Giving Stick

May 3 cont...

I couldn't have chosen three more humble, kind and patient people out of a line-up to accompany me (that's why I knew to leave it up to Kobo Daishi!) and walking with them felt soothing - as if any worries I had ever had had were in fact someone elses all along. Our conversations were relaxed and stimulating and, apart from the two storied building on my back, and my hips and shins developing stress fractures, I was happy and enjoying myself.

However, as we were walking, I was wrestling with my conscience like a Sumo on sick-leave. It was a well known and lamented fact that asphalt was the enemy but it felt like a sin punishable only by terminal mortality to be resenting The Stick.

The Stick, most Henro knew, represented two things.
The Pilgrimage motto was We Two Pilgrims Together - meaning Kobo Daishi and me, and The Stick represented Kobo Daishi. There were even bowls of water beside lodging front doors to wash the bottom of The Stick - aka Kobo Daishi's feet.
The other significance came from the old days, before roads and signposts. Pilgrims would often die on the Henro trail and The Stick was used to mark where they were buried. So resenting The Stick felt like Dissing the Daishi!

The reason for my resentment?
I could justify juggling my phrasebook, water bottle, sunglasses and hat, but The Stick just got in the way. I was sure it would be essential on the mountain trails, as The Laughing Henro insisted, but right now, on the asphalt, frankly it was as useful to me as a zimmer frame would be to Dorothy on the yellow brick road!

In an effort to justify the awkward appendage, I commented lamely to Yahiro San, when he asked after it, that it was 'quite stabilising on uneven surfaces'. He then admitted that he had looked for one at the last temple we were at but couldn't see any to buy. 

 Ten Four Mr Daishi - reading you loud and clear!

Later in the afternoon we were all having quiet-time managing our weariness. I casually asked Yahiro San if he could hold my stick for me while I wrote something down in my little notebook. I dropped back to write and Yahiro San walked ahead and started talking to Kenji San. Even after putting my notebook away, I stayed looking down so that I could avoid Yahiro San's eye contact, and watched him surreptitiously from under the brim of my hat. I was pleased to see that he had integrated The Stick as if it was his all along, and didn't look back once to see where I was, so I started talking to Taieriki San.

After an hour or so, he turned and went to hand it back to me as casually as I had passed it to him. I made my hands into a cross (which is Japanese charades for 'No') and said 'Ie! I want you to have it as settai'. He looked a bit confused but kept carrying it but because he hadn't said Thank You, I knew that he hadn't quite understood.

When we finally arrived at temple 6, he went to hand it to me again, saying thank you (for the lend). I put my hands behind my back, looked directly into his eyes and said slowly and meaningfully 'No Yahiro San - I would like to give you The Stick as settai'. His face lit up and this time he said 'Oh - thank you very much!' and reverently put it with all the others in the stick rack beside the door.

I quickly turned my back because I didn't think I would be able to talk out of my constricted throat. I had forgotten how humbling it could be to give something to someone who had no idea how precious they were.