Busting Guts days were long gone. Also – it made me look like the fit whipper snapper!!

And I was surprisingly fit. I kept up miraculously well which I marvelled at on a step by step basis. Iwamoto and Myoko Sans kept commenting on how fit I was but relatively, they were the athletes.

Iwamoto and Myoko San’s on the arduous trail up to Temple 12

I admit to having one major ace up my sleeve that kept me going through the exhaustion and weariness we all were feeling at times.

The bell on Iwamoto San’s backpack.

It seemed that everyone had a bell attached to themselves in some form – some, like Iwamoto San, were attached to their backpack or clothing or belts, some hung from sticks, some from mobile phones or cameras. I wasn't sure what they represented but I’d always loved bells and chimes and had them at strategic places around my house so felt an attraction to them.

Iwamoto San's had a particularly eerie yet hypnotising ring to it.

While following him, I always felt Kobo Daishi in front of me, beckoning me forward, saying You Can Do It E, Just Follow Me.

Uncannily, it didn’t ring all the time - only the times when I needed encouragement…

Not even half way up to Temple 12

Found in Translation

2006-09-14T12:00:00.001+12:00

May 5 cont...

We soon started collecting new friends.

We first came upon Mamasan while discretely having a comfort stop - her son standing politely nearby.
When on the trail, one could feel like the only soul on the planet, but on this day, the trail was a virtual highway full of people, so her water was unceremoniously cut off by our arrival around the corner.

Mamasan was 69 and her son looked about 17, so he was probably 42. I didn’t know what was in the Japanese diet but I was getting bored with my own incredulous responses to finding out someone was at least 20 years older than what they looked.

Later we caught up with another older woman who could have been Mamasan’s sister because she had the same small, compact and wiry frame.
All of these people had done the entire 88 temples before, some of them multiple times, yet I was still stunned at their strength and vitality.

Next to join the pack were Tsusuo San and his wife Akemi San, who both spoke fluent English - both of them denying it vehemently.
They became our groups link and were able to translate the answers to the many questions my friends had been craving to ask me about my lifestyle and why the heck I had come so far to do such a crazy thing that most Japanese found difficult.

Henro Ascent (L-R Akemi San (obs), Tsusuo San, Myoko San and Iwamoto San)

Everytime I answered a question, they talked amongst themselves, indicating toward me and laughing or ahsoeing, then asked another question.
I realised very quickly that humour was Universal and we were soon all joking and laughing and sharing stories.

I can’t pinpoint when it started happening but, intuitively, I had started dropping a lot of joining words. I found myself making statements such as “You very young!” or “Which way we go?” etc. If I said these slowly and clearly enough, everyone seemed to understand me and eventually the less fluent of them started being brave enough to say a few words and sentences and were clearly chuffed when I understood them.

Eventually we all stopped for lunch and I was given settai treats from all angles.

Akemi San had discretely indicated that Mamasan’s son would like to speak with me at some stage but that he was very shy so, at lunch, using the settai they had offered me as a reason, I went and sat with them.
I found out that he had learnt his English from a 15 minute programme that was on everyday at a certain time. I don’t think he had had a chance to practise with an English speaking person so his face lit up like a Christmas tree when I sat down with them. (I admired Akemi San’s diplomacy and wisdom in not sitting with us which forced us to work out ways to communicate). I could see by the way that he and Mamasan talked to each other, that they were both extremely humble, respectful and patient so it felt like an honour to be around them and I enjoyed our exchange. Also – I noticed in the half hour we talked, his English got better and better by the minute.

Just before we set off again, Mamasan insisted that her son (I never found out their names) rearrange my hat with the cord from his own hat. The way he tied it meant it sat more firmly on my head and was adjustable. Mamasan then gave me her own polkadot scarf from around her neck and showed me how to tie it around my head so it could soak up any perspiration and stop the internal frame of the hat leaving indents on my not-so-cushioned skull. I knew, on relative terms, they may has well have given me their own backpacks because they didn't have much and the son was conveniently vague when I asked how he would now tie his hat. I said thank you sincerely, bowing deeply to hide the welling tears.

Before we knew it, the valleys and forests opened up and presented us with Temple 12 and we all automatically switched into worship mode…

Iwamoto San, E, Myoko San, Tsusuo San and Akemi San at the bottom of Temple 12 steps...
(the backs of Mamasan and her son further up the steps)

In yet another ironic twist of fate, the day after I wrote this post I was delighted to receive this photo of Mamasan and her son in the mail - so now I knew their names were Shinji and Nobuko (though I wasn't sure who owned which name). This was taken at the bottom of the steps at the small shrine between Temples 11 and 12.

Gambette Gods

2006-09-14T11:00:00.001+12:00

May 5 cont...

What do Sir Ed and Timothy Leary have in common?
They both know that when you go up, you gotta come down...

I could add that the quality of both experiences has everything to do with those around you at the time.

An odd tendency I was aware of is that if I worry about something, usually it winds up being OK, sometimes Better Than OK and occasionally Miraculous. And when I'm too flippant and put little or no energy toward something, it can detonate with the impressiveness of supporters of the losing side out on the town after the game.

I had been almost beside myself with dread over climbing the 'mountain' to Temple 12. It wasn't only in the way everyone always said Gambette - Good Luck, it was in their facial expression. I had seen that Good Luck before when I was moving from my hometown to the Capital city - the Good Luck that wished it had a spare support crew it could lend you.

However, I had been alone for each of the most recent Good Lucks, so the Good Luckers hadn't figured on a small army being sent from the other side to be on every side of me (I hadn't figured on them either) so getting to Temple 12 fell into the Miraculous and I will never know if my light headedness was from altitude, relief or that giddy feeling that comes with having a brush with Divine Intervention.

Pilgrimage Paparazzi - T12

2006-09-14T10:00:00.001+12:00

May 5 cont...

Sometimes people commented on my ‘worship routine’ being so short. I didn’t necessarily want it to be so short, I just didn’t know the Heart Sutra that everyone else either read from their little books or recited by memory.
I liked rituals, and had a few of my own, but they had to have meaning for me. I was very aware of the power they held so I didn’t want to light candles and incense and recite a mantra that I didn’t know, just because that’s-what-you-do. I wanted to develop my own ritual or ‘way’ that had significance for me.

When we got to Temple 12, I fumbled through my routine around the Daishi-do (a hall that enshrines an image of Kukai) and the Hon-do (the main hall where the principle image (honzon) of the Temple is enshrined) then made my way back down the steps to the Stamp Office.

As I got to the bottom of the steps, a man, who looked a lot like Jack Black’s character in King Kong, complete with trilby hat, approached me and asked if he could take a photograph of me. This wasn’t unusual – I was approached at almost every temple by someone wanting a picture. I hadn’t seen another Gaijin Henro, so I guessed it was a rare thing.
I said Sure then stood on the bottom step, feeling very awkward and uncomfortable after our long arduous climb and did my best to smile.
I then noticed a man standing beside him who had one of those sun reflector thingies and the Jack Black man was directing him to move it.
This is when I got suspicious.
Also – he took picture after picture. A few times I said Arigato and went to move toward the Stamp Office and he would say Sumimasen and take some more.
By now, I was feeling duped. I didn’t know what it was all about but I knew he wasn’t another Henro merely capturing Trail memories.

Finally I just said Arigato, held my hand up to shield my face so he could see I didn’t want anymore pictures taken and walked away. This would normally be seen as extremely rude, but I felt this man was taking advantage of me and I had already discovered the polite way didn’t work.

As I was standing in line at the Stamp Office, the photographer approached me again. By now, everyone around me was fascinated as if they had been watching a movie.
He had a clipboard with a form on it that he thrust at me. Even though the form was in Japanese, I had seen enough Release Forms from my work to recognise what it was. This confirmed what I had suspected and I knew not to sign anything until my friends could tell me what it was said.
I told him I wanted my friend to translate for me and that I would be back with her. I turned around to get my stamp then left before he could say anything else.

I found Akemi San and asked if she could do a favour. Of course she was happy to.

On the way down the steps, I explained briefly what had happened.

By the time we got to the photographer, all of my other friends had gathered around us too. It was a scene of mayhem as everyone talked at once and tried to read the photographers form.
I blocked out everyone else and stayed focussed on Akemi San. She explained to me that this man was from the Tokushima Tourist Something and was taking pictures for a travel brochure. The form said that they wanted pictures of Gaijin Henro, and thanked me for the pictures I had allowed him to take, but that they already had a lot of pictures so there was a chance they would never use the ones of me, however, they would let me know if they did.
The man then gave us his and his assistant’s business cards.

I asked Akemi San what she thought.

I doubted very much that I would soon see myself on the front cover of a girly magazine dressed in the unsexy Henro clothes I was wearing, so when Akemi San said she felt they were legitimate, I signed the forms.

As we all left and everyone was laughing and recounting the excitement, we were stopped by another man with a camera on a tripod, also asking if he could get a photo. By now I was overwhelmed and pretended not to understand. I kept walking, only turning around once I had gone out the gates, bowing back to the Temple to thank it for having me, then continued down the stairs.

Those men weren’t interested in me, where I was from or why I was doing the Pilgrimage – my appearance just happened to fit a demographic they had been instructed to collect.

I didn't have to be either part of Brangelina for the experience to give me a new appreciation of how it must feel for the Famous People forced to deal with the Paparazzi every day.

The Agony No-one Warned Me About

2006-09-14T09:00:00.001+12:00

May 5 cont...

I was so focussed on my big toes, commiserating with the excrutiating pain they were enduring in the name of the descent that I didn't realise we had descended.

We landed in an idylic little villiage called Nabe that could have been in Switzerland, however, the bright green and rustic quaintness was beiged by the announcement that this was where we were to part from our friends.
I was so spaced out after the days events that I had no idea who was doing what so I was shocked and didn't have the words to say the words that I didn't know what to say anyway.

Many years ago my dear friend at the time, Sean Morrison and I, were talking about respect.
He said that someone had earned his lack of respect.
I double took and said Don't you mean they earned your respect?
No, he said, everyone got his respect as soon as he met them - but they had to earn the lack of it.

This was a philosophy I injested immediately but I was now discovering that it was torturous to let people go whom I respected. I have let go many possessions and ideals, forfeited mana, abandoned comfortable but loveless relationships but every Goodbye felt like a premature Goodbye on this trail and one that I found myself factoring in a quota of dread in the anticipation.

Saying Goodbye to Tsusuo San, Akemi San, Mamasan and her son and the other older woman was like saying Goodbye to a family and it felt wrenching.
When you're alone and have no familiarity with anything around you, seeing the same faces reassuringly and continually in the space of a few hours or days can create such a feeling of warmth and safety that letting go can feel like cutting the cord to an anchor.

I could only wave helplessly, blinded by tears, out the back window as Iwamoto San, Myoko San and I were driven away from our friends who were all waving back at us with the same sadness and regret.
Regret that the time we had together would never have been enough and worse, that we would probably never see each other again.

At that point, with my heart almost in seizures, I didn't know if I could go through this time and agonising time again...

The Food Fiasco

2006-09-14T08:00:00.001+12:00

May 5 cont...

Seeing how unrealistically far away the lodge I was booked into was, Iwamoto San immediately insisted on canceling it and booking me into where we were now headed.
The relief that we didn't have to walk up this precarious winding road was the only preoccupation my mind could manifest to overcome the threatening obsession of remembering whether I had updated my will or not.
It also felt a little bit like when the two teams were being picked and you were the second to last one to be picked. While standing in the line looking back at the last person, there was that guilt lined relief that you weren't them but empathy with their torture. I was feeling like the guilty relieved person when I realised the friends we had just left behind were going to have to walk this tomorrow.

The lodging was another rustic two storied wooden place complete with attic stairs that lead up to our rooms.

Checking in always reminded me of my Skiing days. The urgency to get comfortable was foremost on everyone's agenda so check-ins were usually a hyped up exchange of crucial survival information.
Akemi San had translated for Myoko San who had said that I'd better ask any questions I could while I still had Akemi San because I was on my own in the language department once we left her - but I couldn't think of any right then.
The only one I had now was whether I was booked to have dinner (having requested no meals at the other place) but it didn't feel appropriate to ask when baths and bedding were the obvious topics being negotiated right then.

Carrying a useful lump of concrete up a rock face was preferable to the torture of getting my backpack up those cute, harmless looking vertical attic stairs. With the state my body was in, I would have happily slept in the empty bathtub on the ground floor if given the choice. Luckily, due to my adroit ineptness at putting on the slip-ons and maneuvering all of my material entourage, I was the last to go up them so no-one witnessed my head narrowly avoiding being detached from my neck in the process.

When I finally did get to my room, I just wanted to collapse, forever, but I had a room mate.
I had seen Miyuki San a number of times a few days earlier when I was traveling with Yahiro San. She was thrilled to finally meet me and launched herself at my phrase book with a gusto I found disturbing after such an arduous day.
She must have realised that my eyes were cast down, not because I was in deep contemplation of everything she was saying, but of the orange warmth of my inner eyelids that were seducing me to stay, because she suddenly said I probably wanted to unpack and relax.

Just then, Myoko San arrived wearing her Yukata and urged me to get my laundry. I was wearing most of it, so I hurriedly changed into my Yukata and followed her down to the twin tubs out the back. They were so old that there was a hole in the side and I could see the chamber. My tired brain looked at it with perverse fascination, imagining the carnage it could inflict if it detached itself while on the spin cycle, when I realised Myoko San was now urging me to have my bath.
I was so tired, rather than resist, I just got my shower things and went to the bathroom - deciding to work it all out when I got there. It was spectacularly easy and pleasant and I felt like the latest model fresh off the shelf when I emerged.

When I got back to the room, not being able to hold out any longer, I ate a rice ball left over from the lunch settai. Just as I was finishing it, Miyuki San said it was time for dinner. Feeling like the little girl from the Creme Eggs ad with the telltale signs of cheating down the side of my mouth, I discretely wiped my face as I followed Miyuki San down to the dining room.

Everyone, including another gentleman who we kept seeing during the day, was seated waiting expectantly as we walked in.
As I was following Miyuki San, I kept thinking, This could be very good or this could be very bad.

At first scan of the table it took a monumental effort to hold back the motherload of tears that wanted to explode from my face. All I could see was deep red slabs of raw fish, baby octopus tentacles and other things still too foreign for me to launch my vegetarian taste buds into anything but reverse.
The owner had obviously spent a lot of time and thought on the preparation and by the way she was hovering, I could see she needed to know if I was going to be able to eat any of it, or whether her husband should leave now to get to the local MacDonalds 70kms away before closing.

The one safe bet was always gohan - Rice.

To stop my stomachs threatened appearance, I accepted the bowl of rice Myoko San offered me, then slowly found things that, if not recognizable, didn't look like they could grab hold of my toungue as they went down.

Just when I was gaining confidence that my charade of heartily devouring the food was working, and everyone's attention went to their own plates, my sneaky rice-ball came back to haunt me.

I was very full very quickly.

Much too quickly for my companions sense of an adequate sized meal and I spent the next hour fending off the numerous unsolicited food advances being thrust at me like a Ninja on nightshift...

The End of the Neverending Day

2006-09-14T07:00:00.002+12:00

May 5 cont...

Once everyone had had enough to eat, they stopped prising food onto me and settled into an easy after dinner conversation. They could have been talking about the latest styles in Kimono currently on catwalks in Tokyo and I wouldn't have had the faintest clue. All I was focused on was not falling asleep.

In social situations, when I was a kid, all the other kids would play outside but I always wanted to sit in the corner and be around and watch the adults. Once my father (who was a staunch supporter of the Children Should Neither Be Seen or Heard campaign) realised I wasn't actually listening to what was being said, he would usually allow me to stay. I was always hypnotised by the sing song of their voices and inevitably would come to with my father shaking my shoulder gently saying Wake up Daughter, it's time to go.

After the day of constant waves of physical and emotional demands rolling over me, I felt battered.
The sing song of my friends voices was even more hypnotising because I couldn't understand a word and Myoko San asked a number of times if I was going to bed. If she had also offered me the use of her magic carpet, I know I would have left immediately but the thought of going up those stairs a few more times was, for now, too much to contemplate.

Eventually though I was jolted back to reality when everyone started to get up.
Because I didn't know what the protocol was for payment, I asked when or where I should pay for my lodging.
Myoko San and Iwamoto San exchanged glances then Myoko San said Don't worry, Settai.
Knowing this equated to around $100 NZD, now I did burst into the tears that had been threatening all evening. Everyone looked surprised and a little embarrassed and I just wanted to become one with the Tatami. I thought I had completely blown the respect of my friends with my emotional weakness but when I saw Myoko San's slightly moist eyes, I realised they just weren't used to such an outward response. I was so overwhelmed all I could do was bow, squeezing out hoarse Arigato and Sumimasens before numbly following Miyuki San up to our room.

At last this day that felt like it had 65 hours in it was finally coming to a close.
I got my laundry and hung it up, went to the bathroom and was just having a wind down conversation with Miyuki San and the Phrase book when Myoko San came in.
Tomorrow was going to be our last day together so she wanted to exchange addresses to send photos.
Myoko San then got comfortable and went on to tell Miyuki San about the days events. They laughed a lot and gestured constantly toward me and I could tell, just by the expressions and a few generic words, what Myoko San was telling Miyuki San about. When she got to the tale about the photographer, Miyuki San looked at me with wide eyes saying Ehhhh! which is like our Noooo! and I nodded.

Fortunately I'm not so good at hiding when I'm exhausted, and Myoko San said Good night before I could fracture my nodding forehead on the table we were lounging around.

Miyuki San was asleep within 13 seconds with limbs everywhere and I wrote to the deafening cacophony of frogs in the rice paddies outside the open window.

As I was writing, I kept noticing partial eclipses of the light bulb and I looked up to see a bug that could have been an extra in the Lord of the Rings kamikaze-ing around our room. I was so tired, I didn't feel alarm and calmly caught it in my towel and released it out the window which I then shut - tight.

At last I turned off the light and the last thing I asked the Universe was for a Bambi genre sleep that didn't involve special appearances from either The Fly, Birds or any creature that Gollum
might be related to or consume...

A Renunion

2006-09-14T05:00:00.001+12:00

May 6

My eyes flew open at 5:30, just before my alarm could go off.
I was surprised that this day was the day after yesterday – I had had so many dreams, I felt like I had slept for two days.
The period I was so worried about a few days ago kicked in last night, so I was up every hour. Getting it also explained why I had been so emotional the past few days.
Sometimes, I wished I could just shave my face every day instead of going through this hormonal wringer every month!

Despite half of last nights dreams about nefarious foodstuffs marching single file across tables using chopsticks for crutches, the breakfast was delicious and I was able to redeem myself by eating everything in front of me. Well – all but the pickled plums and raw egg.

Iwamoto, Myoko, Miyuki San’s and I set off together at 6:30.
Miyuki San was a huge head job for me! There was no way my brain would accept that she was 52 and persisted stubbornly believing she was 35. The only sign of fiftyness anywhere near her was Myoko San and she was 62. NTS: Must be more adventurous with diet.

Myoko San, Iwamoto San and Miyuki San
walking through one of the many tiny villages between Temples 12 and 13

My companions were going to Temple 17 today then on to the train station and back to Tokushima, but I was booked into lodging near Temple 13. Iwamoto San indicated we would be at Temple 13 by 3, so, even though I was reluctant to say goodbye yet again, I was admittedly relieved I only had to stagger that far and not all the way to Temple 17. He asked me a few times if I wanted to go with them all the way but I kept saying I would finish at 13. These people were machines!!

Myoko San, Me and Miyuki San (Image sent by Myoko San)

As we walked, I kept my eyes on the ground – I didn’t feel like I could deal with anything steeper than a road hump, so I knew looking up to see mountains would devastate me. I never thought I would be so happy to be walking on asphalt again. As unrelenting as asphalt was, it was always flat and flat was the deal my legs had made with me that morning.

Henro in Formation (Image sent by Myoko San)

The phrasebook was able to tell Miyumi San of my period dilemmas, and I guessed she told Iwamoto San and Myoko San because they were all hyper vigilant at pointing out bathrooms at every gas station, shop and even one under a bridge!
I was finding the simplest necessities surreal in their universality, like ‘bathroom’ issues, but also things like the falling apart twin tub machine we had to use yesterday - our family had one for years. They reassured me that I wasn’t on another planet or amongst aliens afterall.

We stopped at a small shop and Myoko San treated me to my first Japanese icecream. It was kind of like a Styrofoam takeaway container with icecream on the inside except it was only two centremetres thick and the outside was a cone type substance. If I had let the icecream melt a little, it would have been easier to eat, instead the cone kept sticking to the roof of my mouth.
As I was discretely fishing it out, the others started yelling over towards the main road. I turned around and was ecstatic to see the other Mamasan from the day before staunchly walking along. Fortunately for her my hands were full so I wasn’t able to launch myself upon her with hugs of reunion. She was just as happy to see us so got an icecream and joined us.

As we walked, the others talked. I was starting to understand that the Japanese were great story tellers and loved to go over and over events. I didn’t mind them waving their arms in my direction and hearing E San followed by laughter. I couldn’t understand a word but I knew they were outrageously kind and not once did I feel they were being disrespectful. I would, however, have loved an opportunity to laugh with them, even if it was at my expense…

Asphalt Aparition

Different Time Zones - T13

2006-09-14T04:00:00.001+12:00

May 6 cont...

As we were walking, it dawned on me that we were getting close to Temple 13 - but it was only about 12 or so. With a chuckle I suddenly understood that Iwamoto San had been saying 3 hours, not 3 o'clock and that’s why they had been so persistent in asking if I was sure I didn’t want to walk with them to Temple 17.

When we got to Temple 13, I asked if he could cancel my hotel and I would continue with them on to Tokushima that afternoon afterall. It was such an about turn after being adamant I wasn’t going any further that it took them all a while to get what I was telling them. Eventually I found the words in the phrase book for 'save money' and they all laughed with understanding then Iwamoto San not only cancelled my Temple 13 accommodation, he rang The Agnes and told them I would be arriving there that night (not the next night as planned).

I was so happy and relieved. I had saved over ￥10,000 (about NZ $150) with Myoko San and Iwamoto Sans generous o'settai, and being back a day early.

Horses at Shinto Shrine over the road from Temple 13

Unlost Property - T14, 15, 16 & 17

2006-09-14T03:00:00.001+12:00

May 6 cont...

Blinged out Truck

It only took me five minutes to realise I had made a brilliant decision in continuing with my friends because I doubt that I would have got out of Temple 13s town much less found my way to the next temple by myself. We navigated our way around a maze of the little roads between rice paddies trying to find signs – an experience more of psychic discovery than orienteering logic.

Watering Dragon at Temple 15

All of this mental exercise was making me hungry so when we made a sudden detour off the road not far after Temple 14-15 (losing track) and into an Udon Café, my stomach did backflips of joy. The Udon from this little café made our New Zealand Udon look like Vermicilli – it was divineness in a bowl – Oishi!! (yummy). More settai from Myoko San. Everyone laughed when I patted my tummy and indicated that Settai was making me fat.

As we got closer to our last temples I hung back. I was getting teary but didn’t want anyone to see me. Saying goodbye again felt too big for me to handle. These people (Miyuki, Myoko, Iwamoto Sans and Mamasan) had become like a family to me and my chest felt like it had an earthquake inside of it at the thought of leaving them.

I sat next to Myoko San at Temple 16 and tried to convey how much I appreciated their generosity but the words felt untranslatable and came out hollowly – I tried to lighten it by saying my new word for the day - Arigatai. I picked up that it was said humourously as a plural for Arigato meaning lots of thanks. Her responding smile seemed guarded but I think she was feeling a little sad too.

We finished all of our rituals at Temple 17 and were sitting around when an elderly couple came up to me and asked if I was Elena.
I looked at them stupidly and said Hai!
They then gave me a large envelope with my name on it.
I was shocked and ravenously intrigued and kept bowing, saying Arigato.
While I was turning the envelope over, trying to get some clues, they vanished as mysteriously as they had appeared.
There was a note attached to the envelope in Japanese but no-one had the English to explain what it said so I opened it.

It was from the Roadside Hotel where I had stayed two nights earlier. In it were the maps I had left behind on the counter. I will never know how the elderly couple knew where to find me (considering I was going to stop at 13) and I will always be amazed at the timing because we were just about to leave to catch the train to Tokushima.

I thought it was stunning and kept omigodding and crikeying at the integrity of the Hotel and the tenacity of the elderly couple but the others looked at me and shrugged as if it was an everyday occurrence.

Back to Civilisation

2006-09-14T02:00:00.001+12:00

May 6 cont...

By now it was overcast and with the grey of the clouds came a mood of apathy.
We had finished what we had set out to do but it felt very anti-climatic. There was no standing on the stairs, clapping each other on the back, whooping or cheering at our achievement – we were too tired.
We did however, take some pictures to mark the occasion then set off for the train station.

Miyuki, Iwamoto, Myoko Sans and Mamasan outside Temple 17

We made a wrong turn and missed our train but only waited 1/2 hour for next one. I was quite content to sit for a while so Myoko San and Miyuki San went over to the depot to check time tables. When they got back, Myoko San handed me a ticket with a look of satisfaction and affection and said 'Last Settai!'.

Miyuki San gave me a choice of an iced coffee or soda drink. I took the iced coffee then she gave me the remainder of the soda too.
While trying to balance two cans of drink as I texted Gracie about her latest boy interest, I felt a little rude but needed some zone out time.
In between texts, I put the cans next to the rubbish tin with all the other cans neatly piled beside it (the Japanese are dedicated recyclers with bins at every shop or on every corner) then the train arrived and we all got on it.

I sat next to Iwamoto San and again tried to impress how appreciative I was. He seemed embarrassed but pleased.
Iwamoto San commented that his sunburn (a new word for him) hurt so I got out my Tea Tree cream. I told him it was made from a NZ plant and he seemed pleased with that too but I had forgotten how strong Tea Tree smelled and, as he was rubbing it on his arm, Iwamoto San sneezed.

We all got off at Tokushima and bade fond farewells, not wanting to let go of hands and arms.
The Japanese might not be huggers but they did have a form of physical affection that conveyed just as much warmth and meaning as ours did.

I had done my quiet form of grieving earlier so admittedly was ready to move on but still felt a little bit guilty that I didn’t linger longer.
I waved goodbye, then, as I got further up the street, I turned around and waved one last time…

Downsizing

2006-09-13T23:00:00.001+12:00

May 6 cont...

The Agnes was starting to feel like home by now and, even though none of them could speak English, the staff's face always lit up with recognition when I walked in.
My left-behind things were already in my room when I got there but before I could even think about rearranging, I had to sleep, which I did, for an hour.

When I woke, I realised tomorrow was Sunday and if I wanted food etc, I had better get it now before the shops shut. I ventured a bit further afield this time but still ended up back at SOGO. I had learnt what not to get from the last time (lettuce, tofu etc) and mainly got snack and energy foods.

I call this the SOGO Spiral - it was directly outside the SOGO dept store and was a few stories high.
It reminded me of my favourite sculpture at my dear friends RTN's place

I came back to my room and spent an hour sorting.

I had just bought a school sized backpack for ￥500 ($7 NZD) so pulled everything out of the big pack and put everything I didn't need back in it then all that I did need in the small backpack.

Now I only had one pair of shoes (that I was wearing), two indentical sets of Vigilante trampers pants, and white tops, a few tee shirts, underwear, plastic poncho, bathroom stuff and, of course, my second skin - my Icebreaker Hoodie.

What a difference!!
The craziness and humour when looking back on the things we didn't know we didn't know...

Someone to Stalk

2006-09-13T22:00:00.001+12:00

May 7 (17kms)

The alarm in the room went off at 12:10am – I sat up dazed and confused and was relieved it wasn’t time to get up yet.
I finally woke at 6:30 but kept dozing dreaming for about 15 minutes, waking then dozing and dreaming again until about 8. I can’t remember my dreams but I flew in each one of them.

Strangely I started feeling guilty about the time, feeling like I should be on the road, so hurriedly had a shower and went for breakfast. I had a boiled egg and a divine pastry and two cups of coffee. When I left I did my usual and whipped away a small banana and five small butters.

After breakfast I asked to see Takashi San.
He came in and I told him I would like to ask a big favour. I didn't even get a chance to explain about the BIG bag when he instantly said Yes – leave whatever you like for as long as you like. I was thrilled and extremely impressed yet again.
I quickly went up to my room, got my things and returned with my pack. I also booked and paid for June 20th (I fly out June 24th).
I asked if he could translate something on my map and he and some receptionists helped me to find which train I needed to go on to Temple 18.
I thanked them all very much and left for the station.

As I walked in, I saw a young Henro man. I asked him if he was going to 18 and when he said yes, I asked if I could 'follow' him. I asked him when the train was leaving (15 mins) and said I would just pop upstairs for 5 mins.
I zoomed up and was pleased to see Claire San on reception. I gave her a nano second run down of my travels thus far, thanked her again and left.

My young henro was waiting for me by the ticket machine. He helped me get one then we left.
On the train I found his nickname was Taichi San, which, for once, was a name I could remember!!
He was going to all 88 also and in a similar manner to me – walk some – train some.

Deluged - T18 & 19

2006-09-13T21:00:00.001+12:00

May 7 cont...

There was a light mist when we got off the train but it was very warm – 20 degrees.
Not long after Temple 18, it started pouring down. I got out my $2 shop plastic poncho and threw it over myself and my pack then it really pelted down. We walked in thunder and lightening for the rest of the day.

Between Temple 18 - 19. Someone's idea of gathering riveting footage?

I provided little SOGO snacks all the way then we stopped at a tiny roadside place for lunch – almost a shed – run by an older peasant type woman and her elderly mother.
Taichi San ordered something and I drank the green tea (but couldn't eat the sickeningly sweet jelly bar) the daughter gave us as settai. The meal arrived and Taichi San shared it with me. It was the most delicious soup I have ever tasted and I only wished I had a bowl to myself!!

I’m glad we left when we did before I got cold in my wet clothes.

On our way to Temple 19, I saw huge frogs who were very shy, turtles coming up for air and scurrying down again and some large river fish. We also saw a little bright green frog jumping across the road. Taichi San said it was called a Rain Frog.

A pitiful puppy sheltering from the rain between Temple 18 - 19

Luckily Taichi Sans English was good enough that we were able to communicate adequately. He understood most of what I said but he was exceptionally articulate when he spoke. I found out he spent a month in Sydney learning better English.

Taichi San was 27. He had just finished his job and was doing the 88 temples before starting his next job working for his mother. She ran a furniture factory, with a warehouse in Thailand, which was where he would go and live in the Autumn. In his degree he majored in Physcology. I was surprised he hadn’t heard of Yahiro San, who was a physcology lecturer at a University in Nagoya where Taichi San was from. But then, I had no idea how many Universities there might be in Nagoya or even if Taichi San did his degree there or in another city.

At one stage, while we were walking, a car pulled over and I heard the magic word Settai. The man excitedly got out and gave us, and another Henro, a fresh jam bun and hot cans of drink. I said to Taichi San that I had read about people doing this but it was the first time I had experienced it.

MMORPG - T20

2006-09-13T20:00:00.001+12:00

May 7 cont...

We finally got to our hotel (Taichi San had rung ahead and booked us in – bless his saturated socks). We had intended to leave our packs there and walk an hour to Temple 20 but the man said it was a Mountain temple and the track would be muddy and slippery after all the rain, so we took off all our wet gear and came inside.

We went through the process of checking in and paying then Taichi San showed me the bathroom, the shoe drying machine and the washing machine and dryer. He then lead me up to our rooms. He said I could take my bath first and to let him know when I had finished (“could you please teach me when you’re finished”).

I quickly dumped my bags, got my pyjamas, yukata and toiletries and went down.
It was the first fully operational bath house situ I had been in. (The one the other night only had a small bath and it wasn’t operating). I quickly had a shower then dipped my toe into the large swimming pool sized bath. It was far too hot for me, which was a shame because outside the floor to ceiling window was a picturesque wall of native ferns and other plants.
I put my Yukata on and knocked on Taichi Sans door – he said “Oh - you fast!” and looked relieved and happy.

I gathered my laundry and put it in the machine then made myself dinner of a tomato and green pepper sandwhich.
Later on I knocked on Taichi Sans door and asked what time he wanted to start in the morning and said I would see him then. I didn’t want him to think he had to babysit me for the rest of the night and I wanted to relax by myself anyway.

When I went down to put my laundry in the dryer, I saw there were about 20 pairs of shoes. Obviously someone had rented out a large space on the second floor and there were a bunch of men and a few woman all eating, drinking, smoking, laughing and cheering raucously – having a great time.

When I went down again to get my stuff out of the dryer, there was a young Henro, who might have been a monk, waiting for his wash to finish. I said Hello then went back to my room.

My new pack was fantastic and sooo light but by the end of the day my shoulders were getting sore and as I lay down, I could feel a lot of pain in the right one. I regreted not getting a pack with a waist strap.
Oh well – it was only $7 NZD so I could always buy a better one.

I decided to have an early night. I felt refreshed to have eyebrows plucked, nails filed and legs shaved – Yay!

Just then a fight broke out in the hallway – I suspected it was going to be a long night ahead…

TEXTS...

PG to EL:

It sounds like hostility and anger have a Universal Language

EL to PG:

More like boys who can't handle their booze - probably about a geel

RT to EL:

Hw's th journey? wht's th landscape like? I keep imagining u in sm MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) like Anarchy-Online or Everquest...lots of virtual mist & hidden missions in seemingly innocuous pieces of Oriental ceramic...

EL to RT:

Just took pic 4 u of misty mounts out my window! Did 17kms in rain, thunder & lightening-saw big turts & frogs-stpd @ old ladies shed 4 soup-havin a blast!

MMORPG Landscape

SB to EL:

Turtle Soup huh?

Mountain Goat I am NOT!

2006-09-13T19:00:00.001+12:00

May 8

Today was arduous and getting through it, an achievement.

We set off at 8 and within 15 minutes, we were going up a steep path that soon turned into banks and banks of steps. I realized very quickly that my energy was the lowest since I had started on this trip and that today could be a long day.
I also realized that one (albeit large and thick) slice of bread for breakfast was never going to be enough to climb a mountain on!
At one of our breath breaks, Taichi San told me we had another mountain to climb after this one, then a 13km walk.
Good God!!

The steps and the slope were relentless. I think I was so traumatized I can’t even remember Temple 20. Then we went down, and that was torturous too.

When we got to the path to climb the next mountain, we were pleasantly surprised to find a narrow meandering concrete path that ran alongside a trickling stream.
It was actually enjoyable and lasted for a long time but then the inevitable happened…the dreaded steps.
I told Taichi San not to wait, so he left. I’m not sure he was finding it any easier than me.
I trudged and trudged and stopped and trudged some more...

"No really! - You go ahead - Don't worry about me" The back of Taichi San...

Torture and Then Some - T21

2006-09-13T18:00:00.001+12:00

May 8 cont...

Finally I caught up to Taichi San and we entered the Temple grounds but had to climb another 15 minutes up the road – THEN – just to mock me, there was about 100 steps to climb to the actual Temple!

This little Rain Frog must have been exhausted too -
I rested my pack next to it and was still there when I went to put it back on

I could hardly walk.

We didn’t know how high Temple 20 was, but Temple 21 was at 618mtrs altitude.
I felt I had been really tested and thanked Kobo Daishi for helping me up (the gusts of cool breeze, the energy lolly lying on the path still sealed in its wrapper, the momentary spotting of a little possum like hairy animal as it leapt off the tree and bounded away).

After we had our books signed, Taichi San told me we were catching a Cable Car down which truned out to be a huge Gondola. I was thrilled – partly for the break from walking and mostly for the unexpected adventure.
There was a grill in the floor and I loved standing over it and watching the trees pass under my feet.

Treetops Underfoot - Leaving Temple 21

At the bottom, Taichi San suggested we have lunch at the café there. I nodded vigourously and within 5 minutes I was eating Udon noodles for the third time in as many days.
Now we set off on our 13km walk to Temple 22.

Taichi San outside a Shinto Shrine just after finishing lunch and setting off for Temple 22...

On the way I commented to Taichi San that T22 would represent being a ¼ of the way through our pilgrimage.
We had only been walking ½ an hour when I was wondering what was worse – the asphalt and the heat or the mountain steps. Both were severe in their own ways.

We walked for 5 more hours!

Today had been by far the most strenuous since I started. In desperation I listened to my MP3 player which got me through another hour or two.

At one point I texted SMG asking what was a good thing that happened to him today then checked every minute to see if he had replied. I knew he didn’t check his phone very often, so I stopped looking.
About 30 minutes later, I got one of his glorious long texts then 30 minutes later, another one.
By now I was verging on collapsing so promised myself a phonecall to him when I got to my hotel and that became my focus.

That was in the worst part of the day between Temple 22 and the train station, and seemed to take forfuckingever!!

At last we got there and the ½ hour wait for the train was heaven and the train trip bliss.
Taichi San had been kind enough over the past two days to ring ahead and book our accommodation. Tonight was a hotel at 6,500 yen.
Being the same price as The Agnes, I expected it to be beautiful but it was like a run down HiDeHi campers place. Didn’t Care!!

As soon as I got to my room, I collapsed onto the Tatami and called SMG. It was the best treat I could have given myself and after 20 minutes, I felt fully revived and happy again.
When I got off the phone, I poured myself a green tea then emptied the hot water urn into the basin (that only had a cold tap) and had a sponge bath – soaking my feet (as SMG had suggested).

Quarter Mark Reflection

2006-09-13T17:00:00.001+12:00

May 8 cont...

So – I'm a quarter of the way through my journey and it's taken 7 days.
At this rate I should be finished by the end of the month.
My only regret thus far is that I didn’t put more research and thought into my stamp record.
I bought the first book I was shown at Koya San but later on I worked out it only had enough pages for 40 stamps. I wish I had bought a scroll, which it turns out is for this pilgrimage despite what Hiroki San told me. If I had a scroll, I could hang it up and look at it everyday to remind myself of my achievement.

I made a plan today.
I will buy a scroll at the next Temple which will be the first of the next prefecture, Kochi. I will get the rest of my stamps on it then find a way of getting the first 22 on it later. I'm not even going to think about the fact that this makes it a 110 Temple pilgrimage!!

Some of the observations I have made…

I sincerely believe Kobo Daishi is with me and I trust him and his judgement. When I relax and take each day as it presents itself, I am looked after – all I need to do is put in leg work.

Money, so far, is lasting well. I buy what I need, no more, no less

I have been following a different person everyday and I notice that everyone chooses their steps differently. I don’t take the same steps as the person in front of me and I think this is a metaphor for this pilgrimage. Everyone does as much or as little of it and for their own personal reasons – that are no less meaningful than mine and they all take their own unique path.

For what I set out to prove to myself…I've manifested the finances, I've overcome the barrier to give up. I've well surpassed my anticipated levels of endurance. I've been tested mentally and have been able to think creatively, although I don’t think I've had the worst of that challenge yet.

I think it’s raining outside, so I'll be pleased to be in vehicles tomorrow.

I forgot to mention the first day Taichi San and I walked together, he asked me if I had one of their little books that has the Heart Sutra in it. I said No because I didn’t understand it anyway. He showed me his then said he would write it out for me. I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant but the next morning as we started walking, he handed me a photocopy of Prayers 14 – 25, and he had hand written the English pronunciation for every character so I could read it. I was so amazed, I didn’t know what to say. And who knows where he got access to the photocopier!

Taichi San's miracle work - the Heart Sutra with English sub titles...

The Reluctant Leader - T23

2006-09-13T16:00:00.002+12:00

May 9 (13kms)

After yesterdays lack of energy, I asked Taichi San to order me breakfast with my room. I went down at 6:30 and ate almost everything on my tray.
Taichi San came down soon after.
After breakfast we got our things and went down to pay.
I admit I expected (irrationally) for the hotel to try and charge more. On the sheet Claire San gave me it said the prices started at 8,400 yen but they quoted Taichi San 6,500. When I paid it was only 5,250. I was really pleased and a little ashamed.

We walked over the street to Temple 23. At the stamp office, I was elated to finally get a scroll. There was a picture of Kobo Daishi I had always been attracted to and there was a scroll with the exact picture in the middle. It was 20,000 yen but felt to me like an investment.

Taichi San had informed me that he was going to walk and sleep outside for a few days but said he would come with me to the next train station so he could put me on a bus for Muroto - where my next temple was.

We went to the train station but our train didn’t leave for another 45 minutes so we just sat. Last night I had written an extensive analysis of Taichi Sans numbers (numerology) so as we sat, I went through them with him. He had a stunning line up of leadership numbers, both 9s and 1s. I told him he had no choice – he was born to be a leader.
After I told him about it more in depth, he said his Mother and Grandfather had told him all his life he was to be a leader and he always said No No.

I still get surprised (and sometimes frustrated)when someone who has such a natural commanding stature and presence is not aware of it, or shirks from it. Taichi San handled everything calmly, gently yet solidly and without question. He researched quietly and only came to me when he had answers or decisions - of which he presented in a dispassionate non attached manner. I only had two days with him but I felt like I was in the present of future greatness.

I thought he would need to wait to get a translation of what I had written but he sat for the next half hour on the train and read the whole 10 pages.

We got off the train then within five minutes I had said hurried goodbyes to Taichi San and was on the bus to Temple 24.

Muroto By The Sea - T 24 & 25

2006-09-13T15:00:00.001+12:00

May 9 cont...

Muroto

The bus driver dropped me and two other older women off at the stop for Temple 24. I asked if I could follow the women when I found out they were going there also.
Lo and behold – another gazillion stairs, but this time I had the energy from the good breakfast.

We did our thing then the women asked if I wanted to come with them to the next temple. At first I said yes but then I realized they were catching a taxi so I politely declined and asked which way to walk. They pointed back the way we had come.

Taxi Henro - Temple 24

I looked at my map and asked some other people who were just arriving - they pointed to the road that lead up the side of the cliff we were on. I liked that option more. Twice as long but 10 times easier. They then gave me 500 yen as settai.

I was finally walking solo and it felt good. I talked, laughed and sang to myself all the way to the next temple. I found it easy enough and even managed to buy something to eat on the way.
Temple 25 was right by the sea in Muroto and even though it was drizzling, it was still beautiful.

As I was walking along beside the main road, I found a pair of navy blue wet weather trousers flapping in the wind, wrapped around a pole. I unwrapped them and held them up - they were in perfect condition and felt like they were a gift from the Universe so tied them to my bag to put on later. Yay! Just what I soooo needed!

Luckily I could read Japanese numbers! Signpost between T24 & 25

I quickly rang Father to say all was well. He said they had all been getting my texts (even though they didn’t reply) which was a relief to know. I told him about all the stairs I had been climbing and took a picture so I could show him later what I was looking at as I was talking to him...

Temple 25

The bell in the tower you can see at the top of the above stairs

I set off for Temple 26.

A dead porcupine fish the size of my palm lying in the gutter - Muroto

Yamamoto San from Temple 26 - Not

2006-09-13T14:00:00.001+12:00

May 9 cont...

Temple 26 was another one on top of some ranges and if there were nasty stairs, I thankfully never found them and walked easily up the road for an hour or so.

I got my stamp (now costing 500 yen on the scroll – 200 yen more than on the book).

This was the Temple that the kind Blue monk from the Temple 1 shop – Yamamoto San – said to ask for him when I got there. He said I could stay with him for a night. So as the monk finished off the stamp, I asked if Yamamoto San was there.

He had never heard of him.

He spoke no English so I didn’t know what to do!

I went outside to think about my next move. It was late in the afternoon, the next temple was a long way away and I had no idea how I was going to find accomodation. I hadn't even considered this possibility!

Thankfully the monk came out and offered to ring Yamamoto San from the number he had written on my bag with the vivid marker.
He finally got hold of him then, through my phrase book, indicated I was to wait.
He said ‘5’. I had already learnt that could mean 5 minutes or 5 o’clock – so I sat.

I’m glad I got to wait an hour because I was able to observe 3 – 4 busloads of Henro come through the Temple. It was fascinating to watch the way the different priests operated, the way the Henro did their rituals, rang the huge bell, lit their incense and candles, voiced their ‘sutras’ etc. It was like a well oiled if a little chaotic production line. I can see why the stamp places are open from 7am to late in the afternoon – stamps bring in big bikkies for the Temple coffers.

I noticed, with interest, two ladies in one of the parties. When they arrived, they were bent over double, as was common amongst older people who had worked in the fields most of their lives. Amazingly, I then saw them standing upright, leaning back with hips thrust forward as if balancing precariously on them. I'm not sure how they got themselves into that position but it gave me a small sense of relief that they had that option.

A Minor Case of Meditation

2006-09-13T13:00:00.001+12:00

May 9 cont...

Eventually Yamamoto San arrived, dressed up in his best monk finery – he looked very austere and impressive. He seemed very rushed and I had a feeling there was something in the communication with the stamp guy and him that I had missed.

I ran after him as he sped past the latest bus Henro. He may have been embarrassed to have a scraggly gaijin trailing behind him.
He led me to his car which had a driver. As we sped down the winding road I had earlier walked up, Yamamoto San made reference to me, and he and the driver shared laughs back and forth for the next 10 minutes with ‘New Zealando’ and ‘E san’ amongst the words I understood.

We drove for what seemed like an hour finally turning off and driving up narrow winding concrete roads that were more like footpaths raised between rice paddies. We finally passed a Temple and pulled in on the other side of it.

Yamamoto San ushered me around to the front. He knew no English whatsoever so there were a few laughs as he tried to show me where to put my things and what shoes to wear.
Once he had changed (I managed to get a photo before he did) he quickly rang someone, talked a bit, then passed the phone to me.

Yamamoto San in his finery

It was a woman called ‘Erico’ and she spoke English. She translated that Yamamoto San wanted to know if I ate Japanese food.
I said Yes but no meat.
After I got off the phone, Yamamoto San showed me around.

When we were in the main Temple, I made a reference to a mudra one of the deities had and before I could say Show Me The Cushion I was plonked on one of the many around the walls, and struggled to obtain a pseudo lotus position.

Yamamoto San was trying to explain something then decided I should sit across the room from him. He was quite fidgety. He must have got hot with his rushing around and jumped up to open the big doors. As he was, we both heard someone outside.

It was a kind looking Old Monk who I instantly wanted to keep forever.

He ushered him in and they both sat opposite me on cushions in lotus position obviously getting ready for meditation. I had a feeling this was going to be bad for me – or at least my body!!
Yamamoto San rang something, banged something then we meditated for half and hour. I became ‘transparent’ through the pain in my legs all the while trying not to fall asleep and keep a straight back (and face).

Suddenly there was a loud clang which jangled my nerves, clearly this meant meditation was over.

As I unfolded my legs, one of them was completely dead – no feeling at all. My legs often 'go to sleep' in bed, but this was the most complete deadness I had ever felt - my leg wasn't there.
We all laughed a lot as I tried to stand.
Eventually I started to get feeling back which inevitably was followed by severe pins and needles.

Bath house Bewilderment

2006-09-13T12:00:00.001+12:00

May 9 cont...

Next Yamamoto San was getting towels and indicating we were going to eat. I didn’t know where we were going or what was going on but I did my best to follow his lead.
The three of us went back around the side where the driver had dropped us off and Yamamoto San had driven his own little car out of the garage.

We drove for what seemed like and hour. I was a little worried because we were obviously expected to have a bath somewhere but I didn’t know how it was going to be. I admit to being worried that these two men, whom I had just met and knew nothing about, were luring me to some covert bath house just to see me naked. I didn’t know. I had no reference points to guide myself by. And I had heard stories about dodgy Monks.

As it turned out, it was completely above board and evidently a huge treat.
Yamamoto San paid for me, gave me a ticket, led me down a hallway, swapped the ticket for a key, took the key to a locker, put my bag and phone in locker and put the key chain around my wrist, I got pointed toward a door to what was obviously a changing room, then he vanished.
I stumbled in then stood frozen with bewilderment.

I didn’t know what to do.

I had never been to a bath house so I didn’t know if it men and women bather together or not.
There were a few naked women sitting around a young (fully dressed) mother with a toddler.
I asked her if she spoke English and she said ‘Little’.
Through her I found out that this section was women only. Then she ushered me toward the changing area. But I wasn’t ready to bath with a bunch of strangers and I still had my period, so in tears of confusion I indicated both to the young woman. She led me back out and got me a refund. Feeling 10 kilos lighter with relief, I got my things from the locker and went back to the entrance to wait for the others.

The older Monk was sitting on a couch having a cigarette.
He looked surprised and quickly stubbed his smoke out.
I pointed to the phrase books words for ‘embarrassed’ and ‘menstruation’ to which he ashoed and went straight into writing his name (Narabe San) and address, telling me about his boss, showing me his pictures etc – hardly skipping a beat (or taking a breath!) and giving me a fan that he had painted a Japanese character on.
He also explained I was not to call Yamamoto San by that name – his name was actually Yoko Yamamoto but I was to call him something else.
Unfortunately the something else sounded to similar to ‘orcashe’ which I had learnt meant ‘crazy’ so I was too scared to call him anything at all. (I later learnt that the name, O'Sha San, meant Temple Master).
We left when O'Sha San came out. I gave him his money back and Narabe San explained my drama briefly. There was no look of surprise or disappointment or even embarrassment. He just put the money away and we left.

In Search of Sashimi

2006-09-13T11:00:00.001+12:00

May 9 cont...

They asked if I like fish. I said Yes and we drove to two nearby restaurants but they were both closed.
We then drove for over an hour to another restaurant, that was like a Cobb and Co, and had a delicious meal there.
I had sushi and the Monks had sashimi. O'Sha San paid for us all. While he was sorting the bill out, I quickly bought a pad knowing I needed something to write on but feeling hypercritical for indicating to O'Sha San when I first met him that I had no money, then him paying for dinner.

As we drove back, I lay on my towel in the back seat and closed my eyes. I heard my name being mentioned a lot and at one stage ‘settai’ came up a number of times.
When O'Sha San picked me up at the Temple earlier in the day, he asked where my stick was. I said I had given it away as settai to Yahiro San.
I remember paying for the stick myself but I had the feeling O'Sha San thought he had paid for it as settai when he bought me the bag. Maybe he did and I didn’t know but he mentioned it to his driver and I had a feeling he was talking about it with Narabe San now. I don’t think he was happy that I gave it away.

We stopped at a supermarket then returned to O'Sha Sans Temple.
Narabe San showed me to the bathroom area and I was thrilled to see that everything was modern and clean. I had a wonderful shower then lay out my bedding in the large sleeping hall.

As I was writing this in the near dark, I became aware that Narabe San was sleeping in a room nearby. We were also getting up at 6am so I cut it short and went to sleep.

What a surreal day!!

Saying Goodbye to my Two Favourite Monks

2006-09-13T10:00:00.001+12:00

May 10

I had a good nights sleep and woke before the alarm around 5:30.
O'Sha San walked around the verandah outside my room, out to the Temple, and did his morning ritual. With the instruments and chanting I thought he had others with him but I could see through my screen he was by himself. He had a unique sound and I enjoyed listening to him.

I got up and dressed.

O'Sha San finished up and summonsed me to his little lounge type room then switched on the TV - I guessed it was my babysitter until Narabe San came in.
He then came in with four photograph albums. It was interesting to see him through the years as Henro with dark curly hair and same expressionless face, then at his investiture, then at his temple with various guests.
Although he didn't show much expression, I knew he was extremely caring and kind.

Narabe San told us breakfast was ready and I was somewhat relieved to see two fat slabs of toast, margarine and marmalade. There was a bowl of yohurt too but I indicated to my stomach and said I couldn’t eat it – it wasn’t completely true health wise but I would have thrown up if I forced myself to eat it – Yoghurt is something I have to really crave otherwise it makes me nauseous.
Narabe San also made me a coffee which was the best I had had in Japan, even though it was instant.

I went to my room and got a piece of paper out of the new pad, and my calligraphy pen, and wrote a thank you note in calligraphy.

“To my favourite Monks – with much gratitude for your kindness, generosity and laughter. From your friend E”

They were really chuffed and fussed over where they were going to put it.
I then took a picture of the three of us.

O'Sha San and Narabe San

I got my gear together, put my wet weather stuff on then O'Sha San brought in a gift – A beautifully presented calligraphy character in an exquisite blue envelope. I think he had done it himself.

I thanked him wildly then he led me out to show me his one lily in the pond by the little bridge to the temple.
He then took me out to the side and took a photo of me in front of the Temples sign, the same place all the other guests had posed. An honour.

When it was time for me to leave, he started leading me out the front gate but I said Sumimasen and ran back and tapped on the window to say goodbye to Narabe San. He seemed surprised and bowed animatedly from inside.
I quickly caught up with O'Sha San who walked me almost to the main road. We passed a dead snake on the way.

We heard yelling and I turned around to see Narabe San with his umbrella waving frantically from the Temple gate.

I told O'Sha San he didn’t need to go all the way to the main road with me so he took another picture of me then waited and waved as I carried on.
Everytime I looked back he was still standing there and we would wave again.
The last time I turned around, when I had reached the main road, he had gone.

I waved anyway.

My Two Favourite Monks Reappear - T27

2006-09-13T09:00:00.002+12:00

May 10 cont...(10km walk, 180 drive)

I knew we had driven quite a way from Temple 26, where O'Sha San had picked me up, so we were closer to Temple 27 but I was still dismayed when, after walking 2 kms or so, there was a sign saying Temple 27 was 22kms away.

After another hour of walking in the drizzle, I was already starting to feel weary (late night writing and early morning wake up) so I started looking for a bus stop, buying some tomatoes from a roadside stall so I could have a tomato sandwhich for dinner.
I was just coming into the next little township when a car pulled up beside me. It was O'Sha San and Narabe San who indicated that I get in. What a relief!! I was so happy to see them.

They drove me to Temple 27, got out with me and took me through their rituals. As we were heading back to the car, Narabe San attempted to teach me part of the sutras. I don’t know the actual name but he called it Hanya Shinkyo. When I realized what he was talking about, I showed him the photocopy Taichi San had made for me. He was pleased. He asked for a pen and drew brackets around the last 5 lines – which was what he had been trying to teach me.

At least we were now literally on the same page.

When we were in the car, he got me to recite it with him over and over. It went like this…Gya Tei Gya Tei Ha Ra Gya Tei, Ha Ra Sou Gya Tei, Bo Ji So Wa Ka – Han Ya Shim Gyou.
He was really patient and while he and O'Sha San talked and laughed, I kept mouthing it in the back seat over and over until I had memorized it.

I asked about buses and Narabe San pointed to OSha San and said “He drive you San Ju Ban” (Temple 30).
I arigatoed myself to tears. What a surprise! They laughed.

Driving Me Crazy With Generosity - T28, 29 & 30

2006-09-13T08:00:00.001+12:00

May 10 cont...

As we drove along, they chatted and I kept chanting the sutra then at each Temple, Narabe San would say the whole Hanya Shinkyo until he came to the part he had taught me, when he would slow down, leaning toward me indicating that I was to join in. I got tongue tied with the foreign words not wanting to work in my mouth but everytime we got back in the car, I would keep chanting it quietly, determined to get it.

At one stage we were going up a precariously narrow mountain road when we met a four wheel drive coming down the other way. In pulling over to allow it to pass we slid off the side of the road, coming to rest against the barrier.
O'Sha San and Narabe San just laughed and in a feat that was nothing short of miraculous, O'Sha San managed to carefully back up and not only get out of the mud we had been stuck in, but do it without a scratch on the car from disentangling from the barrier!

We meandered around Temples 28 and 29 then after Temple 30, I said “Wow! Arigato" And asked again about bus/train/hotel?

Narabe San pointed to O'Sha San and said “He drive you to Temple 36”.
I was overcome with amazement and was speechless. I sat in the back racked with noiseless sobs.
180kms and 8 hours of driving, getting in and out in the rain, walking up countless stairs, waiting patiently as I got stamps and helping me with the sutra - through 9 Temples.
9 Temples!
This was the most overwhelmingly generous thing anyone (any two!) had ever done for me (and I’ve had generosity showered upon me all my life), and I didn’t know what to say but I had to find a way of saying something.

I rang Akemi San, then Taichi San with no luck.
Next I rang Chiharu in New Zealand and asked if she would translate for me. She said she would be happy to.

Through tears and a tight throat of emotion, I said that there were no words to express how grateful I was and that I would remember this day for the rest of my life, then I handed the phone to Narabe San (O'Sha San was navigating yet another steep hillside climb). Like everything else, he took it in his stride without fuss, laughed and talked to Chiharu then handed the phone back to me.
I thanked Chiharu profusely then asked her what he said to her. She told me he was very happy to do it then she said “You’re lucky – he’s a very kind man!”. Which set me off again.

As Narabe San was telling O'Sha San what Chiharu said, I was saying thankyou and goodbye because we had reached another temple.

It was a challenge switching back into ritual mode...

A favourite of Narabe Sans

A Realisation - T 31 to 35

2006-09-13T07:00:00.001+12:00

May 10 cont...

Temples 31, 32, 33, 34 and 35 became a blur.
I didn’t know it a the time but we were racing against the clock to get to Temple 36 before the stamp office closed. I had found it both entertaining and exciting as we sped along, not only on the main roads, but on the small Henro paths that were mostly for walking. Like all my other ‘guidos’, O'Sha San seemed to have an intuitive sense of where to turn even though there were not always obvious signs. I felt like I was in a movie.

At one of the Temples, I had felt the stress of hurrying, then O'Sha San slipped on a step and bent his leg back - he was a little embarrassed, so at the next Temple I said to them Stay Stay, I run! to save them getting any wetter than they were.

I sped off, said my Gya Teis by myself and was just running back to the stamp office when they both came up the steps toward me. It was then that I realized it was an adventure for them too but more than that, this was their life and work so going to a string of Temples they wouldn’t normally visit was just as much a privilege for them as for me.
Also – I admit I missed not having them with me, so when they got out at the next Temple, I was quite relieved.

Game Set - You On Own - T36

2006-09-13T06:00:00.001+12:00

May 10 cont...

As we were doing our last mad dash between Temples 35 and 36, I started getting waves of sadness at the inevitable goodbyes fast approaching - as I had with my previous companions - but told myself to keep it together.
We just made it to Temple 36 in time. We all raced up the stairs (even Narabe San kept up with me) and all three of us said the sutra (O'Sha San often waited somewhere else). When we got back in the car, Narabe San said “Game set – You on own!” and we all laughed.

By now it was getting darker and the mist completely enveloped the valleys around us so O'Sha San could just only see the road.
We drove for about 20 more minutes through windy roads then streets. They were constantly discussing (what I guessed to be) what they were going to do with me now.

I had a list that Claire San had given me, of accommodation around all 88 Temples, so I pointed them out. I heard Narabe San say Suzaki Station so I pointed to the one that was ‘Between T36 and 37, near Susaki Station’. They didn’t completely understand then O'Sha San pulled over at a Police Station and went inside to ask.
He came out. After discussion with Narabe San, who then said to me ‘Where?’, I looked up my phrase book and said Doko Mo – anywhere! They laughed again and repeated it a few more times but I think they were quite relieved.

We drove past a few hotels that I pointed at wistfully, when O'Sha San said in a rare English moment ‘Japanese sta…? and I thought he was going to say station, like JR, I said Hai! JR station!
Then we drove past a hotel and he said again Japanese sta? which I suddenly realized he was meaning did I mind staying in a Japanese stay? I said Hai Hai!! But then we pulled up at the train station.
I was confused but got out and followed them. They stood in front of the time table board and pointed and discussed vigourously then called me over. Narabe San pointed to 7:04 and 7:54 – my heart plummeted – did I really have to catch a train tonight – how was I going to find anywhere to stay that late at night? Thank goodness I worked out that it was in 24 hours, it didn’t mean 7 tonight, it meant in the morning. I was so relieved!!

I said Hai! Tomorrow! I pointed to 7:54 then they took me over to show me on the route map, where we were now, and where I needed to go. I asked how much and they pointed to the 640 yen button. I excitedly said Hai Hai Wakarimasen! Yes I understand. O'Sha San asked for a pen and paper and wrote it all down anyway.

We got back in the car then less that a minute later we suddenly pulled over at a Japanese Hotel. We all got out and went inside. After much Japanese I didn’t understand at all, they had arranged for my stay and breakfast. I paid the owner then went out with O'Sha San to get my stuff. I thrust 4000 yen at him and said Onegai Shimasu – Please! with such desperation that I think he took it so I wouldn’t cry again.

We went back inside and while Narabe San was writing their address down, O'Sha San presented me with more gifts – a pack of watercolour pencil sketch postcards and a scroll of 10 or so deities, which he unwrapped delicately to show me.
I was omigodding and arigataiing and trying to hold back tears until Narabe San stood up and shook my hand to say goodbye.
Then I couldn’t hold them back anymore. He held my hand with such tenderness yet strength, looking deep into my eyes as he said Arigato gozaimasu and bowed deeply.
I then did the same to O'Sha San as I clutched his gifts to my chest.

O'Sha Sans parting gifts

The lady owner had tears in her eyes too and came and stood and waved with me until they were out of sight.

My two dear favourite Monks - O'Sha San and Narabe San

Winding Down

2006-09-13T05:00:00.001+12:00

May 10 cont...

We came back in but I was beside myself.
She took me up to my room and I said incredulously “They drove me (indicating a steering wheel) Kyu Ban (9 Temples) today!”
She looked in confusion and blankness at me then she said in amazement Kyu Ban desu ka! I said Hai! And started a fresh round of sobs.

I felt overwhelmed.
I pointed at the tea box and said ‘Kocha!”. I think she was relieved for the diversion and filled the electric urn. I got myself together and asked where the bathroom was which led to a tour of the facilities.
I came back to my room, got my laundry and night clothes and toiletries then went down and had a shower.
I sobbed the last of my grief and gratitude in the shower, got dressed, put on a load of washing and returned to my room.
I needed to share the days events with someone but decided to write a summary text instead and sent it to a few people.

I was starting to feel better and made myself a tomato sandwhich and green tea.
I then spent the next hour answering reply texts and checking laundry.

As I started writing the days events, it suddenly occurred to me that I had suggested Taichi San look up Yamamoto San at Temple 26 when he got there.
I thought I should ring him and tell him that not only was his name not Yamamoto San but that he didn’t reside at Temple 26.
Taichi San was astounded when I told him about the day and kept saying Wow!
He wasn’t sure if he could drop in on them but he was really appreciative of me calling him though.

TEXTS...

CLM to EL: (My 17 year old son)
How humbling! And I bet they thought nothing of it either. I hope you remembered your manners Miss Lefever!

EL to CLM:
I think it was a big deal for them too. They were always laughing. I did my best with manners. The old one called me Miss E San

MM to EL:
Mikel says we hav lost u. That u r going to discover t97 and we will never see u again. Is this true?

Clarity on Religion

2006-09-13T04:00:00.001+12:00

May 10 cont...

When I finally got back to my room, I wrote non stop for two hours. Fittingly, it is all on the pad I bought at the Fish restaurant while with O'Sha San and Narabe San, and is almost already used completely on them.

I’ve been overwhelmed the generosity shown to me – an orcashe gaijin henro who speaks such little Japanese - but I can’t see how today could be topped ever!

Not once did I see either of those two men lose patience. They laughed and chatted continuously throughout the whole day. It was endearing to see them enjoying each others company and I was always so grateful every time Narabe San tried to communicate with me.
Despite lack of English and Japanese, respect, kindness and affection was communicated endlessly.
Each Monk had a distinctly different personality but neither was more or less endearing.
Narabe San told me that if I was ever in Japan again, I must look them up but I would in fact make a special trip to Japan just to see them

I had an interesting yet unsurprising realization this morning while O'Sha San was doing his ritual. I’m not religious at all. I don’t get it. I’m not attracted to it and have no affinity with any of it – ironic that I choose to visit 88 buddhist temples!
Of course I already knew I wasn’t a religious person but it had always been a blurry line I had never seen with such clarity.
It became crystal clear this morning. Another aspect of myself now in context.

As has happened the whole way – we were weaving in and out of bus Henro as well as car and walking Henro, often recognizing people after we had seen them a few times. As we got to the Hotel this afternoon and Narabe San was writing down his details, a couple I had said Konichiwa to a number of times, arrived to check in.
Narabe San found out they were going to T27 tomorrow also.
I starting to wonder how random these coincidences really were.

A Layish Day - T37

2006-09-13T03:00:00.001+12:00

May 11 (4.5km walk, 200kms drive)

Bizarrely, I woke suddenly as my pull string light turned on about 11pm. I don’t know if I did it in my sleep but I was very dazed for a minute or so.

I noticed this morning that my lower legs have become thicker.

Vodafone is racking up some bad Karma with me!!
First not being able to get on the network when I got to Tokyo – they hadn’t finished the paperwork process. Then getting the texts to say I had run out of credit and needed to top-up even though I understood that being on Global Roaming took away the need to top-up.
This morning I got a text to say that I had gone over my limit.
What?!
Two days ago they texted me to say my balance was $110 and today it was $350 – seemed like a huge jump in two days with one brief phonecall to my Father.
I got hold of a great customer service guy called David.
He sent me with an endearing text saying he was in a meeting and would sort my problem out in an hour or so and to ‘hang tough till then’. What a sweetie.

I got off the train that O'Sha San and Narabe San gave me the directions for and my first priority was to send their gifts back to The Agnes in Tokushima. As it happens, the Temple 37 was only one block away from the train station and the Post Office.
I said my Gya Teis and lit two incense and said a thankyou prayer for my two favourite monks.
I found out at the stamp office that I was to go back to the train station and catch another train, then bus to the next Temple , and I had an hour to fill.
I wanted a layish day and it seems I got one.
The warm slow sunny day felt refreshing after yesterdays damp sprint around the 9 temples.

I wandered around the streets and bought a bun even though I wasn't really hungry and was just telling myself I would have to save it for later, when a lovely older woman stopped me and gave me some money as settai – it was a little more than what the bun had cost me so I felt I could eat it.

Row of street lights not far from Temple 37

At a store I bough a book, a pair of scissors, a butter knife (my little plastic one had snapped), and small flannel and a blank CD in the hope of being able to transfer pics off phone. I went to a photo reprinting store and asked if they could help me but they looked at me as if they were tossing up whether to call security - I guessed that meant no.

As I was waiting at the train station, another Henro arrived. We worked out that when I caught the bus after the train reached the end of the line, he was going to walk. We were thrilled to see the train was a coach class one with luxury seats. As I wrote, feeling blissful sitting in the luxury with the sun streaming in, the other Henro leant over a gave me a prayer bead bracelet for good luck as settai.

I put it on immediately feeling sure it was going to be a good day...

The Cliffhanger - T38

2006-09-13T02:00:00.001+12:00

May 11 cont...

Rice paddies are a fascination to me. They’re literally everywhere including in the middle of cities. There are often tall apartment buildings surrounded by them.

I have not seen one head of livestock in all the traveling I have done thus far. Not a single one. I wonder where Shikoku gets its meat from?

Its nice to be walking around not only in the sunshine but with shops being open now that Golden Week is over. Shops can be so obscure – and often look like someones front room in their house – which I suspect they are.

I finally heard back from David from Vodafone. He texted to say that all my texts are by prepay but it is a surcharge that goes on the account. He said he put $50 onto my prepay. I asked if that was going on to my account, if not, how did he want me to pay for it. He replied saying it was his gift to me from him and to stay well. I was textless!! The spontaneous generosity of people, especially since I had been on this trip, reminded me there was hope on this dysfunctional planet and to never give up.
I thanked David over and over and said I would say a prayer for him at the next temple.

I felt a bit bad today driving past all the walking Henro. I knew what a trek it was they were doing but I also know that each of our treks are different and today was just as arduous in other ways, as when I walk for 8 hours. Also – my money passed the half way mark so I have to be careful, getting as far as I can in one day to save on accomodation.

The drive on the bus to Temple 38 was a cliffhanger. We drove around a coast where, sometimes, the road was only as wide as the bus and I could see out my window directly into the ravine metres below.

Notice how close we are to the rail next to the window!

At one point we stopped for a few minutes. I quickly guessed we were waiting for another bus to come the other way so it could get past.

When we arrived, the busdriver told me he would be departing back the way we came in 30 minutes so I ran to the Temple, did my thing and said a prayer for David, getting back with 10 minutes to spare. I ducked into a huge restaurant to eat something where there was a busload of Henro, who I recognised from the day before. I asked one sitting by himself what it was he was eating. He showed me on the menu so I ordered that.

As the bus Henro were leaving, they all said, jovially, hello and goodbye and one of the ladies asked me a few questions in English. She reminded me of the people I had been warned about who will stop an English person and insist on speaking English for practise (also to show off their prowess to those around them).
I could tell from her eyes that she was very kind though and made a fuss of her not-so-good English.

I finished my lunch just in time for the bus to leave...

Gods Face

2006-09-13T01:00:00.001+12:00

May 11 cont...

Another realisation...
As I drove past fields and fields of rice that the people working in them, I understood why the houses were so messy and disorganized – it’s because the owners work so damned hard!

Not long after that I got to see Gods face again.

The last time I saw Gods face in someone was in Wellington just before I left. I stopped to talk to the man with the bike (Colin) who sets up in Manners Mall and sings (albeit badly). As I talked to him, he was sitting on a chair looking up at me. I told him that I had noticed how much he had improved over the past six months.
He said Really? He then told me he'd been setting up and singing for over 10 years and that he gave all his donations to a Christian childrens fund. My comment then rang in my ears as patronising, however, the look on his face was so pure and unclouded by judgement or ego I felt like I was talking to God.

In the afternoon, there were gorgeous primary school children getting on and off the buses. I could see the bus drivers all enjoyed the children, chatting and laughing and asking them questions about their day.
At each of the stops there was usually someone waiting for them – either their farm worker mothers or grandparents.

At one stop, two little boys, they may have been twins, got off and as I watched out the window, I saw their grandmother and mother greet them. The mother was dressed in field worker clothes and had a baby strapped to her back but the look of absolute delight when her boys got off the bus could have been the loving glow of God himself being reunited with his beloved children.
I was moved and felt privileged to witness it.

OKOK - T39

2006-09-12T23:00:00.001+12:00

May 11 cont...

I did two trains and four buses today to get to Temple 39, which is out the back of beyond. I got off the last bus, got directions from a guy at a Tackle Shop right beside the bus stop and set off. Suddenly I realized the next temples office would be closed by now so I went back to the tackle shop.
Herich San helped me find accommodation then walked me to it!
As we walked up the drive, I had a bad feeling. There were old motors and junk everywhere and the guy was old with no teeth and the place reeked of stale cigarette smoke. He told Herich San on the phone it was 6000 yen but at that stage I hoped it could be a wonderful homestay.

When Herich San introduced me, I felt like the man was mocking me, he kept saying OkOk sarcastically and his body language and I started feeling uneasy over his eagerness when showing me the bath area that was in a sort of garage that had flimsy bamboo screens blocking it from the rest of the room.
After looking around, and with the feelings I was getting, I said it was too expensive. I told them I was used to paying 6000Yen for a hotel room, and I would walk back with Herich San then walk into the township to find somewhere else.
I was really embarrassed because Herich San had made so many phonecalls and been so helpful.
As I was putting my shoes back on, the man indicated 4000 Yen.
It was getting dark outside and Herich San had such a look of worry at being lumbered with me that I agreed.

After saying goodbye and thank you to Herich San, OkOk Man showed me to my room which was surprisingly pleasant. He even got a fan out for me when I said I was hot. I started feeling a guilty about having him drop his price but felt a bit better when I said I didn’t want dinner, only breakfast.

After the day of public transport I felt travel weary to my bones. A day of road food and only one conversation had taken its toll.
As I got on the last bus, it was around 5'oclock and people were out with friends walking dogs and talking and I felt a twinge of homesickness.
I knew it was because of non- personal interactions with people all day and I knew I was coming down from the high of yesterdays fairytale with the Monks.
Just then I got a text from SMG just asking what was going down. I replied live to air then went out of range.

As I went to the bathroom before bed, the hugest cockroach I had ever seen was in the toilet – it sounded like a vinyl ‘wika wika’ when it scuttled.

Frogs outside OkOk place

Bus Henro For a Day - T40

2006-09-12T22:00:00.001+12:00

May 12

Had a good sleep then lovely breakfast.
Everyone laughed at me as usual but I’m starting to be able to tell if they are sincere or mocking me. This household seemed to have an inside joke and kept calling me ‘ok ok’.
I paid the old man and gave him an extra 450 yen.

I set off for Temple 40 which was only 100 paces away. I arrived at about 6:45 so the office wasn’t open yet.

As I was waiting, I was surprised to see the group of bus Henro whose paths I had crossed numerous times with the Monks, and again yesterday at the cafe. They all said hello and laughed at the coincidence. One of them, the one who showed me the menu yesterday, gave me an egg and a mandarin as settai. (I never knew with eggs whether they were going to be raw or boiled so I always waited until I was somewhere private before cracking them open).

The office opened and I got my stamp then set off back down the road to the tackle shop to catch the bus to the train station.

As I was walking down the road, the Henro’s bus pulled up beside me, the door opened and the tour leader leapt out saying they would like to take me as far as Temple 43 today (which was their last temple of this leg – they would do the next 22 later in the year).
I was shocked.
And thrilled.
I got on the bus and everyone clapped. I was embarrassed and confused but the lady I had talked to briefly yesterday (Nakano San) came and sat with me. She explained that they were clapping because they were so impressed that I was doing the Pilgrimage – that Japanese find it hard enough to do and they admired my bravery. She also told me it was Shia Sans idea to pick me up (the menu guy) and he insisted Taichiro San (the tour guide) stop and ask. I was really touched and turned back and bowed my head to Shia San.

My generous bus Henro - Taichiro San in centre

Showered With Settai - T41, 42 & 43

2006-09-12T21:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 cont...

Nakano San and her friend, Tashiro San

As we settled in and started driving, Nakano San kept being summonsed, backward and forward, by Shia San to give me settai. A can of coffee, an umbrella, two books that I have yet to find out what they are about, more food and a group photo of the bus. It was clear that he had taken a shining to me and I genuinely appreciated everything he gave me but it was getting embarrassing. Nakano San rolled her eyes but she didn’t say anything negative about him.

Shia San The Generous

I asked Nakano San if she could get everyone to sign the photo so I knew what there names were.

As we stopped at each Temple, Tachiro San would point at the stamp office to hurry me. Unfortunately we were behind two other large buses and they had bags and bags of books and scrolls to get stamped, then our bus had to have all theirs done too. Luckily our bus person always let me ahead of him so I managed to still get in a rushed Gya Tei.

Taichiro San The Serious (and me advising the photograper)

After Temples 41 and 42 we eventually got to Temple 43.
I took my bag with me this time and was going to have a leisurely Gya Tei but Taichiro San again ushered me to the stamp office because we had passed the other two busses and he wanted us to be done before they arrived. I figured I would go back and spend more time at the Temple when the bus had left so walked back to the entrance with everyone. The people at the shop offered us all a cup of tea as settai so and this was when everyone signed their names on the photo.

I said arigato to everyone whose names I knew then bowed and waved goodbye to the bus as it drove away with everyone waving back at me.

Just then a tired Henro walked up so I shared some of my settai of black bean cakes with him before going back up to pray.

Universe Humble Pie for Settai

2006-09-12T20:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 cont...

I couldn't help but see the Universes humour in the Bus Henro being so gracious in inviting me onto their bus.

Ever since the beginning of my trip, I had a subconscious contempt for Bus, and Taxi Henro.
They piled out of their airconditioned vehicles, took their sticks out of the rack the driver put outside the bus door for them and strolled to the Temple. Usually these were Tours and there would be a Priest who accompanied them and lead the Hanya Shinkyo - sometimes the tour leader would do it instead.

The bus driver or an accomplice would take their bags full of books and scrolls to the Stamp Office and hand them over to the Monks or lay people who were doing the stamps that day who would then calmly make their way through them like a production line. I had even seen in some places where the driver would do the stamping himself to make it quicker for the stamp people who then only had to sign them.

It felt like a Clayton Pilgrimage to me but not once did I ever see contempt from the people in the offices, any of my companions, nor from any other visitors to the Temples.

So when I got picked up by this wonderful bus full of no less devoted Henro, I had to eat some silent humble pie along with the numerous gifts of food settai they bestowed on me and I never resented another Henro and how they chose to do their Pilgrimage from that day on...

Outrageously Helpful

2006-09-12T19:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 conts...

I walked into town and ate at MacDonalds on the way. I had just this morning thought how much I would like a Filet O Fish.

I walked a bit further and found a train station but couldn’t find anyone who understood me enough to help me with a ticket so I just stood for a minute.
A class of young children came through so I stopped the last teacher. She understood enough to point out the next station I needed to go to and how much it was going to be.
As she left to catch up with her class, I put the money in the machine but the numbers changed and I kept having to push the refund button. I was just about to try a third time when the teacher came running in saying ‘Train now!’ so we sprinted up the stairs and over the ramp and back down the other side and got on the train.

The integrity and pride of the public servants of Japan is beyond compare.

When I got to the next train station, I was directed to the next bus I needed to catch and, because I had experience of a bus arriving a good 20 minutes before departure, I asked a driver if the bus he was standing next to was the one I needed to catch. He said No-next one.
In the meantime I looked around a vege shop.
Next thing, the bus driver comes running into the shop saying ‘Your bus, your bus!’

Yesterday I had a train ticket sales person come running out of her booth, across the tracks and along the platform to make sure I got on the right train.
Unbelievable.
Of all the incomprehensible non roman character countries to travel in ie: Russia, India etc Japan must surely be the best for helpfulness (and cleanliness).

YOSH!

2006-09-12T18:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 cont...

I was sitting at the front of the train opposite the over enthusiastic train driver. He was clearly a trainee.
His take off reminded me of astronauts or pilots when they say something then say Check! The driver would point dramatically at something with his white gloved hand then yell YOSH!! which I guessed meant Check! so his supervisor standing next to him could see he was doing all the right things.

I bravely took a video of him on my mobile and I realized I wasn’t the only one who found him amusing.

Bus Fare System Cracked!

2006-09-12T17:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 cont...

I finally cracked the bus ticketing system!

You get on at the back door and beside the door is a box where you take the next ticket.
On the ticket is a number which represents which stop you got on at.
Above the driver at the front is a huge LED screen with numbers 0 to 35 or 70 – depending on how many stops on that route. At the beginning of each section, the amount under the number on your ticket changes, indicating how much it would cost you if you got off at the next section.

Geez - It’s only taken me two weeks and 93 buses to figure it out!

Rambling Observations

2006-09-12T16:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 cont...

Some petrol stations were interesting – they often didn’t have pumps, just hoses hanging from the roof with the corresponding pump number and amount on an LED screen above the door into the garage.

Cars were mostly white grey, beige and sometimes black. Only about 1 in 50 was a bright colour.

Bike riding was chaotic and loose. Only young children wore helmets and there didn’t seem to be a ‘cool’ factor. Maybe it was a case of bike schmike – purely functional. Most of them were Nana bikes.
Road rage seemed non-existent – I hadn’t even witnessed road annoyance. The patience of drivers and bikers was Buddha like.
The day before I had seen an old man having to pull his bike out from a row that had fallen over and he didn’t seem particularly bothered.

Mayhem

A few days earlier, one of the bus Henro was wearing traditional henro white ‘cloven hoove’ shoes. I asked Nakano San about them. She told me they were called Jikatabi and that I would find some at Temples 45 and 77. I couldn’t help but lust after them and kept thinking about my friend RT who had a unique taste in footwear and how much she would love them.
After I found out about them, I saw workmen on roads and bridges wearing them too.

I was missing Europeans. In two weeks of constant travel, I had only seen 20 at the most, 10 of those in Tokyo on the first day here and not one other Henro. I hadn’t seen any at all for about a week.
Sometimes I got a bit hurt when people pointed and laughed at me. I was laughed at, or about everyday, which I didn’t usually mind but I didn’t like it when it was disrespectful.

HAH! I just saw a blonde/red head European biking past. Yay!

Laughing Stock and Tears

2006-09-12T15:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 cont...

I got off the bus where I was told to and started walking up the hill to Temple 44. The time was 4:45 so I looked at the map and found that Temple 45 is past 44 so I walked back down the hill to town. I decided I may as well go to 44 in the morning instead because the office was probably closed.

At one of the many information centres I had to stop at each day, a lovely girl dressed in traditional yukata helped me with not only directions and maps but by booking me into tonights hotel.

I stopped at a convenience store and asked directions to the hotel then asked where there might be an Udon restaurant but she had no idea.
I followed my instincts and found a little bar/restaurant further up on the other side of the street and went in.
I asked if they had Udon and the lady said Hai.
She got me a glass of water, towel and menu.
I said Wakarimasen and Begetarian. Meaning that I didn’t understand the menu but that I was a vegetarian. She didn’t understand so she got a young ‘dude’ to come out. I explained ‘no meat’. He said ‘Ah – vegetables’ (one hand) ‘Udon’ other hand and imitated a frying pan. I said Hai Hai! with thumbs up.

As I sat there, I could tell everyone sitting around smoking and drinking (aka – the locals) were talking and laughing about me and, by now, I had had two weeks of it so I couldn’t help but feel affected and my spirits started sinking.

The lady bought out my food and it had meat in it. I said Gomen nasai – sorry, and pointed to the vegetables and did the OK sign, pointed to the meat and did the No sign (making a cross with both hands). They still didn’t get it!
Eventually one of the locals at the bar said exactly what I had said ‘no meat’ and they all ahsoed.

After that I heard Eigo ga and Begetarian with gales of laughter so by now I couldn’t help the tears – they streamed down. Luckily I was at the end of the counter so I was able to look out the small window and discretely wipe them away.
I ordered myself a 'Halfway' Sake when my non meat version arrived and that got them going even more. My throat felt like it would close at the first mouthful and I almost walked out.

I didn’t want anything to ruin my halfway celebration so I sucked it up, ate my dinner and while drinking my sake I drew a diagram.
It showed a little Temple drawing with “Hajimemasu” (start) under it then Ichi Ban (Temple One) under that then a line to the next little Temple drawing and Hambun (half) with Yon Ju Yon (Temple 44) with an arrow down from that and the word Sake then another arrow down from that and the word Gampai!! (cheers) then, finally another line to a third little Temple drawing with ‘Owarasemasu’ (finish) and Hachi Ju Hachi Ban (Temple 88).

As I was drawing, I looked up and saw the Dude trying to give a piece of paper to his fellow Dude worker, then Dude two pushed it back at him. Dude one pushed it back at Dude two again and pointed at me then Dude two pushed it back again disgustedly – You do it!

I finished my diagram, skulled the last of my sake and said Ikura desu ka – how much? Dude one came up with the amount written down. I gave him the drawing and 10,000 yen. He looked at the drawing, looked at me then said Ah so!!
As he was getting my change, the others were asking him what I had given him. He gave me my change then Dude two excitedly leant over the counter and gave me a Chuppa Chup.

I left so they could spend the rest of the night rolling around in the weeks excitement.

TEXTS…

EL to SMG: I’m so sick of being the butt of jokes and being laughed about. I’m in a bar/rest with locals and they’ve had a great time – PSBs! (Poor Sad Bastards) I couldn’t stop tears

SMG to EL: That’s no good, maybe peoples poss natural slight xenophobia. As they haven’t met you before its unlikely to be personal, next week it’ll be someone else.

EL to SMG: Thanks S. Its more that I wouldn’t mind a laugh too. Over it now.

SMG to EL: Ok. What about…Q: What did one post modern artist say to the other post modern artist? A: Would you like fries with that burger? Or
Man goes to psychiatrist wearing gladwrap underpants. Doctor says ‘I can clearly see your nuts’

EL to SMG: Sooo laughing out loud! And so much funnier that ‘Mimasu orcashi gaijin’ (spot the crazy foreigner) Thanks S – just the prescription…

SMG always seemed to make everything ok...

Saying No to Soaking in a Bus

2006-09-12T14:00:00.001+12:00

May 12 cont...

As I came up to a hotel, I said Please let this be the one! And it was. It was fantastic. Clean, ordered and only 5,200 yen and breakfast was when I wanted it as opposed to 6am like most other places.

When I got to my room and started writing, the man rang and wanted to know about ‘bus’. Huh? I said Breakfast? He said again ‘bus!’. I didn’t get it and we laughed. Finally he said ‘shower’ and I realized he had been saying ‘bath’. I said Iie – no bath. He said Hai, I said Arigato and we hung up.

10 minutes later he rang again. We went through the same conversation then he put his wife on and I repeated the same thing. I’ve had this before. I think they were incredulous that anyone would not want a bath.

They would be even more incredulous if they saw me bathing in their washbasin in the porch of my room...

The Shelter Resident - T44

2006-09-12T13:00:00.001+12:00

May 13 (13kms)

The halfway point provided much more of a test than merely being mocked by the locals…

The hotel was a delight but I still had my usual night of fitful sleep and odd dreams. My dreams were usually about feeling the pressure of leading people around the Temples and worrying about getting lost.
The rooms and bedding can be very hot and usually the pillows are a bean bag type so quite hard and noisy, however, I do still enjoy sleeping on the futon on the ground.

I was up early, so, even though I had said I would like breakfast around 7, I went down at 6:30 and the man had it on the table ready. Sometimes my hosts will cook a dish or two of more western style food ie: fried eggs or ham and coleslaw. Todays breakfast was one of these but, as good as the eggs looked, I couldn’t eat them because the whites on the top were still slightly runny and it was all I could do to eat the stuff around them and not gag.

I was on the road by 6:40.

It was drizzling and it wasn’t going to stop any time soon so I had all my wet weather gear on.
By the bottom of the drive to Temple 44 I was hot so I went up a little side path to a shelter. As I was walking up, a young guy sped past me with a bag of groceries and ducked into the shelter. As I removed my layers, I politely asked if he was going to Temple 45 today. He didn’t understand but curled his arm by his ear which is Japanese charades to indicate sleep. As I put my wet weather gear back on, I noticed that the shelter (like a country road bus shelter) had tidy stacks of things, a little broom, a pair of jeans tucked away and I realized he was telling me this was where he slept ie: lived. He had the translucent and blackened teeth I have seen in films that indicate come sort of drug intake.

The ‘archway’ (didn’t know its actual name) to Temple 44 was beautiful. When looking through it, there was a moss covered wall behind it making it very zen like. There was also a very loud resident frog but I couldn’t find it.

I went to the stamp office which was open but no one was there. I found an intercom and after 10 minutes, I pushed it and said Moshi Moshi - Hello Hello. A lady answered it but I couldn’t understand what she was saying so I just said ‘English’ and she hung up. A minute or so later she came in and stamped my scroll.

I consulted my map then headed up the road toward Temple 45.

Following the Yellow Band Road

2006-09-12T12:00:00.001+12:00

May 13 cont...

At the top of a long winding road there was a phonebox which was just before the Tonomiro Tunnel. I stopped for one of my iron pills, some water and a lolly. The tunnel had no path in it but there was a Henro path beside it on the other side of the road. I crossed over and started up it.
It was very rocky, steep and because of the drizzle, slippery in places.

I came to a cross path but couldn’t see any Henro signs so, based on previous experience, I chose the one that went up. Henro always seem to have to go up!

I came to another cross path. I stood for a minute trying to work it out.
I went a little way down one path but it looked overgrown and unused. The upward path had a pink ribbon tied around a trunk so I took another punt that this was the way.

I still didn’t see any signs but I saw the occasional ribbon so I kept going up. I was really flying by the seat of my pants but knew I could retrace my steps at any time and maybe hitchhike through the tunnel.

I got to a T junction at the brow of the hill. I finally realized there were white bands painted on trees to the left, indicating the path to follow.

On the road coming up the hill to the tunnel, I had seen a large forest that had been felled. The only trees left standing had bands around them so I had thought that’s what the bands were around the trees here but at about every 10th tree, there was a symbol painted on it that I hoped meant ‘Temple’. I made another quick video showing these bands.

I was feeling more confident now – until the trees with white bands on suddenly went away from the path at an odd angle up the side of a hill, disappearing into the forest.

What do I do now?

I then noticed some old yellow bands on the trees still lining the path so I started following them until they suddenly stopped, leaving me with three not so obvious paths I could take.
I was getting really confused.
I went along each path until it looked overgrown or ‘wrong’ then returned to the fork. I then decided to go back to where the white bands went up the hill.
I stopped and had a ‘calorie mate’, the last of my food, while I thought about what to do.
Do I wait for another Henro?
Do I go back down to the Tunnel?
Or do I risk following the white bands?